


Choking on Dirt

by sketzocase



Category: Dark Wolverine (Comics), Wolverines (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Dark, Eventual Happy Ending, Physical Abuse, Physical Torture, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Victim Blaming, psychological abuse, revamp, unnecessarily violent in parts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-18 00:39:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 58,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4685639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketzocase/pseuds/sketzocase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The revamp and continuation of an old story "Choke". Daken is met in the afterlife by a surprising, altogether horrifying, visitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Choke and Sputter

**Author's Note:**

> Revamping this one to fit more current story lines. So set post Wolverines. Mainly exploring the depths of Romulus' control and head games... because I love me some head games. 
> 
> lots of torture. So, so, so much torture.   
> Victim blaming.   
> Victim mindset.   
> Emotion, physical, psychological torture. 
> 
> Tags will be up here for warnings and triggers.   
> The really trigger happy ones will be really well labeled. If you see something not done that you think should be tagged- let me know. It's honestly hard to keep up with everything I plan to do in this story.

Inhale.

Standing at the foot of eternity… you see everything you’ve ever done in your life. The good the bad. And fuck… fuck I’ve done a lot of bad.

Exhale.

Nothing like dying. The rush of adrenaline, the panic. Then- blackness.

Inhale.

I’m doing wonderfully. I have no clue what comes next, and me- the ultimate schemer- I’m not freaking the fuck out yet. I’ve done this before. At least twice, I think.

But this time- this time is different.

Exhale.

“That’s right, boy. Breathe. In and out.”

Choke on your breath.

Sputter.

Cough.

Bright lights are blinding me. My chest aches. And at the foot of the plush bed I find myself in, lays my worst nightmare.

Romulus.

Choke on your breath.

Sputter.

Cough.

The terrible vision laughs. “And where did you think you would go- Daken? Somewhere nice? No boy. Here- here it’s only you and me.”

I could cry. If the bastard hadn’t taught me better.

“Master-“

It’s so easy to fall back into old habits. Even in eternity.

“Daken.” He greets. “You seem unhappy to see me.” The monstrous man sits on the bed, petting my leg through the sheets. “You know, someone once told me, that hell was being trapped with your worst nightmare. Tell me Daken- am I your worst nightmare?”

How to answer?

Think.

Choke on thoughts.

Tangle your words.

Say nothing.

“You’ve got all of time to think on that answer.” Romulus mutters, coming closer to me.

Panic.

Choke on air.

Swallow spit .

This is death. NO worse- this is hell. As the man possessively engulfs my ankle with his large hand, I scream internally.

All the good I have done- or tried to do… is gone.

Now I will be punished.

Now I will sit on the edge of a pit that I myself have made.

And the others? Are they dead?

We should all be dead.

Mystique… the victor. The reason I’m here.

For some reason my mind flitters to Laura.

Inhale…

Death- her death. This would be the first time for her. She’s done bad- but she is good. Pure. Is she suffering?

Will she suffer?

“Your hell, my boy.” He drawls. “Will be my rebirth.”

Scream.

Choke.

And

Scream


	2. Inhale and Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT
> 
> So this was written very quickly and very sloppily - all of it. So I'm rewriting and editing chapter by chapter. This one didn't change much- but there are a few tweaks here and there. 
> 
> The main changes are going to be towards the end. One of those- why the fuck did I write this sort of things. So I'm actively trying to salvage what I can without having to ax the whole story. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! if you're rereading, excuse the mess. Should be done in a week or two!

Jasmine Falls

\------------------------------------

Some place different. Some place calm.

Pretty even.

Inhale.

The scents are soft- Tea, flowers, the smell of the grass. The slight smell of overall freshness of the trees themselves passes by a slight breeze. It's a perfect day- in other words. Just like yesterday. And the day before that one. And... well you get it. It's all been so perfect.

The main reason for all this perfectness is walking over here, her long dark hair catching in the breeze and fanning out behind her.

She smiles. “Husband.”

I lean forward from where I’m laying on the grass. "Hey. You up already?"

“Of course." She laughs a little. "The real question is why are you 'up'? You should be in bed.”

I smile at her. “Had to get some fresh air.”

She’s beautiful. Her features are flawless-untouched by time.

Exhale.

“It is indeed fresh- isn’t it?” Her accented words are music to my ears.

“The freshest darlin’.”

“You should be in bed.” She sits on the ground with her knees under her beautiful kimono. “You’ve got much resting to do.”

“I feel like I’ve been resting forever.”

“Logan,” She breathes. “You deserve the rest. Come to bed.”  
I reach a hand out to touch her… and she’s there. Actually there. My hand makes contact.

“You’re real.” I breathe.

Inhale.

Her scent- it’s so strong. “So you keep saying.” She raises an eyebrow, dark eyes dancing with something close to mischief.

I run a hand down the silk of her clothing, stopping at her belly. This isn't right- not all the way. She's here... dressed like this... in this place....

She catches my eyes, her own dimming a little. “Logan.” She breathes sadly. “You will not find him within me.” Sadly, we have had this conversation twice before now. It's hard to tell the present from the dreams I had of her. The baby, the baby she was so happy about... isn't here.

She presses my hand more firmly to her belly. “He cannot be.”

“Have you ever…” I stop. "I guess you never got to see him- did you?"

“For a second.” She smiles sadly. “When I arrived. He was with me for just a moment. I touched his hand… such a calm baby. I went to hold him, and he faded from my arms. Did you get to hold him, my love?”

“Daken-“

“Do not call him that.” She hisses. “Please. My heart cannot bear it.”

“That’s his name- darlin.” I try to reason.

“No,” She shakes her head. “No- it is not. My child will never be referred to as a 'mongrel' in front of me. The fact that he allows himself to be called as such I find personally heartbreaking.”

We’re silent for a second.

"There's a lot about him that's 'heartbreaking'." I never told her what happened between us. She's mentioned him before in passing- but it's becoming a regular thing now. She brings him up more and more- like she knows something that I don't but is too afraid to say anything about it. Itsu is like that sometimes. She holds knowledge close to her heart. Sometimes I think it's too much for her.

“Did you hold him?” She asks again. “Did you tell him how much we… how much I loved him? How loved he would have been?”

I shake my head. It’s hard to feel sad here… but we’re both feeling it now. “He wouldn’t let me. By the time I got to him, he wouldn’t listen. He's... twisted. He doesn't think straight.”

“I… Know." She says gently. "That I know."

That surprises me.   
  
Some of her knowledge about our son didn't come from me? That's.... interesting. 

"How do you know?" I try not to sound accusatory. I've had to remember that Itsu is... softer than others. Like... 'Ro for example. 

When I 'woke', she was here. And I loved her- of course I did. I always have. 

But it took some time getting used to her again. Especially after Ororo. They're almost polar opposites. 

She smiles softly. "The same way I know that you found peace with the wind rider."

Is she reading my mind?   
  
Some kind of freaky power set she didn't tell me about? 

 "Honey-" How to explain?

Itsu runs her hand over mine, still clutched to her stomach. "I was dead for seventy-five years- love. I did not expect for you to be celibate."

"How did you see?" Secrets. She's hiding something.

She looks off to the side, taking in one of the cheery trees. "The same way I see my son." She looks back and grins. "And that is my secret."

I take my hand from her stomach and push some of the long hair behind her ear, running a finger across her cheek. "And you always loved your secrets." I tease.

She smiles, and it flashes teeth- In a cute way. A way that Daken doesn't know he inherited from her. Seeing her.... being this close to her- I make a lot of connections between the two of them. He's more like her physically- I'll give him that. If he could... meet her. I like to imagine that conversation....

.... then again- it's Daken. And he'd probably do something vile.

Itsu sighs. "I have waited for him- you know. But he does not come. He cannot. That creature-“ she hisses. “That monster- He has perverted him. He’s stolen my son from my arms in life and in eternity. He must suffer now. Always suffering.” Her eyes are glistening. “He stole him from me. Right through my arms.”

I raise up all the way, sitting with my back to the tree.“How do you know this?”

She looks away. "I've told you that I have my secrets."

"What secret do you have?" I press.

She looks back at me briefly before her eyes dart away again. "I know about the men who destroyed our lives." she says softly. "I know about the confused soul who shot me and I know about the monster who orchestrated it. I know he cut me open and stole our child from within me. I know what he proceeded to do to you and our son over the course of all these years." She stops. "And I know what you did to end his reign." She looks back at me. "And I am proud of you."

“Itsu, I didn’t tell you that. How do you know about Romulus? How do you know any of this?”

"Surprisingly his name was not in my knowledge." She smirks a tiny bit. "With the teeth and the claws I figured his name to be something more.... demonic."

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Baby- how do you know about him? How do you know what he looks like?"

She shakes her head. “Logan- I confess that I have seen more than I should.... I did not intentionally hide this from you- you understand.”

“How?” I press. "How did you see him?"

Is he here? Has he seen her? My god if he's touched her.. if he's touched her I will burn this place to the ground.

She raises from her spot, wringing her hands as she stands there and tries to look at the trees again to avoid my eyes. “It is not a comforting sight. I've used it over the last few months... I know enough to know that he's been betrayed.”

“How??” I’m up on my feet, hand on her arm. "Can you show me?"

Itsu sighs and looks at her feet for a second, bending down and removing her shoes. "I can. Please follow quickly. I do not like to stay long."

"Why did you take your shoes off?" I ask, finding that more odd than what we're talking about for a second.

"Because," She rolls her eyes back to me. "I like them and do not wish to get mud on them."

With that- she takes me to the back of the lot, into a small grove of trees that create a circle of shade around a large well, one I wouldn’t have given a second glance. It's a raised circle of stone surrounding some oddly dark colored water. "I... I acquired this.... a woman gave it to me. She walked by one day and heard my suffering.... she offered me a way to ease my loneliness."

"With a well?"

“Here-come see.” She sits on the edge of the rounded circle of stone and runs her hand through the water. “My baby. My son.” The water begins to grow even darker. “Quickly please.” She adds.

I stand there for as second, watching in fascination as the darkness grows light- soon the well looks like it's engulfed in torch light. It grows more and more in focus- revealing a room lit by torches. The walls are all empty and there's a large bed in the center. Listening closely I swear I can hear muffled voices. "This... is amazing." I breathe. "What is it?"

"I do not know." Itsu looks down at the water thoughtfully. "The woman was odd- I was crying at the time and I never saw her face. She just told me to tell it what I wanted to see... and that it would show me."

I go to say something but a noise drags my attention back to the water- it sounds like muffled screaming. The image grows frightening- it starts with shadows- slowly morphing them into forms like it had down with the torches.

Itsu puts a hand to her mouth. “No…”

“What’s going on?” I can't look away. It's like watching a puzzle be put together in fast forward. Someone's being tortured... and they're being very vocal about it.

“No!” Tears fall from her eyes. "Oh please no!" Her voice is ragged.

“Itsu what is this?" I demand, eyes glued to the well.

"It's him!" She cries, fingers covering her eyes. "Oh lord. There is no mercy."

I look closer... and it can't be. It can't. " When is this?”

“It’s now.” She looks at me through wide eyes. “It’s now.”

That’s impossible. Romulus… most of the image is taken up by him. There’s blood everywhere. I see.. just him. Torches in the background, and he's close. He's clawing at something... and the muffled voice is screaming louder. "Your well is broken." I try. "This is impossible... he's not even there! You asked to see Daken- not Romulus!"

"He is there." She breathes. "It's... it's through his eyes."

His... "No." It's all I can manage. The muffled noise is slowly coming into focus- at fist all you can hear his labored breathing. Words are slowly starting to drift through though...

“Enough!” She cries, violently throwing her hand into the water to disrupt the image. “Enough.” She sinks to her knees- placing a hand on the side of the well.

“Darlin’…” I go to the ground, taking her in my arms. She sobs quietly as I hold her. “What was that?”

She continues to sob.

“Itsu-“

“My baby. In his own eternity.”

“No.” No. Eternity with Romulus? That’s too cruel to think of.

“Oh what has he done?” She sniffles. “What cruel joke is this??”

I know he’s no angel… but this doesn’t seem right. This can’t be right.

“How is that possible?” I ask more to myself. I never killed Romulus... he shouldn't be here!

Her eyes are wide. "The shadow dweller." She spits. " He bargained for his own death!"

“Itsu? How do you know that?”

She sighs. "The dead talk. Sometimes I hear them through the well."

“And they talk about him?”

Still tearful, she nods again. "Oh Logan we must go to him. There has been a mistake. This must be a mistake!"

I nod, rocking her against me. "How? How do we find him?"

She slowly stops crying, and her eyes hold a spark of undiluted determination.... a lot like when she told me she wanted a baby come to think of it. “Last time I tried- he was revived before I could reach him. We must move quickly.” ... I'm going to refer to this look as her "Daken" look. Apparently, it's going to come out anytime he's involved.

“ 'We'? Darlin’ I think I should go.”

She laughs a little bitterly. “What more can happen to me, my love? I am already dead. I am in no danger. I will rip this creature apart and send him back to his precious shadows in pieces!”

"You'll get hurt." I try again.

"I am dead- Logan. I cannot be hurt."

That’s not true. We can hurt here. I felt it when I extended my claws. She can still suffer….

“Honey, you can’t fight. You’ve never learned how.”

“I will learn as we go.” She assures.

“Itsu-“

“I have made up my mind- Logan.” She says sternly. “We will go to him. Together.”

“….You’re so stubborn.” I laugh a little, running a thumb down her cheek. "I... can't take you with me."

She sighs. "You have no choice dear." She smirks a little- and damn it's a lot like Daken's. "You do not know the way."

I can't help but laugh. "See what I said? Stubborn."

She smiles. “I could say the same for you….”

I sigh, taking her by the elbows and raising her to her feet. “Is it a long walk, darlin’?”

She nods. “If he is where I think he is.”

“Alright…. You’re gonna need some new clothes then. That'll be step one.”

She looks down. “Yes… it seems that these are bit much for our plans.”

“We could- I dunno. Skin something? You want me to go kill a deer?“

“There is no need.” She smiles. “Things have a way of showing up when you need them here. If you need it, wish for it- and it is yours.”

I cock an eyebrow. “Then you are really going to love this next part.”

“Oh?” She sounds uncertain of my teasing.

“Ya. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’d love to see you in some more… ‘modern’ clothing.”

“Modern?” She laughs before adding. “How modern?”

“Well…. it was 2015 when I died.”

She pales a little. “So long… You’ve lived so long.”

I nod. “Let’s get you some clothes... from my time.”

She raises an eyebrow. "I feel hesitant to agree to this."

"Beauty and brains." I grin at her, gaining a sigh as she allows me to start walking us back to the house.


	3. Bleed and Sob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Daken receives a lesson from his master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Torture ahead. Not extremely graphic- sorry to say that it will get worse. 
> 
> This is also the last chapter I had made up from the old story, so the following chapters won't go as fast. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy it!

Open your eyes

Flinch

Feel your flesh burn

Romulus takes the fire away from my exposed stomach. His torch shining brightly in the dimly lit room.

I appreciate the absence of the flames more than I can say.

Part of me thinks he knows that. It's a slight smirk he's wearing.   
  
He has the chance to be both the villain and in a fucked up sense- the hero. He is hurting me and he is the reason I am no longer hurting. I remember this from when I was a kid.  

“Now tell me, my dear boy, is this your idea of hell? You could have it so many other ways….”

So many other ways he says. Romulus’ slave for all eternity. I could be the perfect lap dog.

“Master?” I ask in a weak tone that nearly kills me.

It still hurts. 

My healing factor is... back. But slow. I heal at night. Only at night. Only when he's completely finished. It's only been a few days since I woke up, however. Maybe it will return to it's usual quickness when I've been .... recuperated enough.   
  
I don't know how this works. I don't know how any of this works.   
  
All I know is that I'm hurting, I'm not healing, and I'm in pain. I am weak. I am the poster child for weakness.

“There’s a boy.” The large man smiles, putting his torch into the iron bracket on the wall.  
He moves closer to me and I hope for a second that he’ll untie me. But me being the educated man that I am? I know better.

This man will never let me go. Not even death.

Inhale.

Count to ten.

Push back the rage.

There is no escaping this. There is no out.

His claws caress my skin in a way which says that he knows I belong to him. That I’ve always belonged to him. That I always will. It’s enough to make me sick to my stomach.

“I need you with me, Daken.” He says as sweetly as he can manage. “I’ve got something big planned…” he’s drawing blood now, running his hands through it as it runs down my thighs. “And I need my boy…”

His boy. Always his boy. Since I was young. Always under his thumb, suffocating in his shadow.

Exhale.

Try not to scream.

"You current state taken into account..." His free hand motions to my missing arm. 

He makes me apologize for it. 

Like it was my fault. 

When I woke up, I thought for sure it would have regrown. So sure I was. 

His hand travels further and further. If I were weaker I’d probably be in tears. How many times must we play this game? How many times must I lay just lay here and take it?   
  
If this were any other man- any other one- he'd be dead.   
  
Why does he have this power over me?   
  
Why am I so.... scared? 

“There was a time… when you used to enjoy this.” The man growls in my ear, his hand stopping its upward trail.

“I was young…” I grit, gaining some of my senses back “I didn’t know any better!”

There. I won't be scared. I won't be weak. I won't let him do this to me. Not now. Not ever again.

  
With that I weakly kick my right leg up, aiming for his crotch. But his hand easily deflects it.

What? My... no. No.   
  
He's... better than me.   
  
How could I have forgotten? 

I go for another kick- but he pins my leg to the mattress. 

He growls dangerously in my ear, “Then we’ll just have to keep at it until you learn to like it again, won’t we?”

With that, his only warning, he roughly shoves himself into me, unpaired to take it.  
A few painful thrusts, and I’m this sniveling little ten-year-old again.

“Don’t. You. Ever. Try. To. Attack me.” Each word his punctuated by a thrust. I lay there as my body is literally being torn apart.

“I’m…” I falter, the pain is too much.

“Yes?” He asks almost playfully.

“I’m---“ I’m choking on bile. My mouth stings at the acidic taste.

“You’re what, Daken?” The man demands, still thrusting as hard as his massive body will allow. My body moves with it, though the chains keep me from going anywhere. He’s prepared for this. He knew how to take the arm into account.

This rigging puts as much strain on me as he could possibly manage. To say this is painful is an understatement. 

“Sorry.” I say finally. “I’m sorry.”

I am.   
  
I'm so sorry.   
  
I'm sorry I forgot my place.   
  
I'm sorry I thought I was strong.   
  
I'm sorry... I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know.... 

“Are you really?” The man slows himself down, but doesn’t stop.

I nod furiously. In his slowing down, I try to angle my hips better. I try- But he pins me to the mattress with a strong hand. “I think you’d say just about anything to get me to stop- wouldn’t you? You’re a smart boy, aren’t you? What would you do if you were in my position?” he raises an eyebrow looking at me dangerously. “Would you believe you? Speak up boy!” The last is thundered in my sensitive ear.

“No.”

Breathe through the pain.

Choke on bile.

Hold back your tears.

“Ah… there’s a smart boy.” He nuzzles my neck as if he were showing affecting, before savagely biting down and tearing flesh away. He spits the chunk on the floor. “You even taste weak.” He growls. “Where has my heir gone, Daken? Is it possible that maybe someone has made you soft?” He gets a glint in his eyes. “Maybe someone… yes… a young one.. And who would that be, Daken? Who’s taken my weapon and turned it into this weakling in front of me?”

“No- no one.” I stammer.

I’m not weak. I’m not… I swore to myself that none of this would ever happen again. And here it goes.

“Really? You haven’t had one too many ‘hearts to hearts’ with Logan’s little science experiment, then?”

I gulp. Could Laura have really made me this way? Has she turned me into something I am not? Am I so displeasing in my master’s eyes?

“Or was it daddy… I know you buried him. In a sense you mourned him. Why would you do that Daken? Why would you mourn the man who cursed you to a life you swear that you hate?”

“No- no Master it wasn’t like that.”

He stills inside of me.

“Oh?”

“NO.” I shake my head.

Inhale.

Think.

Think harder.

“Then how was it, weakling?”

“It…. he didn’t mean to.”

“Ah… see, there it is. The root of our little problem. Sentiment.” He spits the word. “He didn’t love you boy. Nobody loves you. You’re unlovable.” He lashes out at me with his claws again. “All you have is me… who had the grace to take you in. Logan doesn’t care. He left your mother to rot and die… with you still inside her. He’s more of a man than you- do you realize this? That weak, pathetic man, is still more of a man than you. Maybe I should consider making him my heir.” He pauses… “But wait- he’s dead- isn’t he? Ah boy. Poor, poor, orphaned Daken. No one to mourn you.”

This isn’t fair. Why am I getting so upset? Romulus doesn’t even have a ‘kingdom' anymore for fuck's sake!

He can’t hurt me. He can’t.

But… he can. I’m feeling pain.

And he’s right…. Logan can’t save me. He can’t. He’s in his own hell. One he’s made for himself by his own deeds. Is it as horrible as mine? How do our deeds compare in the cosmic scheme of things?

He leans into my ear and whispers, “You know I’m starting to think it was a good thing your mother died, Daken. She would have been disgraced to see what you’ve become.”

That’s the final straw… but not in the usual way. Instead of rage, I feel this unbelievable sadness. Like all he said was true. I never really cared much for love when I was alive. But now… now that I can’t have it, I think of all the chances I was given. Am I really unlovable? Was Logan right to kill me? Was Mystique right to do the same?

Lose all control.

Feel tears drip down your face.

Start sobbing like an infant, choking on a mixture of bile, saliva, and tears.

“Ah, ah, ah.” The man chides, speeding up again. “I’ll have none of that. You think a few crocodile tears are going to persuade me when you so obviously need reminded of your station?”

And I just… can’t… stop… crying.

Finally, he puts his giant hand over my mouth as he used to do when I was child… stifling my noise.

“Silence, boy. I’ve heard enough of you.” He growls. 

Just like when I was young. 

This goes on for the longest twenty minutes of my life. Maybe twenty minutes. But the time seems to have warped. It seems much longer than that. As if logic cannot be used here.

 By the time it’s over the wounds are gaping but my sobbing seems to have stopped momentarily. I've stopped crying and I’m numb and cold all over. This leads me to believe that there will be more unpleasantness ahead. 

“I think you’ve learned a valuable lesson today, Daken.” He soothes in the most patronizing way imaginable.

“Yes, Master.” I state automatically. Numbly. I have no personality. I have no desire to be unique. 

I am what he wants for me to be. Just as it should be. 

“And what would that be?” He’s removed himself from me, and is taking his time in cleaning up.

“To obey.”

He smiles- more of a snarl than a smile. “Good boy.” Then he looks me over, a mask of blood and bodily fluids covering me. A mess. A ruined mess. His perfect canvas. “I think you should lay there and think on your lesson.” He smirks now. Knowing that I can smell every drop of blood, sweat, and semen on me.

And what is this? What is this? I was doing better. I was trying to be better! Why? Why is this so different than the other times?? My body stings. My mind screams in torment. And he’s there, through it all- watching. Has he been waiting on me? Has he tracked me down just to punish me for my betrayal??

I’m brought back to reality by a painful slap to my face. “You’re getting misty eyed again.” The man snarls. “You pathetic weakling! Is this the price you paid for ‘freedom’?? Was it worth it boy? Tell me!” He slaps me again, claws leaving deep slashes in my face.

“Please!” Is all I can manage. His claws got too close to my good eye. It makes me panic.  If something were to happen- I'd be completely blind. I don't think i could stand that. 

“Begging?” He snarls. He sneers and looks at his hand, at his claws. “I’ll give you something to cry about.”

He takes his forefinger, claw extended and brings it toward my face. Right about-

“Don’t.” I sob. “Please.”

“Don’t think to control me boy.” He snarls, shoving his claw through my empty eye socket and into my brain.

“Please!” I cry raggedly. “Stop! Please.”

“Stop crying.” He orders.

“Please, please, please,” A tearful, pain filled mantra.

“Stop.” He shoves his claw deeper. “Crying.”

“Yes,” I try. “Yes Master.”

“Are you done?” He asks with a lilt in his voice, pulling his claw free.

“I.. can’t stop.” I whine pathetically.

The man smiles again. “Then maybe we should do something about your mouth.” From the table he picks up a small needle and some thread.

His intentions are painfully clear.

“Please master-“ I’m reduced to begging again. “Don’t. Please. I’ll do better. I’ll do better!”

“Consider this, as the second part of your lesson… I do believe we’ve done this before.”

Yes. When I was ten. I could not for the life of me control my emotions. SO he stitched my mouth shut for several weeks. It was awful. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t drink- and most of all, I couldn’t die.

“Hold still.”

I try to back my head away, but he’s not having it. Romulus grabs me by my hair and stabs the needle through my lip.

The pain… it’s one thing I never forgot. And now it’s one thing I never will.


	4. Inhale and Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A journey begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... writing for Itsu is now one of my favorite things. Just throwin' it out there. 
> 
> No torture here- so yay! 
> 
> Also.... i want y'all to bear with me with my loosely interpreted views on eternity. While being open minded, I am not in the least bit religious so I'm doing this based off of what feels right for the story. :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy! It's a bit of a detour from what the first one was, but I think it will turn out well enough!

Inhale slowly.

Swallow back laughter.

“If you’re laughing,” She warns weakly through the door. “I will not be coming out.”

“I’m not.” I assure, quickly, while trying strangle another laugh that’s escaping. She needs help in there, but kicked me out after my 'assistance' with the bra. Hey- can't blame a man for wanting to help- right? And in my defense- she did let me ask for the clothing.

“It’s not funny!” She whines and, from the sound of it, stomps her foot.

“…it’s a little funny.” I pluck at a frayed string on the edge of the bed. It’s her mother’s blanket. That much I remember. Given to her shortly after our wedding.

Through the door I can hear her sigh heavily. “I.. am not certain how this is supposed to look... so I am not sure if I’m wearing correctly. I am used to many more…layers. Yes. there should be more cloth.”

“Come out of the bathroom and I’ll tell you if you’ve got it on right.” I can hear her heart speed up. “Come out and let me look.”

“No!” She snaps. “You will not! You are of no help!”

Exhale.

She’s still modest. As in 1940’s modest. It’s cute in it’s own right, but we’ve really got to get moving.

“You’ve got to come out some time.” I'll admit that that was said teasingly.

The room is pleasantly as I’d left it…. all of 75 years ago. Not a thing touched by time.  
The bed, still as worn as it was, the silk sheets and comforters have her scent all over them. The walls are the same wood that they were when I built this place... and damn it's nice to see my own handiwork.

She wanted home. That was her paradise. Home. Our home.

I guess I wanted that too. That's why I'm here- isn't it? I 'wanted' it badly enough and it was given to me.

I’m still trying to figure out how this thing works. Obviously if you want it bad enough, you can merge your ending with someone else’s. And she… she’s all I want. All I’ve wanted for years.

This is perfect, even with the current mission at hand.

“Darling, I would ask that you not look at me.” She says gently- whining gone.

“Itsu, the clothes aren’t that bad- trust me. You should see some of the things the women I work with wear. They wouldn’t give what you’ve got on a second thought. It’s tame for them.”

She huffs from within the bathroom. “I HAVE seen what your colleagues wear and I find myself in shock of how a woman could so openly share her body with the world.”

That draws a laugh from me. “Honey, it’s a pair of shorts. I’m not asking you to run around in spandex or leather. Just shorts.”

“You should not see this much of me outside of the bedroom!”

Alright… the shorts are a little short. But she’s got great legs- I’m dying to see them again.

“You’re fine. It’s just me.” I look around the room. “And technically, if it makes you feel any better, we are still in the bedroom.”

"This is not funny- Logan." ... trouble. She used my name in that tone again.

"It's easier to move in that- trust me."

"Trust you?" She snorts. "I don't see you wearing any of this!"

"Are you saying you'd like me dress like a girl?" I tease.

"Of course not!" She sounds shocked.

Riiiiiggght. The 40's didn't have a lot of men wearing women's clothes. The idea is probably a little odd for her.... part of me wonders how she'll react to these 'alternative lifestyles' when she finds out Daken's bi. I mean- I'll admit- I was a little shocked when I found out... but hey. It's his body right? He can use it how he wants. He's a big boy.... right?

"Come out darlin'. We have to get moving."

She’s silent for a second. “...You won’t laugh?”

“I swear.”

“On your honor.” She insists.

“On my honor.” I repeat.

“…Alright then. If it is your wish.” The door opens with the smallest of creeks.

“Wow.” It's an understatement. 

She glares at me.

“Wow.” I restate.

“Well?” She implores.

“Well what?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Do I look as good as one of your heroes?”

“Even better.” I assure.

“Even… better? This material is for men.”

“No, darlin. Denim is unisex now.”

She still has the amazing body she's always had... part of me wants to ask if she still had the pregnancy weight when she got here... but then a smarter part remind me that women don't like to talk about their weight that much. The smart part tells the dumb part to not ask. So I don't.... And they say old dogs can't learn new tricks. I haven't been married for a long time. Learning to keep my mouth shut has taken some time.

“The length,” she continues, trying to smooth the shorts out as if it were a skirt. “leaves a lot to be desired.”

“…Would you prefer traveling in your kimono then?” I tease.

“….No.” She sighs.

“Good.”

She still looks pissed. “The undergarments are restricting.”

“Ya….?” I grin at her. "I could help you take it off if you'd like...."

"Logan." She growls.

I hold my hands skyward in a show of innocence.

“And you’re sure that women dress like this?” She pleads. As if I'm going to tell her 'nah. just kidding.' Nope. I like this outfit a lot. I hope she keeps it when we're done.

I nod, rising from the bed and walking to her. She shies away from my touch. “Come here, Itsu.”

“No.”

“You look fine.”

She glances side ways. “Just ‘fine’?”

“Beautiful. Radiant even.” I praise, taking her into my arms.

She laughs. “You only called me ‘radiant’ when I was with child.”

I shrug. “Seems to fit.”

“What if… what if he doesn’t recognize me in this modern clothing?”

Ah. I see. “Honey… he doesn’t know what you look like. I didn’t…. I didn’t have any pictures saved of you. I could show him a glimpse I had from a dream…”

She swallows. “He… but he looks so much like me. How could he not know?”

“Honey,” I take her hand and bend down in front of her, “He’ll be so happy to see you- to meet you- that it won’t matter what you’re wearing. He’ll know it’s you…. You could be his sister from the looks of it. He'll recognize you right away.” And if the looks don't do it- he'll definitely smell it in her scent. I think that would be too odd to add on though. She was never really completely comfortable with be able to smell as well as I can. It always made her self-conscious.

“That kimono was the last part I had of the two of you. It’s the last piece of clothing you saw me in, and it’s the last piece of clothing I wore that he and I shared…. It’s come to mean so much to me.”

“We’re not throwing it away- Itsu. When we’re done, and he’s saved, you can change right back.”

She actually pouts a little. “This ‘top’ isn’t much of a top.”

“True,” I rise up and run a finger over one of the ‘spaghetti’ strings. “But it looks great. And there’s not a lot of cloth to slow you down.” It fits like a glove too. Maybe I 'asked' a little too clearly.

“I believe,” she drawls. “that you just like staring at my breasts.”

“…Also true.”

“Logan!” She laughs.

“Feeling better yet?”

She nods. "I'm not sure what to do with my hair though. I don't have anything to pin it back with."

“You're fine, I promise.” I look around the room a little despairingly. “That's it for step one. Now...." I look out the window at the scenery. "No chance we could get a car here, is there?”

“A car?” She laughs. "

“Ya… like a mustang. Always wanted one of those.”

“… Is that not a horse? I thought you wanted a car.”

I look at her a second before realizing that she's being serious. “…. That’s adorable.”

She blinks at me in confusion. “What is?”

“A mustang is a car, darlin’.”

She puts a hand on her hip. “No, I’m certain it is a horse.”

“It’s both.”

“…. How can a creature be both animal and machine?” She shakes her head, putting a hand on her temple. “I am glad that I did not live to your time. It find it’s mannerisms quite confusing.”

I look over at her. Black shorts, white top…. She looks good. She looks real. "Oh." I walk over to the bed and pick up the rest of her clothing. "Here."

She looks at the black boots in my hands. "Those are for men!" She complains.

"No they're not." I assure. "Put them on. We gotta get moving."

Inhale.

I can’t get over how real she is.

How out of all that bad I’ve done, I could still deserve this.

There’s only one missing piece.

I watch as she struggles with lacing up the boots, finding myself smiling. I'll do anything to keep her happy. Anything....

And she wants him so badly….

On the other side of things- I want him to have her. I want to save him… save him in a way that I failed to do while we were alive. He deserves that much, at least. I want to give him this... this thing he's wanted so badly for so long. Just one chance to interact with her. To feel how much she cares for him.

But to do that... we need to find him. “Darlin’… you haven’t really told me how we’re going to find him.”

She nods a little solemnly. “It’s… hard to explain really. I think I felt him the first time because he wanted to be felt…. He was alone you see- in the dark. He had no place. Just one of those who find themselves adrift... We call it the 'void'.”

“Okay…”

“It was like a dream, Logan. Like he was sleeping. He called out so purely. Like he knew I would hear him. I followed his noise… it got closer and closer… and then it was gone. He was gone. I’d walked for days, listening.”

“You… ‘heard’ him?”

“Yes.” She nods. “I do not hear his song now though. He has not had time to wish it….”

“Because…”

“That monster has him. He will give him no spare time, if he is wise. If our son were to call out in the correct way… if he were to think about it hard enough…. we could hear him. We could find him…. failing that… I will retrace my steps to where he was the last time.”

“I thought you said he was ‘adrift’ last time. Now he’s not. He’s with someone.”

“He’s been found by someone.” She corrects. “Like I found you my love. Your song was just as loud as his… but different. His cries out in pain. Yours was peaceful. As if you were talking to me. Calling to me.”

“Ah. That’s how I got here.” Mystery solved. 

She found me. 

“You would have developed your own eternity if given the time.” She assures. “I just happened to find you before then.”

“So Daken-“

She hisses.

“I’m sorry; our son, he’s been taken to someone else’s ‘eternity’?”

“Romulus has been creeping in the shadows for a long while. Others have spoken of him…. the rumors are not pleasant.” She sighs. "It would seem that he has carved out his own eternity through means that are not completely clear to outsiders."

“You… you’ve talked to others?” I ask. "Through the well?"

“In passing.” She nods before smiling. “You have much to learn, my love. Not to worry, I will teach you.” She offers her hand. "Let us go."

I take her hand and let her guide us out of the house. We stand in the front yard, looking at the trees for a second.

“Which way?” I ask her with a smile.

“Follow me.” She keeps my hand in hers and walks in front, checking behind her to see that I’m coming. “There is no need for caution on this part of the journey.” She assures. “I will tell you when our guard needs to be raised.” ‘

“Alright.” I can’t help but keep smiling. She looks so good in charge. It’s like she’s lost some of her general meekness.

A thought of momma bears pops up into my head.

This is a momma- She’s lost her cub.

I’ve seen this woman angry a hand full of times. I like to think of Romulus coming onto the wrong side of that anger. I fear to think of them together- though. If it comes to that, I will do everything in my power to keep it from happening.

“He will need mending when we find him.” She says thoughtfully.

“He’ll heal.” I assure.

“I’m not talking about physical mending. His song was quite clear the last time. His wounds are not of the physical nature.”

“And..”

She glances back at him. “And, I will do what mother’s do. I will mend my baby.”

She keeps saying that… “Itsu… I want to warn you… he’s not like you. He’s like me. He’s… rough.”

“He’s hurt. He will appreciate my help.”

Because appreciative and Daken are two things that I always associate together.

“He’s not going to see it like that honey. I just don’t want you to be…upset. When you meet him.”

She shakes her head. “I have seen him. I know how he is. I KNOW he will be grateful.”

I stop. “How? How do you know that?”

She pulls at my hand. “I spied on him while you were sleeping.”

“You…”

“It’s horrible to watch…. Him ensnared by that beast. He called for me. He spoke of me so clearly- that monster uses me to taunt him. As if taking me from him in life wasn't bad enough." She growls. "I suspect that he's done this before. I hate to think that I've been the method for my poor baby's suffering." She looks down. "He needs me.” She looks up at me through guarded eyes. “He needs us, Logan.”

Swallowing down the fact that my gentle wife is seeing Romulus’ work first hand, I nod. “Of course, darlin’. Of course. One big happy family.”

She nods. “I’m glad you’ve said that my love. For before I found you, I followed a song not so different from yours. And spotted a person I find most intriguing.”

“..What?”

She smiles. “You’ll see.”

“Itsu-“

“Stop wasting time, my dear.” She chides. “We don’t have a lot to spare. We’ve got a long way to go.”

“…. But the songs- the songs. Why haven’t I heard-“

“You will hear this one the closer we get, I promise.”

“…So we’re not going to Dak-“

“No.”

“Our son,” I correct. “We’re not going to him first?”

“No. We are going to have the whole family together.” She smiles, still tugging on my hand.

“Baby, we only had one child.”

“I,” she corrects, “Only had one child. YOU have seem to acquired another.”

“…No.”

She nods. “I’ll take you there.”

It can’t be. It can’t.

Why…. how would she know? Why would she be so willing…?

“I love you dear.” She says playfully, “But you get this most sour look on your face when you concentrate too hard.”

“Sorry.” I smile at her. “You’re just…. So much more amazing than I remember you being.”

She laughs. “Well I am close to a hundred- you know. I know things I did not before.”

Of course. She knows things.

Walking through eternity which is neither heaven nor hell with my long lost wife going after ‘songs’ we can hear of the recently deceased to find my estranged son, who’s also recently deceased- and she knows things.

Inhale.

Well that makes one of us.

And one is a whole hell of a lot better than none.


	5. Exhale and Cringe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abuse and torture in this chapter.  
> A few brief things with vomit (I always tag this because personally, puke grosses me out)  
> This is another one that's been updated. So thanks for reading!

… How long have I been here?

There are no clocks. No windows.   
  
No escape from these chambers. Or, for that matter, the pain. 

This pain it....… it never stops. I feel that it will never stop. I've gotten to a point where it is all that exists. I writhe in agony and sorrow on a daily basis. It's become the norm. I think if the pain were removed- I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Maybe this is just how it's got to be. Maybe this will get better. Maybe I'll become numb. Numb would be a nice change. 

I’ve had to stifle my screams- there's too much pain associated with them. Each noise pulls at the stitches, forcing me to swallow blood and drown a little. And I scream so often.... my chin is a mess of blood- my lips all but torn around the thread. It's been weeks. Weeks of this torment.

Weeks. That's how long it's been.   
  
Weeks since I woke up. 

Weeks since I died. 

Weeks since anything made sense.   
  
Romulus was gone. Not dead- gone.   
  
Now he's here.   
  
And here means he's dead.   
  
But he doesn't seem to be suffering like the other dead people. I don't know how eternity works- I really don't. I haven't seen any higher power since I got here. No angels. No demons. Just.... us. I find it hard to believe with any of his deeds Romulus would be granted paradise. But he seems to have done just that. It doesn't make sense to me. 

He’s laying in the bed-the large bed. The same one he’s forced himself upon me in countless times.

Laying in it gives me intense panic. I hate that bed. I hate it with every fiber of my being. It's deceptive in its comfort. The blankets are soft- but they might as well be sand paper when I'm laying on them.

The room is lit dimly by two fire places. One in one part of the room, one in the other.   
  
The sheets are cotton, but the blankets are fur. They smell of smoke and timber. Woods.   
  
A taunting smell. The smell of something familiar.   
  
I hate it. 

I lay in bed, under him, smelling that smell- and I hate it. 

Romulus is sleeping right now. He can actually sleep. He's earned the right.

I haven't earned the right- so I don't.

He leaves me in pain when he's done for the evening. I can always tell when he's ready to stop- because the last act is always the cruelest of the day. Something for me to nurse until morning... something to assure that I won't be sleeping.

I try to breathe through the massive amounts of pain he’s put me in.

Pain that never stops. Pain that never fades. Pain that lasts and lasts and lasts until I'm not sure there was a time before.   
  
I mean, logically, I remember it. I do. I had a life. It wasn't dark. There was light. There were other people. 

But now? Now there is pain. Hopeless helpless painful moments that drag into more hopeless helpless painful moments. 

He blocks my healing at night- I've no clue how. He won't tell me. He just laughs and laughs- rubbing my face in it.

He fucks me up and then refuses to let me heal until morning. He says it’s endurance.

I pray for death. Every night laying in the same spot I'm in now.... on the floor in the outside room by the fire place. I was surprised to find a second room when he let me up from the bed. In a weird way- there's even a door. I.... I think there's more to this eternity than these two rooms- but I'm not sure.

Sometimes in this room, when he knocks me to the ground, I make up excuses to lay here- I look at the crack under the door. There's light. There has to be something more. There has to be.   
  
Part of me.... 

No.   
  
It's best to even voice that. Even in my head. My thoughts are surely not my own. Someone is listening. Someone has to be. Romulus knows too much of what I'm thinking. I refuse to believe it's because he knows me that well. No. That's too easy. Too simple. It's something else. Something sinister. 

When I'm not looking under the door- I look at the fire. 

I watch the fire at night and pray for death..... But I don’t die. The dead can’t die.

Sometimes when I look too hard at the fire- I end up in the fire. That seems to amuse him. 

The ailments I suffer differ from day to day. Head injuries are usually for days when he doesn't really feel like beating me. A few solid  blows to the head go a long way. Gutting and skinning are his usual methods. His ' go to' tricks- if you will. 

My stomach… that's my aliment tonight. It's been clawed open. I see bits of organs strewn over what’s left of the flesh. Other than that it's just a large cavity through which I can see the bloody mess of my insides.

This is hell.

This is eternity.

Inhale.

Choke on the stench.

I wish… I wish someone was with me. Someone- anyone. Someone to soothe the pain.

In this moment of weakness I want nothing more than the comfort of physical contact with someone. Contact that is gentle. Caring.

Like the embrace of a lover.

No… greater than a lover.

But… what can be greater than a lover? Someone who’s not going to use me.

It’s more than violation at this point. I feel drained. I fell like there’s nothing left of me. Like at any moment my own mind will cease to be.

I wish for someone to stop this.

Anyone. 

Even if only just for a minute or two. Long enough for a small break. 

Someone like Laura. Her touches weren’t sexual. But they weren’t placid either. They were… calming.

She was gentle with me. She showed me a level of kindness that I hadn’t seen in years. And I never got to thank her for it. I... wish I would have. I regret not telling her how much she did for me. How... human she made me feel.

God, someone. Anyone.

Please.

Please!

Make this pain stop! I'd give anything to not be in pain! To rest... oh to rest. To actually sleep. I'd trade anything- anything.

I feel tears on my face again. I’ve got zero strength to stop them.

On the bed, he snores loudly. So comfortable. So assured in my compliance.

I can’t prove him wrong.

I’m terrified- like I was when this began. A frightened child. Wailing for a man who couldn't care less.

He’s so... much when he’s angry.

So… abusive? Is that the right word? Can one be abused in eternity?

My face pulls in a grimace. I accidentally tongue the stitches again. They feel wrong. They feel foreign.

I focus on myself. What's going on? What do I feel other than the pain? What can I focus on..... I think and think and all I find is that I’m.. hungry. Again. I'm either focused on the pain or the hunger. It's always one of the two

Yes. Pain filled and hungry.

I can still smell the lingering scents from where he was eating today. Because god forbid he miss a meal. Even in eternity.

A castle. He has a castle- he told me so.

All of his deeds… and he gets a castle.

All of my deeds and I get him.

He has servants. They wait on him. What kind of eternity is that for them- I wonder? I'd like to speak with them- but I've only ever seen one. And my mouth was sewn shut so I couldn't talk to him.

Someone hates me.

God.

Someone. Please.

Hold me. Comfort me.

Take it away.

Take it all away.

Ex-

There is no exhaling. All my breathing has to be done through my nose. Crying makes this worse- I know that. Logically I know that...But I can’t seem to stop.

The pain is unbearable. It defies logic. I can't outthink it.

I feel like I’ll be sick. It might be my imagination, but I can almost see acid pumping through my guts.

Vomiting is an episode I’d like not to repeat- though

I’ve drowned on my own vomit twice already. But I can’t die. I can’t. So I drown. I drown until there’s nothing left. And then I stop drowning.

Don’t let me be sick again.

Please. I’ve got to try to stay well. Deep breathes would help- but I can't do that because I've been crying and made a mess of myself.

I can feel the acid crawling up my throat.

I can’t be sick again.

Please don’t let me get sick again!

A muffled sound escapes my mouth. I'm not going to be able to stop this. It's going to happen again.

If I could… just open my mouth. My lips part uselessly around they're confinement.

The pain is lightning fast.

My mouth… just open it a tiny bit… there. I breathe as much as I can and jerk my mouth open as far as it will go.

Just in time.

My vomit messily, a small bit of it making it through the stitches. That’s all I needed. Just enough not to drown.

It's a disgusting stench. Worse when the parts that don't get spit are swallowed.   
  
I feel vile. Disgusting. I am fility. 

“Disgusting.”

My whole body freezes- mid wretch. I didn't hear him wake. I should have been listening for him! Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why am I always so stupid? 

He's always telling me that. 

He asks for things I can't recall. Things it would take a genius to figure out. 

And I can't do them. 

Puzzles. Quests for knowledge.   
  
I'm beaten for my uselessness... and I still can't get it right.  

“This is why we can’t feed you- you know.”

No. No. None of my torment is my fault. Please don't blame this on me... please master. I can't shoulder anymore blame.

It's always my fault. 

I didn't do it right. I failed. I answered incorrectly. I wasn't strong enough. 

It is always... ALWAYS.... my fault. 

“If you were to carry yourself with more dignity, then you would not suffer so.”

I feel another wretch coming on. But I can’t do it in front of him. Not after his last remark.

“Feeling ill?” He cards his claws across my scalp. “Poor, poor Daken. Would it help you if I freed your mouth?”

This is a trick. It’s s a new torture. A new game.

“Would you like me to help you?” He asks in a gentle tone. “Speak now, Daken, I’ll not ask again.”

I nod furiously.

“I can’t quite make that out.” He chuckles.

I all but scream against my confinement, the action causing more blood to drip from my lips and mix in with the vomit

“That, however, was clear.” He takes a claw to my mouth and painfully starts to pop the stitches- string by string.

“Better?”

“Yes.” I pant, voice hoarse from disuse. “Yes. thank you. Thank you, Master.” Everything hurts. I have to spit and wretch messily. It hurts even more so when he pulls my head up and starts to actually remove the string.

A few whimpers leave my mouth. 

"Silence." He says, concentrating on the string. 

I close my eyes. 

My stomach churns. 

He pats my head, fingers carding through my tangled hair. 

My hair hasn't grown since I've been here. I haven't needed to shave the sides. Or shave my face. Nothings changed since I died. 

I get sick again- quite suddenly. 

Romulus continues to stroke me while I'm leaned over. 

"You're going to clean that up." He says. I can't read his tone. 

I nod jerkily. 

"I can't for the life of me figure out why you insist on making such messes." He berates. "Honestly, it was far simpler when you would just swallow it."

I fell like I’ve got nothing left in me when I’m done.

"I'm sorry." 

He pats me again. "Of course you are." 

I am sorry. I'm pitiful. 

He drops the blood stained string from his hand to the floor, standing there patiently. “Your mouth is freed. Do with it what you wish. No need for you to suffer- right?”

“…”

What? 

... he doesn't want me to suffer? 

"Boy?" 

But... I'm supposed to suffer. 

"..." 

I can't think of a thing to say.   
I know he's asking me a direct question... and that ignoring him is simply not an option. But... I don't have anything to say. 

“I take your silence as a testament to your confusion. Surely you do not think that I intentionally wish ill upon you.”

“….”

“Ah. I see that you are confused. I aim to teach you. To sculpt you. In our time apart you have forgotten your lessons. Surely you can not be blamed for such a thing.”

...It's not my fault? 

But...everything is my fault.   
He told me.   
  
What lesson is he teaching me now? What fucked up sort of kindness has made him act like this? 

Is it because he's tired? I did wake him. I bet he heard my crying. It was almost impossible to miss.   
The vomiting is rather noisy as well. I half expected him to be in a foul mood. 

Maybe it's morning already. Maybe it's time to get up for the day. 

“Master?”

Clarify. Please. It's not my fault? It's not my fault? Why isn't it my fault? 

“Yes?” He looks at me in a patient way. As if he suspects that I'm going to need to be helped along to seeing his train of thought... he reminds me of how he looked at me as a child.

“Please.” I whimper. “I don’t know this game.”

Why is he being so... nice? To me? 

Has it all been some prolonged sort of endurance test?   
Have I passed? 

Do things get easier from here on out? 

He grins a ferocious grin, putting his hand back on my head and doing an odd sort of pressing motion that keeps on the ground. “Why Daken, you act as though I’m going to hurt you.” His strength seems to suggest that he is.

My body cringes. I try to curl up as small as I can go. Less mass… less pain. The logic seems sound. “…aren’t you?” I whisper. The chill of the room cancels the warmth of the fire. I wish I still had my costume. I wish it hadn't been taken from me.

“No, quite the contrary in fact. I was going to put you to sleep. It’s been a few weeks now- You need rest. Uncurl yourself. Sit up straight.” He waits for a second. “Now, Daken. I want to speak to an adult- not a cringing child. Can we have an adult conversation?” He removes his hands from me and starts to walk over to the fire, turning his back to me.

“Yes master.” It hurts to do as he asks. Blood sloshes onto my lap. 

“Good. Then we can converse on the subject of you failing to sleep at night.” He says in a pleasant tone.

“But… but-“ You won't let me. How can I if you won't let me?

“But nothing.” He interjects. “I give you the time to rest and you repeatedly refuse it. One starts to wonder if this is a childish attempt to make me suffer…. If you’re aiming to punish me with your actions.”

“Nnn-no!” I stammer. “No! The pain- the pain keeps me awake.”

“And have you not been taught how to deal with pain?” He implores, back still turned to me.

“Yes.. yes. I’m sorry.” My fault. This is my fault. If I'd just retained my lessons... if I hadn't been so weak....

Inhale.

Back peddle and apologize like a mad man.

"I'm sorry." My chest is tightening. "I'll do better. I'm sorry."   
  
I'll have to sleep.   
  
he's been giving me time to rest, and I've been stupidly refusing it. 

I am worthless.   
I am so fucking.. just... stupid. 

"A wise man would sleep when he got the chance." Master says. "Since you're in the midst of your molding." 

Molding. 

Training. 

"I'm sorry." I repeat. "I'm so sorry. I'll sleep." 

I'll sleep. I'll sleep when you tell me. 

Don't hurt me.   
  
It's my fault.   
It's all my fault.   
Please.. don't hurt me. 

"You still require rest, as I'm sure you've noticed." 

I just nod. "Of course." 

  
He keeps his back to me. "Have you noticed that, Daken? Have you been intelligent enough to gain awareness of your situation?" 

  
Yes. Yes I have. I promise. 

"Ye-"   
  
"Don't lie to me." He growls. 

But.. I'm not.   
  
"I did-"   
  
"Boy." he growls again.   
  
One word. One word and stirs every fear I've ever head into a whirlwind in my mind. 

"I'm sorry." I don't know. I know nothing. Of course I know nothing. "I'm sorry, master." 

“You are forgiven.” He says in an almost pleasant manner. “Though the fact that you need rest is still evident. You’re sounding very weak right now. Would you appreciate some rest?”

“Yes.” Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. rest. Rest. I need rest. “Please.”

“Are you done vomiting?”

“…Yes.” I’m empty. The floor and myself are covered… but I’m empty. Empty of everything. I want him happy. If he’s pleased then the pain will lessen. Eventually, like in the old days, he’ll tell me how to feel. He’ll replace the pain with something else.

“Then we shall have to clean you before you are permitted to sleep in the bed.”

The bed? I don’t want to be in the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor. I’ll sleep in the dirt. Anywhere. Anywhere but the bed.

“The bed?”

He nods, grinning as he turns around to face me. “That is where people sleep, Daken.”

“I can sleep on the floor.” I gush. “Then I wouldn’t have to be cleaned.” Yes. Make this seem like it’s his idea.

"The floor? Like a dog?" 

I nod.   
  
"And are you a dog?" 

I shake my head. "N-no." 

"You're not?" 

I shake my head again.   
  
"Then you'll not be sleeping on the floor." 

I... "I just don't want to take up any of your time." I gush. 

“No, I think the bed is very much called for.” A game. We're playing a game. He does not seek to help me. It's a false pretense. Fuck.

“…Master?”

This is my fault too. 

I wasn't smart enough to pick up on the fact that we were playing.   
How may errors have I made in my ignorance? 

He raises an eyebrow. “Are you… afraid of the bed, Daken?”

“No,” I lie. “No.”

"Are you lying again?" 

"No. no, Master. No."

"Becuase what we do should be seen as an honor..... yet here you are...." 

"I'm not lying."

It should be seen as an honor.

The fact that he wants to share my body.  
The fact that he wants anything to do with my body in the first place. 

This is my fault. 

"There are others I could share my bed with." he presses. "More... attractive people. Someone of your.... stature should be beyond happy that I've chosen you." 

I am not attractive.   
He's not been shy about this.   
I may have used to be... but something's changed. 

It's the arm and the eye. 

He makes sure I know this. Of course he does. My looks used to be a weapon. Now... my hideousness will have to be the same. he seeks to teach me. I am unwanted now. Anyone who sees me will think so. 

"You should be honored and not fear the bed in the slightest. You should be HAPPY to give yourself to me. Be HAPPY that I even want you." 

"I'm not afraid. I am honored. I am happy." 

He smirks. “Then you’ll have no problems falling asleep.”

The order is to sleep. that's the game.   
But I won't be able to in that bed.   
If I don't sleep- He'll become angry.   
  
And honestly, and truly, that will be my fault too. 

“…Washing me would take up your time-" I try again. "Please-" 

“Shush. I’ll hear none of your begging. This is a reward. You will follow me and do as I say. Because I know better than you- don’t I Daken?”

No. No he doesn’t.... does he? “…Yes.”

“And you’ve become a very thoughtless thing- haven’t you? More animal than person at this point.”

“….”

“Daken?” He presses

“Yes.” It kills me. 

Animal? Unintelligent, unwanted, unattractive, and now animal? 

Is there anything about me that is worthwhile? 

“Good. And animals have to be trained- don’t they Daken?”

No... no. no. I’m not an animal. Please- that's the last thing I have. 

“I’m.. not an animal.” I try weakly.

He chuckles. “But you’ve just said that you were. So now you’re either an animal… or a liar. Are you trying to lie to me boy?” The last is growled.

“NO!” I stammer quickly. “Of course not.”

“Then you are an animal in need of training.”

It kills me. I'm not an animal. I'm a person! “Yes.”

“Yes?”

I nod. I feel so violated. “Good. Stand up, and follow me.”

NO. no. no. My body is screaming. I can’t move.

“I can’t.” I whine, looking down at my exposed innards, trying to get him to remember what he's done to me.

“You can’t?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Please, there's a... I've been wounded." I settle for. "I can't walk.”

“I don't care about your little paper cut." He snarls. "Move, Daken.”

“I can’t.” My head is killing me. “Please, I can’t.”

“Move.” He insists.

“Please-“

“Such a parrot.” He chuckles. “Is that all you’ve learned- begging? Do you seek to sway me Daken? You'll have to try harder than that.” He laughs again.

“Please help me. Please. I will obey.” Words aren’t stringing together like they should.

“I will not help you if you do not obey me. MOVE.”

He won’t stop. Not until I’ve proved my uselessness to him. My body screams. I take my hand and place it over the wound, literally holding my insides in. Leaning forward to try to rise to my feet, I end up collapsing, driving my head to the stone floor with a sickening crack.

He bends down in front of me. “That was pathetic.”

“I can’t.” I whimper. “It’s too much.”

“How can I possibly help you if you refuse to help yourself?” He chides.

“Please, help me.” I feel myself crying again.

He sighs. “Oh Daken. Daken, Daken, Daken. What are we going to do with you?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yes.” He agrees. “I’m quite sure that you are. Useless and sorry. An unruly animal who can't be bothered to obey even the simplest of orders.”

“I’m so sorry.” My face is a mess. 

Ugly. 

This is my failure.   
This is my fault.   
  
I can't do it. 

I'm not strong enough.   
  
My fault. It's my fault. 

He taps his finger on the back of my bowed head. “We’ve covered that.”

“Please.” More tears. He’s so close. Those claws.... I fear those claws. He moves so quickly... and he's so much bigger than me. Even without them he could give me a severe beating. With them - it's like insult to injury.

I’m not a threat to you. Please master. I am of no consequence. I mean nothing. Less than nothing. Leave me be. Grant me the permission to lay in the dark. Like last time. The loneliness will not bother me this time. I swear it.

I am nothing. I should not matter to you.

“Try again. Stand up.” He orders. "I'll give you a reward for your obedience."

“I can’t.” Why? Why must you punish me while speaking your kind words? Why must you use that tone while asking things of me that I cannot deliver?

“NO- you can but you won’t. I’m telling you that you have to. ‘No’ is simply not an option when I give you a command. Now Stand up.”

“Please, mercy.”

“Mercy?" He snorts. "I’m granting you mercy and you’re trying my patience boy." He chuckles after that. " Now stand up or I will be forced to gut you again.”

I find my way back to my knees, my whole body trembling from exertion.

“Good.” He praises. “Now up.”

I’m too light headed. I’m going to fall again. He’s… he must know that I’m going to fall.

“Very good.”

I open my mouth and vomit again. There’s blood in it. So much blood.

“You deserve a reward for your obedience. For you have been very obedient, haven’t you boy?”

“Master?” A reward. I’ve done well. I’m being praised. I like being praised.

“That’s what one does when training an animal- isn’t it? Is that how I should gain your willingness?”

Oh no. No. I’m a person. He can’t train me. I can’t be ‘trained’. I’m a person. Please. I’m a person.

“Come here.” He stands to his feet and motions to the table he was at earlier today. “Come sit.”

But… clean. Bed. I want rest. He said rest. That was my reward.

The steps are excruciating. The table seems forever away.

“Very good.” He continues to praise. “Here.” He pulls a chair for me. It’s heavy and wooden. I sit down with a thud. “Give me your hand.”

“My stomach…”

“Forget your stomach. Give me your hand.”

My hand is covered in blood and gore. I give it to him, feeling my insides droop outside of the cavity in my stomach.

“Take this.” He presses something into my hand. My fingers are numb as they wrap around it.

“What-“

“A fork, Daken. We’re eating now.”

Eating? No rest. No food. Rest.

Blood… so much lost.

There are no spots in my vision though. Were we in the physical realm….

I can’t even finish that.

My hand is grasping weakly at the utensil. He aims… to feed me?

“Can I.. go to bed? I'll lay on the floor.” I point with the fork in my hand.

“Meals are important.”

“I'll lay on the floor.” I try again. "I'll be quiet. I'll sleep. You won't have to bother with me." 

I am not worth the time or effort. 

“In time.”

I can’t eat. My insides are on my outside. It will be excruciating.

“What lesson is this?” I try to keep my head from rolling on my neck. But I don’t have much left. I am grateful to be able to talk and breathe. I am.

But I don’t want to learn anything else today.

“No lesson.” His voice is so deep. So guttural. “You haven’t eaten since I found you.”

“Found me?”

“Yes.”

“Where was I?” I plead.

Information?

He smiles. “You were in the dark. Crying. Lonely. I told you I would be with you. It only makes sense for me to have taken you.”

I…

This isn’t my eternity?  
“Dark?”

This... isn't my eternity. 

“You’re losing the ability to formulate sentences.” He says clinically. “Maybe it’s time you learn a few new phrases, parrot.”

“Dark?”

“Yes,” He pulls a plate in front of me. “You were in the dark.”

“W-where?”

“It doesn’t matter. I will show you when you are properly trained.”

“Dark.”

“Yes.” He growls impatiently. "You were in the dark.... have I hit you too hard? You've seemed to have left your intelligence on the other side of the room. If you're not careful I'll have you go retrieve it." He threatens.

“Not here.”

“What are getting at boy?” This is said in a lighter tone.

Dare I push this? 

“There-“ There are more places. There are more places to go. I can get away. I can be free! This isn’t my eternity! I wasn’t dammed to this!

I was…

“Ah. That's what you're on about." He snorts. "You’ve discovered that there are more locations than your current one. I find it amusing that this surprises you. Surely you would have figured out that the afterlife did not solely consist of this room…. Surely you’ve noticed I’ve been gone. And you’ve deduced that there are others here. You’ve seen my servants, of course.” His dark eyes lock on to mine. “Tell me Daken, what’s going on in that pitiful excuse for a mind. I taught you better than this. You should have observed your surroundings the first moment you awoke here.”

 This is my fault.   
  
It's all my fault. 

Is he… have I made him mad? No. NO. I’m being rewarded.

But… I’m not?

If I eat, I’ll be in pain.

But I won’t be hungry anymore. Is that a reward? The end of my hunger?

Or is that a hidden punishment in the guise of a reward?

“I had someone bring in more food whilst you were in the other room.” He continues. “Eat, simpleton. You’ll need your strength.”

“I-“

Simpleton.   
  
I have proven my stupidity- once again. 

The food doesn’t look bad. It looks simple. Prison food. Bread.

I would have preferred rice. But that wouldn’t be good for my injuries.

“Thank-“

“No need.” He puts a hand on my shoulder. “Do not move from this spot until it is gone.”

And he leaves.

Reward. Yes. I’ve done well. I’ve been obedient.

I…

My lap is covered in blood. I feel it dripping down what’s left of my clothing. Soaking through the fabric.

Things go a little gray. “…Master?” I doubt he can hear me. I barely hear me.

I feel sick again.

I try to lean away from the table, but my head is light, I have to quickly grab the table in front of me to keep the room from spinning. After a moment of uncertainty, I vomit into my lap.

“…Mercy?” I try again."Please. Master- please I-"

“Eat.” He growls from the other room. “We have things to do tomorrow. Hurry along.”

But I can’t.

I-

“You have proven to be most disappointing today, Daken.” He growls from behind me.

“…I’m sick.” I feel tearful again.

“No. You’re weak.”He growls. 

“…sick.” I groan.

This is my fault. 

It's all my fault. 

“If you’d like to play the helpless patient, however,” He continues. “I can happily oblige you.” I don’t see him, but I can sense his movements. His claws come through my chest, having been pushed through my back. Three holes. One in the stomach. One in the back. One in the chest.

Blood flows from my mouth and I slump to the floor, pushing the chair from behind me with a loud screech.

This isn’t death. This can’t be death.

He sighs impatiently above me.

“Well…. look what you’ve done.”

This is my fault.

I feel like crying…. But I do so silently this time. I don’t understand this. I’ve been gone too long and I don’t know how to play his games anymore.

“I’ll have to call someone in to collect you. You're not worthy of my time.”

Collect me?

“You can’t lay on the floor all night…. though it would serve you right.”

“NNgh.”

“Oh shut up.” he growls. “You’ve done enough today. We should throw you out in the yard… with all the other dogs.”

No.

I can’t- he can’t.

More tears.

“Alright.” He nudges my shoulder with a massive foot. His toe nails are just as sharp as his fingers. He aims to hurt me again.

“Stop.”

Choke.

In general.

Choke on blood.

Choke on tears.  
Choke on left over vomit.  
Just choke.

Choke and die.

I move my arm to cover my chest. So much blood… I don’t know where to start to try repairing.

The door opens to the room. Outside smells.

“Take him out of my sight.” He growls.

“Sire?”

“I don’t care where. Take him and leave him. No one is to interact with him. Anyone who does will go to the dungeon.”

No. Alone. He’s going to make me be alone.

“I’m sorry.” I try, tearful. "Master, I'm sorry. Please- I'm.." he's staring from over me. " I'm sorry." 

“More phrases, parrot.” He snarls. “Learn them in your absence. If you’ve nothing more to say we ought to just sew your mouth shut again.”

I can’t even defend myself.

“His wounds…” The man who's joined us asks. 

“He’ll heal in the morning.” Romulus says in cold indifference. "No one is to touch them. No matter how much the fool wails." 

"Yes, sire." The hands that grab me aren’t exactly gentle. But they belong to this massive beast of a man. He does me the courtesy of actually lifting me from the floor.

Lifting.

He doesn’t want to drag me.

He pulls me into his arms and I’m more thankful for the contact than I should be.

When we’re through door, it’s almost as if he’s cradling me.

I find my hand grasping at the man's clothes. 

Out of the room. Into a hallway. A hallway. With many more rooms. Large ceilings overhead. And rooms. So, so many rooms. 

“You really ought to try harder not to upset him.” The man says quietly. 

Torches pass overhead.

Where… where are we going?

“He's going to ruin you . You could ease some of your suffering if you please him.”

Please him? How? 

"H..how?" 

"By thinking." The man says gruffly. "Think before you act." 

"Think?" 

"Can you still think?" 

I nod. 

I can't even work up the nerve to be offended. 

"That's the first thing to go- you know." He says wisely. "Your thoughts." 

"First thing to go?" 

We're moving still. different smells... more... people. There are more people! 

"Are you sure you haven't already lost the ability to think? You're very much like a parrot- like he said." 

Like he said. 

  
I am an animal. 

  
A bird, this time. 

Do I prefer it to being a dog? At least birds sleep inside. In cages. But inside. 

"Please-" I start to shake. 

"Shush now. Here,” We stop moving. He lays me down in a small dark space. “At least here you can sleep.”

“Sl-“

“Shh. No words. No one’s going to listen to you anyway.”

But… who are you? Why are you here? Where is here?

“I hope,” the man drawls, “that you will think more on your compliance issues and learn to better appease him. It will be a very long and unpleasant eternity for you if you fail.”

He closes a door between us. One that I hadn’t even realized had been open.

It’s dark… and cold. And small.

I couldn’t sit up if I tried.

Here…. here is better. In the morning the pain will fade. I will be left to my own devices.  
And I will sleep.

Finally.


	6. Inhale and Speed

This place is amazing. It’s like a cross between Japan and the Canadian Rockies. The further we get from the house, the more the scenery changes.

And she’s brilliant in all of it. So much more vibrant than she was in life. Its been like falling in love all over again.

The way she moves it's like she dancing. Happily dancing at that. Jumping over rocks and logs with such glee and freedom that she rarely ever got to use in life. In a fucked up way- death becomes her. She’s stronger than I’ve ever seen her. Radiant in it. Radiant- I keep coming back to that word. It's the only thing I can use that perfectly describes her.

Failing that, I'd have to say determined. She’s on a mission.

....a mission that I know next to nothing about. She's given me the bare bones of the situation. I'd admit that it's not as irritating as it would have been if I was with someone else. She's not doing it on purpose, of course. She's just saving us time by not stopping to explain everything.

Still- even knowing that- going in blind was never my strong suit.

But… she’s got answers. She's dealing them out at a slow pace when she deems it fit for me to know them. I’m starting to wonder if she’s protecting me from lessons that she herself had to learn the hard way. She said she suffered when she first got here. That she was extremely lonely. Maybe that's why she sought me out so quickly. Not only to ease my pain- but her's as well. She's smart like that.

“This way!” She calls happily, jumping over a fallen tree limb.

“Where are we going again?” I take the branch a little more slowly.

Istu smiles brightly. “I’ve already told you my dear…. Can’t you hear it?”

“…Eh no.” It's hard to hear anything here over the wild life. Deer, rabbits, birds- they're all so fucking loud.

“Really?” She pauses. "That's odd."

“…Odd?”

“That song- my love. In the air. It’s so much like yours.” She presses

“And you think-“

I follow her up a small hill, one that's not very steep, but steep enough to where I can't see what's on the other side from my current position.

“I know.” She corrects, as we come to the top of the hill. She’s ahead of me a good little bit and stops in her tracks. I brace myself for conflict, but she turns around smiling. “Here!”

I join her and am surprised.

“Is that…”

“I don’t know what it is.”

There's a large building with even larger black iron gates. The sign in front is rusted away, but I know what it says without looking.

"Do you know my love?"

“It’s a school.” I state in wonder. “One I used to live at.”

“Ah. You're so lucky! Look how big it is!” Itsu smiles again.

"You should see the inside." I mumble, walking up to the gate. "This is crazy."

"I think," Itsu joins me by the gate. ", that it makes sense.”

“Not really…” I raise and eyebrow and turn to her- she's still smiling. Even more now come to think of it. “How would this make sense? We just left a house with no electricity or running water. Now we're at the fucking institute."

“This place,” She soothes, turning to me and taking my hand, “Is different for everyone. This is her happy place- her refuge. You’ve got to stop thinking like a mortal- Logan. You’re not alive anymore. The rules have changed.”

“Her…”

“Your daughter.” She says patiently. “This is where she felt happy.”

“Honey, I think you’re confused.” I try for the millionth time. “Daken is my only child. I never had a da-“

She looks at me expectantly. “But you did. Not intentionally."

.... "How do you unintentionally have a child?"

"I don't know the science of it." She shrugs. "But she lives here... and she’s done wonders for our son. I’ve seen her with him.” She walks briskly through the gates, up the stone path in front, and to the large wooden doors.

The institute. It’s the fucking institute. The tan bricks looking just like they should... the grass smelling freshly cut. The trees looking trimmed and neat- it's too fucking weird.

Every brick… every blade of grass and leaf on the tree… it’s all here.

“This is so big.” Itsu ponders. “I wonder if she’s found anyone to inhabit it with her.” She spins on her heel. “Oh Logan, please tell her to come back with us! I’d hate for her to dwell here all by herself.”

“I don’t know who you’re-“

“Yes you do.” She insists. “She died. Right at the same time our son did. They died together.”

OH! Daughter. Song like mine- gotcha. God I'm slow. “She can’t die.” I insist. And she can’t. Not unless…

Itsu knocks on the door loudly.

We stand there like idiots for a second.

No one comes to the door.

“Hmm… maybe she’s not in.”

“Wait here, darlin’.” If this is the institute… then there’s a spare key…. In the garden. I go around the house and walk into a garden (ironically it was 'Ro's). The plants look watered and healthy even though I'm pretty sure it doesn't rain here. There's a small collection of arranged rocks by the window that looks into the kitchen… Ya. There it is.

I pick up a small hollowed out rock and shake the key out of it. This is creepy in every kind of way imaginable.

“A key?” Itsu lights up when I rejoin her.

“Ya… well I lived here too.” I grumble. “I guess.”

I unlock the door, it’s weight just as it would have been had the place still been standing. It’s like they stole it out of a photograph.

All the furniture… every chair, every light, even the floor… it’s here.

“Hello?” Itsu calls. “Are you in?” Her voice echoes off of the high ceilings. The plush looking set up, the spacious area that surrounds a small seated 'den' that no one liked to sit in, greets her with silence.

She…

“She wouldn’t answer, darlin’.” I inform. “She doesn’t know if you’re a threat or not.”

“But you-“

I clear my throat while nodding. “Laura?”

There’s a noise from upstairs. A fast moving noise- at that. I have just a second to glance up the stairs before she’s running down them, snarl and her face and dark hair flying.

I don’t know what to expect from her, but a fist to the face definitely wasn’t it.

“YOU LEFT ME!” She bellows, taking us down to the floor and ending up on top of me.

“X!” I try to get my hand off to fend off the next hit, but she’s fast.

She’s been practicing.

“You lied to me!” She berates. "You said you wouldn't leave!"

“X please!”

She lands a few more punches.

“Let me fucking explain it!” I try again, losing patience with being a punching bag.

Itsu steps over us and grabs X’s fist from behind. “Dear… I know the feeling, trust me.” She soothes from behind her. “But it’s not as it seems.”

Laura tears her eyes from me and looks at the woman.

“You... you were here the other day.” She sounds accusatory. 

“Yes. “ Itsu nods. "I was." 

“And… you're with him?” Laura nods her head in my direction.

“This is my wife.” I introduce, wiping blood off my face. “Itsu. She's a friend- you can ease up.”

“Your… wife?”

“Ya.” I tap her leg. “Get off of me- would ya? I can explain pretty much everything.”

X looks between the two of us. “Alright.”

She lifts herself from me and stands with her arms crossed. “Thanks.” I get to my feet and try to save some dignity after being decked by a teenager.

“Explain?” She presses, still glaring at me.

“Right…. Well… you’re dead.” I try to break that part first. It’s a little blunt… but it’s the same thing Itsu told me when I ‘woke’ up.

She huffs. “Yes, I figured that part out for myself.”

“Ya… well there. That’s pretty much it. You’re dead, I’m dead, She’s dead. This is it.”

“This is what?”

“The afterlife.”

She blinks a few times. “Oh.” She looks around. “It’s… pleasant.”

“I know right?”

“But… why are you here?” She all but growls.

"Ease off the hostility." I try to sound soothing. "I didn't leave you X. Not on purpose. I meant to come back."

"You shouldn't have gone!" She sounds sad.

I stand there for a second. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't even say 'goodbye'."

Itsu stands there patiently, looking between us. "I know kiddo. It's just how it worked out." I put a hand on her shoulder, happily noting that she doesn't shrug it off. "But it doesn't matter much now- does it?" I smile.

She sighs, looking around. "No, I suppose it doesn't." She looks between Itsu and me. "But what are you doing here, Logan? If this is the afterlife- then why are you in mine?"

“Turns out it’s all one huge place.” I shift my weight from one leg to the other. “Itsu said she followed your ‘song’.”

“My ‘song’?” She asks in obvious confusion. “ But I did not sing.”

“Ya… I didn’t hear you either. But she did. And she followed up to where you are… so…”

“It was beautiful.” Itsu assures, putting a hand on X's arm. “Very strong.”

“Well…”

“You wanted someone to find you.” Itsu insists. “And you sounded like Logan… that’s what I was doing here the other day.”

X shakes her head. “But I died a long time after him. How would you have found me first?”

“Time works differently here.” Itsu smiles. “Laura - was it?”

She nods.

“What a beautiful name.”

“…Thank you.”

"You have such beauitful eyes too!" Itsu smiles at her. "My. You probably had quite a few suitors- didn't you?" 

X looks somewhat pleased with that statement. "A few." She smiles. 

I look between the two of them. “So… the institute?” I push the conversation forward. 

“I was happy here.” She looks around. “It’s been very peaceful. Lonely though.”

Ah. “So… you wished for someone to come find you?”

“…In not so many words.”

“And here we are.” Itsu says gently. “You can come with us. We have the space.”

I look at her. What ‘space’ is she talking about? The house has two rooms. And I know she can’t possibly think that Daken’s going to share with someone else.

“You… are together?”

“Yes.” Itsu smiles. “And we want you to come with us.”

“I…” She swallows. “I can leave?"

"IF you want." Itsu nods. "Do you want to leave here?"

Laura looks around again, green eyes taking in every single sight. "Yes. I do not wish to be alone anymore."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

X looks at Itsu and nods. " But… if you’re here then… and this is all one big place-I have to find someone.” She looks at me almost guiltily.

Itsu spares her a knowing look. “I know. We're looking for someone too.”

“How…”

“My son. He died with you.”

"Your..." X looks at her. “Your-“ She pauses. “appearance has thrown me. I suppose that would explain it.”

"How so?" Itsu asks gently.

"You look very much like him. I have been trying to figure out if that was the case when Logan said you were his wife."

“Ya. This is Daken’s mother. He’s got himself into some trouble.”

Itsu takes her hand. “I hate to ask of you dear, but three people make a better search team than two.”

Laura nods while giving the room a glance over. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt…. This place is peaceful… but I would much rather have the company.... and I was going to find him anyway.” She smiles. "The help would be greatly appreciated."

“Good.” Itsu smiles.

I look at her for a second before she walks over and wraps her arms around me. “I am sorry that I punched you.”

“It’s okay kid.”

“And I am sorry that you are dead.” She continues.

“Ya… you too.”

Laura lets me go. “It happened so quickly. There wasn’t much pain.”

How to respond to that? ‘I’m glad you didn’t suffer when someone killed you’ sounds a little formal.

“That’s good.” That came out awkwardly. Fuck. 

She nods. “So… Daken- Itsu can you hear his ‘song’?”

“No.” The woman walks a small circle around the room, looking highly impressed. “No. He’s been taken prisoner. They haven’t given him a moment to make a song.”

“Oh.” Laura crosses her arms over his chest. "Then it will be harder to find him than it was me." 

“Yes. So we will go to the outer realms…. The darker places.”

“…Hell?” I venture.

“If it were to be simplified in those means… yes.”

Hell. We’re going to hell.

Just another family picnic, kids.

See the sights… fight with a monstrous figure from my past…. Another walk in the park.

“It’s a long way off… we should leave before it gets dark.”

“…Are we walking?” She sounds confused.

I nod. “… Couldn’t get a car.”

She bites her lip in concentration“…. I saw Scott’s car in the garage.” Laura says quietly. “Maybe… we could take that?”

“You…” I turn to Itsu. “You said I couldn’t get a car here.”

She shrugs. “I suppose this is a more modern setting. It would make sense if you think about it.” She leans over and kisses my cheek. “Laura, dear, is there food here?”

“Yes.” She affirms.

“Maybe we should bring some with us.”

Right…. Our food has been coming from me killing deer back at the house. If we brought some with us, it would save time on me having to track down critters.

“I’ll take you to the kitchen.” Laura offers her hand to the woman. A strange action from her. She’s not normally a people person.

“That would be lovely.” Itsu takes her hand and walks with her out of the room.

“I’m gonna go check out the garage.” I call behind them.

If slim’s car is here… then maybe my bike is too. Just going to note that for future reference.

This place is almost… serene.

So peaceful.

Everything is how it was in my memories… minus the others and the shit ton of kids running all over the place.

The garage even has the smell of motor oil in the air. As if someone had just been in here.

“There you are.” I smile.

Definitely going to note this for future reference.

Not a scratch on it either. My tools are here too.

I walk around the garage and take a look at everything. Sure enough, Slim's car is here. Such a shitty red color too. I really... I mean I've always enjoyed fucking up his things. I really wanna drive it. Just because he never let me.

I stand here for a good ten minutes- just looking. 

It's like a page out of a book of my past. Here. 

It's too wild. 

“… Your bike.” X says with humor in her tone, walking into the garage with a black duffle bag slung over her shoulder.

I laugh a little. “Ya. Before I wrecked it- too. This place get's better and better.”

“… I don’t think that will fit in the car.” She teases.

“Ya…” I sigh. “I figured that. But I can always come back for it.”

“That’s…” Itsu drawls looking at the car. “An odd looking vehicle.”

I laugh. “Wait til you see how fast it goes darlin.”

“… Is that safe?” Her eyes are wide. It's almost funny.

“Safe? What’s it going to hurt? We’re already dead.”

“…. Logan.” She warns.

What? Wasn't that what she told me earlier when I tried to make her stay home? 

“No speeding.” I concede. “I’ll keep it under seventy.”

“Seventy??”

“Ya.” I grin at her. “You ready?”

“How fast does it go?

" A lot faster than you've ever gone." I smile. "Are you ready?"

She sighs. "… I suppose.”

“Good.” I offer my hand to her.

She takes it and we walk up to the car. I let go of her to pull at the handle…. It doesn’t budge. “It’s locked.”

“Then ask for a key.” Itsu says patiently.

“That’s… there’s no way it’s going to work like that.” I’m not asking for a key. That’s stupid. Why…

“Can I have a key to the car?” X says quietly.

Nothing happens for a moment.

“See?”

there’s a small ‘plunk’ from one of the tables near Itsu. She walks over and lifts something shiny towards me. “Is this the key?”

“…I’ll be damned.” Weird. This place goes from amazing to weird in five seconds. I don't think I'll ever get used to it.

Itsu smiles and walks back over to me, holding out the key. “Under seventy.” She repeats.

“Gotcha.”

I open the passenger door for her, watching her very cautiously sit in the leather seat.

. Ironically I note that the car is Scott's Mustang.

“This is that car I was telling you about, Itsu.”

She looks around the inside. “The horse car?”

I chuckle. “Yea. The horse car.”

“It’s… nice. I quite like this.” she looks into the back seat. “They’ll be cramped back there.”

I look back, watching x shuffle into the back seat. “Ya… we’ll see how he’s doing and then try to figure out where to put him.”

“A wonderful idea, my love.”

I walk around the car and slide into the driver seat. Lucky for X and Daken- I'm a good bit shorter than Scott. So they've got more leg room than we originally thought.

“Yup.” I watch X reposition the bag she’s got on her lap. “What’d you get from the kitchen?”

She tucks her hair behind her ear and opens the bag- ruffling through it slowly. “Bread. Water. A coca cola. Some lunch meat.” She pauses. “Also there’s a beer. I got it for you.”

Today just gets better and better. “Okay then. Sounds like we’re ready.”

“As we’re going to be.” She says quietly

I realize that I’ve not told Laura anything about what’s going on. Anything at all.

And she’s just coming. Leaving her own little spot to join us. Just like that.

“X… I’ll fill you in on some things on the way. We’re… well this is going to be difficult.”

She sighs. “Things with Daken usually are.”

Itsu groans from the front seat. “ Please- Can’t we think of something else to call him? Please? For my sake. I can’t refer to him as “daken”. It kills me.”

I look at her and with a soft tone try to explain that that is name. He's never let me call him by anything else. “… Honey, I honestly don’t know what to tell you. That’s his name. He doesn’t go by-“

“Akihiro.” X says simply.

Itsu smiles and nods. “Oh! I like that.” X smiles.

I stare between the two of them in disbelief.. “No, no, no. You can’t just rename someone. That will annoy the shit out of him.”

“I’m not renaming him.” Laura says innocently. “That’s his name."

"Because you said it was or because he told you?" I muse.

"Because he told me." X insists. "His real name is Akihiro.”

“It’s a beautiful name.” Itsu says happily. “I can’t remember what name I had picked out for him now… but this one will do just as well.”

Store that away from future reference- I look back to X, who's still smiling.“Alright. So ‘Akihiro’ has been kidnapped by this man-”

“Romulus.”

“…alright…?” I look at her questioningly. "You don't happen to have some kind of magic well do you?"

She laughs. “No. He talked in his sleep.” She says simply. “Especially when he was drugged. After he lost his healing factor and had his arm ripped off- he was drugged and sleeping almost around the clock.”

“…what?” He's... he's missing an arm? "He lost his arm?"

“And his eye." She informs. "That’s not what killed him, though.” She clarifies. “He lived through that.”

“….”

“It’s a long story.” She sighs. “One involving Mystique, failed experiments, and control words. It’s actually very tedious.”

“Mystique, huh?” So... is that how she died?

Laura nods. “That is how Da-“ She stops. “Akihiro, and I died. She let a creature drain our healing factors… and then stabbed us.”

“That bitch.” I muse.

X chuckles. “She very much was.”

"Who's "Mystique"?" Itsu asks curiously.

"A bitch." I chuckle, turning back to X. “So… what were you doing working with Mystique?”

“Looking for your body.” She says like it's no big deal.

Whoa. “Okay… what?”

“Your body. Mr. Sinister stole it. And then the x-men stole it. It’s been a long rocky road.” She pauses. “However, I am happy to find that my healing factor has been returned me…. originally I was thinking that it wouldn’t do much good… but with the way you’re talking and who it involves, I can see that it will come in use.”

“Death is impossible to achieve here.” Itsu says gently. “But you can hurt. You can suffer gravely.”

“I’m sure… he’s fine.” I can sense why she’s upset.

She shakes her head. “Husband… time here works oddly. Time where he is…. Even this short amount of time he’s been here…. has been at least three months now.”

“…what?” No it hasn't. It can't be.

“His time is different. One of our days equals several of his. Weeks, even. By the time we get there, he will have been suffering for a very long time. Even if it only takes us a few days.”

I resist the urge to growl. I’m frustrated, but she doesn’t like that noise. “Alright. Alright. Got it. His time is moving faster than ours. We’ll just have to move faster than that.”

“And when we get to Romulus?” Laura asks patiently.

I put the key in the ignition and smile as the car jumps to life with a loud roar. “Let me worry about Romulus. You two take care of Daken.”

“Akihiro.” Itsu corrects with a glare.

“Him too.” I grin.

She breaks into a laugh. “Alright.”

“Logan.. I’ve just had a thought.” X says gently. “I’ve not ventured very far from the institute… but I do know that beyond here, the roads are not paved. How do you intend to drive them?”

“Off roading.” I say simply. “I’ve always wanted to fuck up the boy scouts car. This is the perfect way.”

Itsu smiles. “You truly are in paradise.”

“You got it, babe.” I look over at her. “You’re going to want to put on that seat belt…”

She clumsily fools around with the belt. “This?”

“Ya. Put it into the…” I don’t’ know the word for it. “Hold on.” I lean over and fasten it for her. “It’ll keep you from bouncing all over the place.”

“Alright.” She exhales. “Alright.”

“Honey, hold on to something. This is going to be a little shocking for you.”

“Shocking?”

I look back to X. “Got an extra bag in there?”

She bites her lip again. “The lunch meat is sealed, but wrapped in a shopping bag.”

“Good. Give it to Itsu.”

She fishes around in her duffle bag and hands it over.

“What is this for?” Itsu asks tentatively.

“In case you get sick.” I offer her a smile. "This car goes really fast."

“Sick??” She sounds disgusted.

“Ya, sick. You feel like you’re going to be sick, do it in the bag. Okay?”

She glares at me. “That’s very unladylike.”

“It’s that or wear it darlin'. We can’t stop on the side of the road. We gotta get moving. For Akihiro’s sake.” I had the last mainly to end the conversation. It sounds like no matter how long we take we're still going to be too late.

She looks torn. “Fine.” She grumbles. “Fine.”

“Good.” I shift the car into drive. Luckily for us, the garage wasn’t closed. That would be yet another key we had to ask for. “Welp… if there are no more complaints, we should get this show on the road.”

“Under seventy.” Itsu repeats, cautiously, while wringing her hands in the passenger seat.

“We’ll keep it at sixty-five.” I grin, placing my foot down on the accelerator.


	7. Exhale And Listen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hela is the asgardian goddess of the underworld. So, not my character :)
> 
> She's pretty cool if you wanna check her out. 
> 
> Another light chapter, though its a little heavy on the weird.
> 
> Enjoy! Thanks for reading!

It's my fault. 

His displeasure. My suffering. 

It's all my fault. 

I can't fight him. My skills are nothing. My claws are useless. I don't have the full set. What can I really do with just three? Top my depth percpetion being all kinds of fucked up and it's a mess. 

Romulus is everything.... everything to everyone here. We all work under him.   
  
Everyone that is... except for me. I don't work for him. I am beneath him. In a sense, I'm beneath them. 

  
I've been told to make a plan.   
That a plan will save my life.   
  
Someone even mentioned something about me having a spot in Romulus' plans.   
Whatever that means. 

Someone else contradicted that statement by saying I DID have a spot. Before he saw how useless I was. Now he just seeks to break me. 

If that's the case- he doesn't have much further to go. 

I can't fight him. 

No one can fight him.   
  
... that's been something the other people talked about as well. No one being able to take him. 

Some are talking about other people. People outside of the castle.   
  
It took a  moment to get over the shock that there was an outside.   
  
let alone other people who would be interested in what goes on here. 

Everyone I've heard doesn't seem to care for me. 

I've heard myself called some awful things. 

That doesn't hurt too badly. I can take it. It's not like their taunts are keeping me awake at night.   
Yes, it stings- but it's nothing compared to actual torture. 

I finger the splintered fragment of the door in front of me. I can only see it through the slotted grate at the bottom of the door that allows light.

… I think I’m in a closet. Some kind of storage space. I can see feet pass by every now and then.

It’s allowed me to regroup.

Every thought comes back to this - this is my fault. Again and again. My fault. I did this. I did all of this. He hates me. he hates me because of what I do. 

But it’s allowed me rest. I desperately needed rest.

It’s a kindness I didn’t think he’d bestow on me. One I’m sure he didn’t think he was granting.

More than that unexpected kindness, despite Romulus very clear orders- the man who brought me here has not left me alone. He comes by every now and then and says something or another.

And… I’m starting to piece something together.

He does not belong to Romulus. He’s not even supposed to be in this part of ‘eternity’. None of the servants are. They belong to someone else.

Someone very much like Romulus but in a very different way.

He never uses my name. He refuses to even though I’ve told it to him on several occasions.

The last time, he sighed heavily. “If I’m not supposed to be talking to you,” He said patiently, as if he was talking to a child, “How am I going to say your name? As is it looks like I could be talking to anyone in here. He doesn’t know that you’ve been placed here. He doesn’t care to know. Now shut up. Shut up and listen- alright? Be smart. Can you do that?”

I’d answered honestly. I told him I wasn’t sure anymore.

He tapped on the door, strumming it with his fingers. “That,” He’d said carefully, “Is how it starts. Do not let him pull you down. Stay focused. The pain fill fade. The words- the words are different. You can’t believe what he’s telling you- boy. Obviously you can see that he means you ill. You have suffered much- child. Think of that. Think of the pain he has brought you. Don’t you want a way out? Don’t you wish to be free?”

“Then let me go.” I begged.

“Think.” He’d insisted again. “Where will you go? He can find you. He will find you. Think- boy. Think.”

I could have done anything at that moment… but I was speechless.

He sighed. “You’ve obviously already been conditioned. Think for yourself boy. It will only get worse from here if you don’t. He seeks to use you. Find a way to use him.”

“How?” It was all but a whisper.

There was a chuckle. “If I knew that,” He’d drawled, “Do you think I would be serving his meals? I have my own master you know. Think on that. Yours is not the only life being forced into submission.”

“But you’re… so much more than me.” I stammered. “I can barely speak.”

He made a small noise of affirmation. “Don’t speak then. Think. No one is asking you to speak. If you can’t manage it, guard your words. Don’t beg with him. Don’t plead with him. Tell him what he wants to hear.”

“…how?”

“I have to go.” He’d said. “I’ll come back later and try to coach you.”

I’m still waiting for him. I pull my arm closer to my body. I thought this to be hell. If it really were hell… and if hell was as they say it was…. I don’t think I’d be this cold.

How? How can he coach me?

Romulus demands nothing more than utter ruin.

How can I deny him that?

There are foot steps outside my confinement. Heavy ones.

“Where is he?” He growls.

Someone stammers something of ignorance.

He makes a very frustrated noise. “I did not instruct that he be hidden from me.” The foot steps cease by the door. “Ah.”

“He… he’s sleeping.” One of the servants mutter. “He’s not talked to anyone since he was put there…. no one’s talked to him.”

“I can smell a lie, woman.”

“No lie.” She assures.

“Really?”

“Yes, sire.” She stammers.

“What are you willing to wager on that?”

Someone else laughs- and it is an obvious sign of insanity. Everyone else in the room has gone dead silent.

The woman laughing doesn’t seem to care. She claps her hands loudly. “Oh Bravo. Bravo. You’re very good.”

Focusing on her scent- she doesn’t smell scared. Her… she sounds amused. “There’s not much to wager, is there dear lady?” she questions. The woman makes a small noise of confusion. “You’ve taken all there is to give you. I’m sure the poor soul’s master’s hospitality has more than fed you.”

“May I ask what you find so amusing?” He growls. He sounds dangerous. She’ll be in pain. Why can’t she sense her own danger??

“Yes you may.” She chuckles.

They stand silent.

“Well!?” He thunders.

“An answer? You did not ask the question.” More laughter.

“What do you find so amusing??” He all but yells at her.

“You child.” She hisses. “Playing a game you can’t even begin to understand.” Her voice shifts. “Go from here- lady. You will not suffer today.”

Foot steps speed past the door- past him.

The others whisper. I can’t make much of it out… but the woman who is challenging him seems to be someone other than who she said she was. Apparently the others didn’t know about it until now.

“Silence!” He thunders. “Who are you to stand against me??”

“He laughs at you.” She continues, getting closer to the door, laughter dripping off her every word.. “You amuse him. You think this power? This is nothing. You terrify your own broken play things. A child throwing a tantrum. We all laugh at you.”

“You obviously have a death wish.” He snarls

It's a frightening sound.

“I have no death wish, fool. I am death.”

“The last words of a mad woman.” He growls menacingly.

“You can do nothing,” She chuckles. “You have neither the means, nor the power, to hurt me.”

“Silence.” He sounds a little more panicked.

“The dead talk.” She persists. “They speak to one another. And over all- over all in this damned place- he hears. I hear. You are mortal. You are on the same playing field as every other lost soul in the place. And you fancy yourself a ruler.”

“ I’ve said-“

“Raise your hand to me.” She threatens. “You have his fancy, but I have his ear. Let me tell him how you’ve treated his most distinguished servants. Let me tell of your schemes for power- as if he hadn’t already known them. We watch you know-” She hisses, laughter gone. “All of us. We watch and wait. And we plan. Oh do we plan. You… you have become somewhat of a desired item.” She laughs again. “Smart of you to find him when you did. To make a deal. Oh he’s such a fool for a deal. Had you found me- this wouldn’t have had a chance to start.”

What is she talking about? Her voice- her words. Who the fuck is she? Why does she speak to him like this? How does she have this strength?

“Woman-“

“Enough.” She laughs. “Leave the boy. So long as I am here, he is under my protection.”

Romulus laughs loudly. “And how, my lady, do you figure that?”

“Ah.” The woman’s laughter grows deeper. “Ah. ah. So impatient.”

His booted feet move back. “You!”

“Mortal.” She sounds breathless with laughter “He was curious. I shall, however, drop the pretenses.”

“Kind of you.”He growls. "What are you doing here? Who are you under?"

“I am a ruler. You are a child.”

“…”

“Do you know me?”

“Not by name.” He answers in a somewhat calmer tone than before.

“I am Hela.” Her voice moves closer. “The others- people of importance, much unlike yourself- have been talking of you shadow dweller. I disguised myself as one of our acquaintances servants to get a first hand look.”

“And your findings?”

“Inconsequential.” She chuckles. “See… I had feared you had something in the works that would threaten the very system upon which we rule…. Something I brought up with my .... associate Now, Now I see that you are simply another mortal who foolishly seeks to hold onto something he has lost.” New feet come to the grate. Slim black boots with green trim running up the side. A low hanging green cloak comes into view as she moves. “A palace. People to rule. You’re quite ambitious.” The wood shakes a little. “And you’ve even brought your play thing…. so broken. Tell me- does his mind have to be completely gone to serve you? Are all of your followers brain dead?”

Brain dead. 

Now they're talking about me. 

My stomach sinks.

“He.. is of little consequence to this conversation.”

“He… will bring this down around your ears.” She laughs. “His song…. Very loud. People will come looking for him. They will see what you have done and they will punish you.”

He chuckles. “And how can one punish the dead?”

“They will give you to him. Or, if you’re lucky, me. I have seen how you function mortal. I can find means and methods that you yourself could not dream of.”

“And what would an Asgardian find so compelling that she would concern herself with a mortal? Why are you here?”

“Asgardian, mortal, gods, demons- we belong here. There is an order. We’ve let you go for some time… watched you. Observed your methods. Personally I find you tiresome.” Her voice turns away from him. “I like your boy though. I’ve seen him here before. His song- like I mentioned before- was very intriguing for me….”

“…”

“I never had children.” She continues. “None of any importance… this one desires it so badly. ‘Hold me’. it says. ‘Calm me’. screaming for a savior.”

“He’s known to have a bit of a mouth on him.”

“It’s your fault- you know. You made him. And then left him- of all things. Left him in a world where he could do nothing but self destruct.”

I freeze. I can’t believe I’m hearing this. This is something no one in my life has been able to do.

“He… needs lessons.”

“OH I’m sure.” She chuckles. “Oh little mortal,” I doubt she’s talking to him at this point. “Won’t you come with me ? Won’t you allow me to save you from this place? Replace the cruelty with things you cannot begin to fathom?”

“He’s staying where he is.” Romulus growls.

“On pain of what?“ She growls back.

“He’s not a child. You can’t have him.”

“To someone of my years, “ She drawls. “Everyone is a child.” The voice turns away again. “Come with me. Sing for me.”

I… I don’t know what to do.

“OH little one.” She says soothingly. “Won’t you come? Won’t you allow me to comfort you? Is that not what you wanted? Is that not your deepest wish? Someone… a mother. Yes. You wish for a mother. You never met yours in life. You wouldn’t know the difference. Let me take you. I will comfort you. I will give you a life you could have merely glimpsed in a passing dream.”

“…please.” I manage.

“Oh yes.” She soothes through the door. “Your poor broken mind. Such a broken little thing. Come to me. You do not belong here. Come sing for me, child. I will give you rest. I will give you shelter. You will not be in pain.” She pauses. “You do not belong here. He’s stolen you.”

I... don't?   
  
This is my fault. This is all my fault.   
  
her being here... what does that mean for me?

She wants me to go with her.   
  
I.... don't know what to do about that. Part of me wants to go. 

But… something is telling me to stay. Something… like a voice in the back of my head.

“Little one?” She questions. “Are you still there? Speak for me. Do not let him hamper your words.”

“I… can’t.”

Romulus stands still… I don’t want to believe it, I can’t believe it. He smells scared. This woman frightens him.

“You can’t? Oh, dear. My poor little bird. He’s broken your wings- hasn’t he? Broken them to better cage you.”

This is the second person who has referred to me as a ‘bird’. The connection is lost on me and I don’t quite like the comparison.

“Come sing for me. I also have a palace. I will take you to bed that you do not have to suffer in. I know the pain of which he inflicts upon you. A pain that my kind has suffered throughout the millennia. The pain of beauty. You are very beautiful- are you not? Do you really think you should stay and suffer for another man’s lust?”

I'm.... beautiful? She wants me? She cares for me? 

Not.. not an animal. 

Not unwanted. Not ugly. Not stupid. 

Wanted. Cared for. 

“I… please.” It's all I can think to say.

“Oh child, you poor child,” She soothes. “Do not beg. Do not let yourself be so carried with despair.”

“You’ve said what you needed to.” Romulus growls quietly. “Take your leave.”

“OH little bird,” She continues. “Won’t you come with me? No cages- my little one. I will repair you. I will mend your poor wings. It will take time and care that you cannot receive here.”

“You’ve said what needs said.” He repeats. “I revoke you from this place.”

She sighs. “Oh, I suppose I have. And while you are very much in contract with him- there’s not much I can do.” her voice turns back to me. “Oh little one.” She coos. “Sleep. Sleep and he will not harm you. If I cannot convince you- I will not force you.”

I feel myself getting tired and that scares me.

“Yes. If I cannot take you with me… than I can assure that he won’t have you for tonight. Sing for me, my little one. I will listen. When you have had enough- you need but call.”

“…how?”

“Sleep.” She insists. “Sleep. You will know when you are ready.”

“Leave.” He growls.

She laughs again. “I’m going. Be kind to my little one.” She instructs. “For what you give, you shall get three fold when all is said and done.” Things are getting dark. “I look forward to your song- little one. Unlike any I have heard for centuries. Sing for me, won’t you? Sing for me while you sleep.”

Sing… what about singing?

I don’t sing.

I have never sung.

And I know that I sure as hell haven’t since I got here.

“There,” She sighs. “Right there. Oh that’s music. Sleep, my little bird. Sleep.”

“What are you doing?” He growls.

“You cannot harm him tonight.” She chuckles. “I’ve put him to rest.”

Sleep like the dead comes into mind.

Rest… yes. It’s what I wanted.

Rest… and songs… and plans.

Think. Yes. Think.

Come on. This is connected somehow. Who is Hela? Why is she referred to as Asgardian? Why would one of them be in the underworld.

“Oh no.” She murmurs. “NO little one. Not that song.”

“W-w”

“Sleep.” There’s a great soothing quality to her voice. “I’ll not leave until you do.”

Then I won’t. This woman… this Hela…. I don’t know why she is interested in me…. maybe just to spite him. I don’t know… but she’s protecting me. I need that protection.

“Soon,” She coos. “Soon. You will bring this down. You will be free whether you come with me or not.”

“What do you mean?” he growls.

“I mean,” She chuckles. “that you have no power here. You are mortal. A soul. WE have control over the souls in this place. Your game will end. The pieces will crumble. And you will be left with nothing. Less than nothing. You will feel the pain you have inflicted. And… my little bird will bring this to you. In so many ways.”

My eyes are heavy.

I…

“There.” Things are starting to go black. “Sleep my darling.”

If she thinks I have a ‘song’… if this song interests her… Maybe someone else can hear it? Maybe someone can find me….

Maybe that’s why I didn’t go with her.  
Something is saying to stay…. Something is saying that it won’t be long.

But what?

What is telling me this?

Why do I stay with him when she’s offered to take me?

Why-

Sleep consumes me. My thoughts- again- meaning nothing.


	8. Inhale and Follow

She’s been asleep in the passenger seat for a while and it’s been cute to watch.

Only, I don’t know where I’m going… so she should be awake.

Still cute to watch however. 

Impractical... but cute. 

We’re traveling into some kinda fairy tale shit looking woods. Very… odd. And I’ll tell you honestly, I’ve had enough of ‘odd’ for today. I’m almost tempted to stop and rest for the night. We’ve been going for so long… the miracle of the thing, is that the car doesn’t seem to need gas. Which… is odd. But it’s odd in the good way. I can put up with that little bit.

The greenery has died. The trees are all knotted, you can barely see the sky- it’s become twisted. All that’s missing is the big bad wolf. Anyway, following this song through the underworld into a dark ass wood, things are just screaming “STOP”. I’m starting to feel a little stupid for not listening.

“Laura,” I ask without taking my eyes from the dirt road. We all bounce when I hit another tree root. That one was unavoidable. “Shake her- would you?”

“She’s so peaceful.” The girl says gently.

“Well… she’s the only one who knows where we’re going. So shake her.”

X goes to touch her, but Itsu starts before she even touches her.

“Turn here!” She says quickly.

“There’s no path that way- where am I going to turn?“

“Turn!” Itsu grabs the steering wheel and pulls us to the right, sending us down a road so dark it was unnoticeable. One that leads directly into the middle of the woods. I try to pretend that that isn’t a scary thought.

Never been much for fairy tales- but I’m pretty sure this is when things get all bad and ‘morally’.

“Okay… Okay! We’re turning. Let go of the wheel!”

“Go faster.” She urges. “Please, Logan, go faster.”

“What is happening?” X questions with a level of fear in her voice.

“Oh please hurry.” She begs.

I have to flip on the high beams. It’s that fucking dark. That quickly too. This is not a good place. We shouldn’t be here.

She shouldn’t be here.

I shoulda made her stay back at the institute. She’s in danger now- I know it.   
  
We all are. We have to be. Shit's been too good for too long. Something has to happen to shake it up a little. 

“Hurry.” She repeats.

“Honey, we’re going as fast as we can. Any faster I won’t be able to control the car.”

“Not fast enough.” She pleads. “Oh Logan hurry.”

“Why?” I demand, having to keep both eyes on the path.

“That song.” She hushes. “Oh please. He’s suffering. Please- hurry.”

“You can hear him now?” We’re quickly coming up to fork in the path.

“Oh yes. Oh please hurry.” She stops, cradling her head in her hands. “It’s getting closer. Turn!”

“Which way!?”

“Left!”

“Can we slow down?” X calls from the back.

“NO!”

I sigh. “Apparently not.”

“Oh my poor baby.” She’s actually crying. “Oh please, don’t stop. Let me find you. Please let me find you this time.”

Itsu… she hears this. We’re dead… she can’t be hallucinating- can she? No… she lead us to X. She knew where Laura was. She actually hears these things.

“He’ll be fine.” I try to assure.

She shakes her head. “No. He won’t.” She looks at me with those sad, dark eyes, “Darling please. He needs me.”

“I thought he needed ‘us’?” I grouse. I mean logically he knows I’m dead right? If he’s calling for her he could just as easily call for me.

But wait… I can’t hear him.

Like I couldn’t hear Laura.  
Maybe only certain people can hear the other dead. Maybe… maybe that’s why there’s not giant hoards of dead people running about. They stay where they are not really knowing that they can find others.

“He does… but right now- right now he needs me. I feel it. It’s like he’s calling out just for me.”

“Honey,”

“Turn!” She grabs the wheel again.

“We’re going to wreck if you keep doing that!” I yell.

“I’m sorry.” She whimpers. "I'm just trying to find him." 

“Oh, honey.” I soften. “Honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”

“He’s so close.” She whispers. “So close that if I don’t find him this time, I will die of sheer anguish.”

There’s quiet in the car. “Logan.” X says quietly. “Go faster.”

“Wh-“

“Faster.” She presses. “Itsu is genuine in her concern. Go faster.”

I’m starting to notice the two of them teaming up more and more. Apparently, X likes Itsu. I mean I can’t see a person who wouldn’t- but Laura seems to really have taken to her. Almost to the point of the two them creating some little ‘alliance’ that I’m not a part of. I’m starting to think that X would take her orders over mine…. And Itsu seems to be getting very bullheaded as we get closer. I’m afraid she’s going to do something really stupid once we’re there and drag Laura along for the ride.

The woods get even darker as we go on. The road is harder to see.

The car scrapes up against a tree, jolting us a little.

“I forgot how bad your driving was.” Laura comments from the back.

“My driving is fine.” I growl.

“Obviously it isn’t. I’ve seen you wreck so many cars it’s almost comical.”

Itsu tears her eyes from the road to the back seat. “You did missions with Logan?”

X makes a noise of affirmation.

“But.. you’re so young.”

“That school- the place Laura was?- it trained kids, honey. Kids like me. Some of those kids decided to do the hero thing. Some didn’t. But the ones who did were about her age.”

“It still seems awfully young.”

“ya… my school was better.”

Itsu smiles. “I know. I’ve seen it.”

“….How?”

“The same way I saw Akihiro. I’ve seen you a few times since my death as well.”

 

We go in silence for a while. The tires are straining, the car is vibrating, we’re all being bounced around like some kind of demented rubber ball… but everyone seems to be okay with it.

“Stop.” Itsu says suddenly.

“Stop?”

“Brakes!” She presses.

I brake without further hesitation, sending us all forward into the dash…. Except Itsu. Because I had the good sense to put her in a seat belt. The tires squeal and dirt and rocks fly out from behind us as we come to our sudden stop.

“Honey,” I look around the woods. “I don’t think… I don’t think this is it.”

“It is.” She nods. “It has to be.”

“There’s nothing here.”

“Yes, there is. It’s hidden.”

Alright… we’re doing weird again. “Hidden?”

“Yes.” She nods.

“Honey-“

“Logan.” X interrupts.

“No, I think we need to take a step back and think about this logically for a second. I think-“

“Logan.”

“In a minute.” I growl. “I don’t think any of this makes sense. We need to figure out our next move.”

“Get out of the car.” X says silently.

“…What?”

“The car. Get out of it.”

“In the middle of the woods near ‘hell’? I don’t think so. I think that is the stupidest, most idiotic, thing that has been said today. Which is saying something because earlier we asked the ‘air’ for a god damn car key! Now we aren’t getting any further… until we have a plan. And no one, NO ONE, is getting out this car-“

Both the passenger car door and the back seat door open at the same time.

I stare at the women in disbelief. “Didn’t you hear me? Get back in the car!”

“The car will not fit where we are going to go.” Itsu says in clipped words.

She walks in front of the car shielding her eyes from the high beams. She glares at me over them and walks to the side of the road where there’s a small ledge. She carefully steps onto the ledge and through a space in between two oak trees. One that I don’t know how she even saw through the car window. If she hadn’t been going through it, I wouldn’t have seen it.

“X- go get her.” I growl.

“No.” The girl says defiantly. “I’m going with her.”

“…What? Why? We’re in the middle of god knows where- we don’t know who’s out here- both of you need to get back in the car!”

“You can stay in the car.” She says simply. “Though I think your wife would be most displeased with you…. and she already seems displeased at the moment as is.”

Laura disappears over the ledge and through the trees as well.

They’re going to get caught. They’ll be torture-

Itsu’s going to be caught!

Oh god. She’s going to go in guns blazing and have no way to defend herself. Romulus… what will he do to her? Something that would hurt me…. no not me. Something that would hurt Daken. He’d capture her just to torture him.

And I don’t know how much ‘torturing’ has been going on. I only saw the one clip. I know Itsu has seen more than she says she has. I don’t know how- however. It’s more ‘weird’ than I like to think about.

Groaning I open the door and step out onto the path.

I trace their steps to the ledge, barely able to see where I’m supposed to be going.

The space between the trees is tiny. The two of them had no problems getting through, but I’m a little bulkier. It takes a few moments of squeezing.

When I catch up to them, they’re standing at the foot of a …moat? Ya, that’s a moat. And it surrounds- of course- some kind of castle.

The water’s so deep it’s almost black…. And I just know there’s bound to be something nasty in it. The only way in seems to be an honest to god drawbridge.

It’s very… medieval. Not very Roman though. I honestly expected something more Roman.

“He’s in there.” Itsu points.

“…This doesn’t look like hell.”

“It’s his hell.”

“Oh.” I try to put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugs me off.

“YOU didn’t believe me.” She says with pain in her voice. “It almost makes me think that you don’t him to be found.”

“Oh no, no darlin.” I soothe. “Of course I want to find him! I don’t want him to be in pain! This is just… not how I usually do things.”

She looks at me. “You’ve got to trust me. Please, trust me.”

I sigh. “Alright. I trust you.”

She smiles a little. “Good. Then you’re going to have to stop trying to think logically. Things don’t work by the same rules that they do in the land of the living. You’re still new at this. I’m going to need to be the leader.”

“Honey, you can’t fight.” I insist. “I don’t want you captured.”

“You can’t do my fighting for me.” She persists. “Hold on.” She holds her hand out and says something quietly.

In a matter of seconds a small dagger appears in her hand, the steel gleaming in the low lights. “See?” She smiles. “I am armed.”

“That’s….” That’s a toothpick. “A little small.”

“I plan to let myself be captured.” She says gently. “I will allow myself to be captured with this hidden on my person. Romulus will know who I am and know what pain I could bring Akihiro. He will take me to him. From there I will incapacitate Romulus and then Akihiro will be able to lead us out. At the same time you and Laura will be in the castle for back up. If I’m not out in an hour, you will come find me.”

“No.” I say harshly. “NO. if he captures you, he will torture you. Then we’ll have both you and Akihiro to carry out of there. We don’t know what shape he’s going to be in, remember? He may not be able to fight his way out.”

“That’s the beauty of it!” She smiles. “There will be no fighting. I’m betting half the souls in there are servants. And they will not stop us.”

“No.” I repeat. “I’ll think of something else.”

Her eyes flash with a look that Daken very much inherited from her. “No, Logan. We will do my plan.”

“No,” I insist. “We won’t.”

“I wonder…” She kicks a loose rock into the water. The ripples die down for a second before larger ones appear. “Oh.”

This Kraken looking thing pulls itself up from the water.

It’s all scaly green with moss growing on it… it’s face somewhat like a dragon with rows and rows of jagged teeth. It’s body is snake like… and- hell there’s too many scales. I could maybe go in from the chest region, but it’s so long… if this thing needs killing, it’s going to take a while.

“Oh dear.”

“ ‘Oh dear?’” I look at my wife. “What the hell is that?”

“A creature.” She says, backing away from the edge. “The bright side is that creatures can definitely be killed…. The downside being that you actually have to kill them.” She smiles a little. “I believe that is a Kraken. I’ve seen pictures in books before.”

Great. She woke up a Kraken.

“Ready?” She says with a smile.

“For…what?”

Laura walks past me and joins her. “On the count of three then?” She asks.

“No, no, no.” I stammer. “No counting. Everyone is going to stay back and we’re going pla-“

“One.” X counts.

“Laura Stop! I need you to listen to me- and-“

“Two.” She continues, smiling now.

“Don’t you jump!” I growl. “Don’t either of you-“

“Three!” Itsu cries, springing off the ledge and into a low embankment…. Not fifty feet from the Kraken.

X is right behind her, and I swear that she’s laughing.

And… oh hell. It looks like we’re going to fight a Kraken now.

Why not? It’s not like things could get any more weird or dangerous?

Behind the ugly beast, more ripples ensue. Another head starts to appear.

So ya… don’t quote me on that.


	9. Exhaling in silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loooooong chapter.  
> And its a little heavy.  
> Thanks for reading!

Light shines down from a window- one that’s open. NO- not open. Broken. 

Broken because my head went through it not forty minutes ago. 

The large plates of glass are still on the floor…. But I think I got them all out of my head. The bleeding stopped at least. 

The lighting coming through is a dark light. 

Which doesn’t make sense. That’s too contradictory.

Try again. 

Stormy light? 

No. 

Come on words. 

Misty? 

Foggy! It’s foggy! 

Simple things are becoming harder to manage. 

This is the product of my new education. The great sum of all my lessons. 

He thinks Hela is after him now. He’s convinced that he can save himself by bartering with me. 

…only I have to be really fucked up for it to work. Really fucked up. 

I wish the light would stay. 

But it hides. Under… fog. Yes fog. 

Simple things. We’re all about simplicity now. 

Things I can manage. Small snippets of conversation- mainly taking what’s been said and rearranging it. 

I can’t misspeak if I’m not using my own words. 

I’m guarding them. 

 

I have so few left now. 

He’s extracted them from me- I find them meaningless now. 

In a matter of days I could be completely mute. 

I wish I’d gone with Hela. That I’d just let her take me with her. I don’t know what would have happened- but it would be better than this. 

I could have been her ‘bird’. If she really wanted me to be. It wouldn’t have killed me. 

Better a small flightless one than a useless parrot. Or better yet- a dog. 

My intellect is something I have always valued…but it’s gone. He’s stolen it. 

Small words. Barely any at all. Small phrases. Small actions. 

Obedience. 

‘sit here’ ‘hold still’ ‘don’t speak’ ‘don’t move’ 

My thoughts get jumbled. I suffer from confusion more often than I’d like to admit… and I’m losing touch with things I knew in life. 

Like ‘fog’. That’s so simple. Why did my mind not grasp the concept right away?

“Sit up.” 

‘No slouching.’ ‘No cringing.’ ‘No curling.’ 

‘Back straight.’

…. ‘take what you are given.’ 

“Up.” The man insists. 

It’s the man from the before. 

“…up?” 

“Yes, up. Sit up.” 

“…up.” 

He sighs. “Daken, do not repeat me. Use your own words when you speak to me.” 

“…” 

“Speak.” He reiterates. “Daken, speak.” 

His commands remind me of someone speaking to a dog. Even he seeks to train me. 

I’m un-trainable. There are no new tricks to learn and I’ve lost a hold on my old ones. 

A vague part of my mind- the part that still hopes for escape- reminds me that I could try to fight. That I know how to fight. But what good would that do? He owns me. I was a fool to ever think I could be anything other than his. 

I am a fool to hope for escape. 

“Daken, please. Stop slouching. You know what’s been ordered.” 

He stares at me from across the large wooden table we’re seated at. 

We’re in a meeting room. Or on the outside of one.   
There’s a fire place… as stone one. With a small raised hearth and fire making tools off to the side. Like in medieval stories. Like with knights. I always somewhat liked those kind of stories. 

I like the fireplace. Even if it’s what burned me so badly yesterday. Those inflicted pains are easily forgotten in the glow of it’s warmth. 

I’m always so cold. 

I lose so much blood on a daily basis… it barely has the time to replenish itself. 

The room is easier to focus on than anything else. 

So I describe it. With words. It’s a good practice to get into. 

Brain games. Forcing myself to think and observe. 

So what’s in the room? Stone floor. Right. Stone ceiling. Yes. Windows…. Four- no wait. Six. There were six. Six windows. Five whole and one broken. 

By the fire place- outside the room are an assortment of rugs. Rugs from animals I’m not sure exist in the land of the living. 

One almost looks like it would have come off of some kind of reptile. It’s almost like alligator skin… but it’s more harsh to the touch. The scales are almost barbed. Why someone would put that on a rug- I have no idea. 

I remember it dragging across my skin… two seconds before the window thing. 

Right. Six windows. 

One hearth. 

.Three- no four- four fire pokers. 

One fire. 

And the man. One of him. 

Two people out here and two in the room. Master is in the room…. And he’s… what was he doing? What is he ever doing? He talks so much. I don’t remember him talking this much before. 

….and I can ponder all of this and not think of the word ‘fog’. 

I am a failure. I failed my team. I failed my master. And ultimately, I have failed myself.

 

“…blood loss.” I say sluggishly. The man expects conversation. He’ll keep pressing…. 

The man. Yes. there’s an exercise. Without looking… 

Tall. Very tall. Massive. Well built…. There’s a scar on his face. The…. Right side. Yea. It looks like someone just missed his eye. His eyes… I don’t remember their color, but they’re soft. So soft. 

He’s gentle. His movements are delicate. That suggests that he was some kind of fighter in his life. Some… some kind of… knight? I like to think of him as a knight for some reason. He talks with old English- his words vaguely accented. 

I like knights. 

I like to think of him as a protector. Someone who’s on my side. 

I need someone on my side. I can’t begin to fathom where I would be if not for his small interferences throughout the day.

“I understand that.” He soothes. “But you must sit up.” 

I shake my head slowly. 

He stands from his chair and walks behind me, putting his arms around my torso and pulling me up further in my seat. 

The blades lodged in my torso decide to let themselves be known. 

“…blood.” 

“Yes. That’s nothing new.” He chides. “He’ll be done soon, you need to be at attention.” 

“….blood.”   
“Yes, you’re bleeding.” He repeats. “You’re always bleeding. At this rate- you will always be bleeding. Tune out the pain.”

 

“…how?” 

“Have you tried what I told you? Observing your surroundings and taking stock?” 

“…” 

“Well have you?” 

I nod. 

“Good. It’s good to keep your brain focused on something other than the pain.” 

“…help?” 

“Help? Oh no , Daken. Not with him so near. That comes later. I can’t help you right now.” 

“…” 

“Oh please don’t wear that expression. I’m not doing this to be cruel to you.” 

“….” 

“Daken, just focus on something, alright? Count the windows. Count the cracks in the floor. Count-“ 

“Six windows, one hearth, five hundred and twenty six stone blocks on the wall with the windows…. And-“ 

“NO, no. You don’t need to tell me.” He chuckles. “You count.” 

“…help me.” 

“I know it hurts.”  
“..take me away.” 

“Not until he tells me too. I’ve been working on him all day. It will happen soon.” 

‘working on him’. I’ve been disemboweled and burnt and impaled and… so many other things. Maybe that’s what I should start counting. 

… three blades. 

Chest, stomach, side. 

Three impalements. 

One large sword and two smaller ones. 

Three. 

“….” I end up groaning. 

 

“Don’t slouch.” He presses. “Focus on something else.” 

“… there’s nothing left.” 

He sighs heavily. “Oh hell.” He does something with his hands, they disappear for a second and then return with a small vile. “Drink this.” 

“…” 

“For pain, Daken. It’s for pain.” He soothes. “ If we’re lucky- he won’t notice the difference in your behavior because of how…” He stops, drumming the fingers of his left hand on my shoulder. “Well… you know. How your behavior has changed over the last few weeks. You’re… not all ‘there’, as I’ve heard it been said. Maybe he won’t notice if you’re drugged.” 

“…” 

“Drink it.” He insists. “Before he comes.” 

“…why?” 

“Why? You’re asking why?? You’ve been impaled. That’s why. You were just asking for my help. Well now I’m helping you.” He chuckles. “Open your mouth.” 

I smell something sweet. He’s unstopped the vile and The liquid is a soft green. It looks like it should taste like mint. 

I fix my gaze on the door. Any minute… who’s he in there with? So secretive lately. 

He’s put this man over me. 

Today he’s supposed to make sure I don’t go anywhere. Which he doesn’t have a problem with. I can’t decide whether he works for Hela or the ‘associate’ that’s yet to be named. 

I never really dealt with an ‘gods’ or ‘demons’ in life. I don’t know the major players well enough to guess as to whose who. 

“Your mouth.” He enunciates. “Open it.” 

“…” 

“Oh you helpless thing.” He chides, he jabs his fingers into my mouth and forces it open. “Now swallow.” 

This does not taste like mint. 

It’s like… cough syrup and I don’t like it. 

I try to yank back from him, but he won’t have it. “Up straight, Daken. Sit up straight.” 

I make muffled pleas for help. 

He tilts my head back with one hand, while running the other over my exposed throat- prompting me to swallow it.

He only stops man handling me after I’ve swallowed. 

He chuckles from deep in his chest. “Allow that to set in.” 

We sit quietly for some minutes. He gives more orders every now and then. 

Things like- ‘sit up’ or ‘close your mouth’. 

Things are becoming very hazy. Logically I know that there are at least three blades impaling me right now… but physically I can’t feel them. 

It’s like they’re not there. I can almost… the top one has something on the handle. I almost want to-

“Don’t touch that.” He soothes, pulling my hand away from the highest one. “You’ll make it worse.” 

“…how?”

He sighs. “I fear that I’ve given you far too high of a dose.” 

The large door in front of the table that’s to creak. 

There’s a moment of panic. 

“Relax. I will handle this…. Know that what I am about to do, I do to protect you.” He whispers. 

Things are quiet for a second. The door opens fully and Romulus exits with one of the servants. This one does not look frightened. He eyes the man with me with great caution. 

There’s a pang of pain in my stomach. I feel myself tense up. 

“…. Ouch.” 

All three men look at me. 

“Leave us.” Romulus growls to the other man. 

He doesn’t hesitate. He sends my new guardian a small pointed look, but he leaves quickly enough. 

“What is wrong with him?” 

What’s wrong with me? You stabbed me. You won’t let me remove the blades. I haven’t slept in weeks… you don’t feed me. You find every single excuse in the world to hurt and cripple me. What’s wrong with me? No. No. This can’t be fault. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’ve done nothing. I’m just trying to survive. That’s all anyone is trying to do here. 

Maybe… maybe something is wrong with him. 

Maybe… maybe something has always been wrong with him. 

I don’t… I can’t think. It’s too hard. I almost wish he’d hurt me again. Give me something to think of- even if it’s just pain. 

 

“He’s been like this for the entire time you’ve been gone.” The man says to Romulus. “Talking nonsense. Pure nonsense.” 

Romulus looks with vague interest. “Really.” He drawls. “A very interesting turn of events. Not completely unexpected. His mind has become quite dull. I suppose it’s not out of the ordinary for him to start spouting nonsense.” 

“If I were you, I’d discard him for the day.” He says coldly. “He’s of no use to anyone. A complete simpleton.” 

“…ouch.” 

Romulus growls. “Be silent, fool.” 

I want to go to bed. I haven’t slept since I saw Hela. How can I call her if I can’t sleep?

“Help.” Simple enough. Someone should help me. I want to ask the man standing with me… but I feel like I shouldn’t. I feel like that’s a secret. Yes… a secret. I need to keep him a secret. 

“Daken,” he says in a dangerously low tone, “If you have to capability for understanding this, I need for you to be silent. If you have nothing intelligent to say then you are not permitted to speak. You’re embarrassing yourself.” 

“…” I didn’t want to say anything to you anyway. 

“I find that he’s lost so much of his comprehension.” The man says to my slightly amused master. “He barely functions. I’m honestly surprised that he can dress himself at this point.” 

“Wh-“ 

“Silence.” The man laughs. “No one wants to hear what you have to say unless it is an intelligent, rationally, composed sentence. Since you are incapable of those- do not speak.” 

Physical pain is gone… I don’t feel it. This however… this I don’t like. I’m not stupid. I can comprehend what’s being said. 

… I just don’t know why it’s being said. Why does everyone talk about me like this? Even the servants. Like I’m so kind of defect. 

“Perhaps that’s too harsh.” Romulus muses. “Tell me Daken, what is your opinion on this? Surely you’ve got some input into the conversation.” 

Romulus will find common ground with anyone who would hurt me at this point. He and the man seem to be getting along fine.

I want to curl up and die. 

 

“He says nothing.” 

“…” No. I can’t. I can’t think of anything. My mouth feels dry. 

“I take your silence as proof that you’ve absolutely no thoughts going on in your head.” he chuckles- but it’s mean. “I think I prefer you brain dead- boy. So much time saved by not having to listen to your blathering.” 

I look at the man- the one who’s shown this strange level of kindness to me. Why is he egging Romulus on? Why have they teamed up to demean me?

“I wonder if maybe rest would restore some of his higher brain functions.” 

“…sleep?” I offer. 

The two of them laugh. 

“That, he understood.” The man laughs. “Though he did manage to stay upright in the chair. I suppose simple instructions aren’t beyond him yet.” 

Stop. 

I don’t want to hear this. This isn’t my fault. He’s pushing me. They’re pushing me. I haven’t slept in weeks. I’m always suffering from blood loss- what do they expect of me? How am I supposed to perform higher functions if I’m constantly put in situations where I can’t? I can’t begin to understand why this is happening- rationally I know. He’s said little bits and pieces. He has a plan. 

….but I’m not thinking rationally. These people are hurting me. I want away from them. 

“… if I could sleep-“ 

“Yes, bargain for something Daken. Use your non functioning mind to try and sway us.” the man sneers. 

“I… function?” 

“Are you asking?” Romulus drawls. “If you have to ask then you clearly have your answer, boy.” 

“…please… let me think.” 

“Perhaps it’s best that you don’t.” The man chuckles. “I’d hate for you to hurt yourself.” 

But… he… “Why are you doing this?” 

“A full sentence. Bravo.” 

“Please-“ I reach a hand out to him, I don’t know why. But he’s not real right now. I need him to be like he was before. 

“There’s one he knows.” The man continues, moving away from me. “What other things do you have to say- Daken? What philosophical quandaries has a man of your great intellect been pondering?” 

“…. I-“ 

“Yes?” 

Think. What have I been thinking about? Fog. Counting. Numbers- so many numbers. The objects… all over the castle. I can tell you exactly what’s in every room I’ve been into. Does that not count for something? Obviously I can’t respond to this with a list of items. That will not be impressive. SO think. Think. What do I know now? What confuses me? “The dual nature of death and it’s effects-“ 

“You’d best stop while you’re ahead, boy.” Romulus growls. “It’s not wise to use up ones entire vocabulary in one sentence.” 

“…but-“ 

“He’s trying so hard.” The man mocks. 

“To believe that he was once something of value.” 

I can… but I can’t. I can’t fight with them. This is a favorite pastime of pretty much everyone’s. Talking down to me like I’m some kind of idiot and not giving me the chance to respond. 

I almost prefer the physical pain. 

“I’m… valuable.” I try. “I can… fight?” 

“Yes. With a missing arm and an equally impressive loss of eye sight. I’m sure your quite good.” 

I look down at the table. 

“Perhaps we should move you somewhere where your talents would be better suited? I’m sure there’s somewhere where you could use your might prowess to be of effect… perhaps in the kitchen. Since obviously your own weapons mean less than nothing to you…” Romulus chuckles. “I’m thinking we should just remove them. Since you’ve obviously not a need for them anymore.” 

“No!” 

The man laughs. “It is always a delight to hear him try to speak.” 

“Yes, though I fell that his amusement factor as worn off for the moment. Take him away. If I need a jester, I’ll call for him.” Romulus dismisses spitefully. 

“And the blades?” 

“Take them out, leave them in, he’s not intelligent enough to grasp if we’re hurting him. The pain is secondary to him now…. of his own stupidity I’m sure he can find methods to suffer on his own tonight.” 

I’m… my stupidity? How have I been stupid? He taught me everything I know. I’m a good student. I speak… 

It doesn’t matter.

“Then you’ll not have need of him?” 

Romulus shakes his head. “I’m bored with him. If he is to go with me then he will be nothing but tiresome… If this Hela woman wishes to have her ‘intriguing’ boy, She’ll have to respond to my summons. It should be worth a laugh when I give her this.” He motions to me lazily. 

“One she would very much be surprised by.” The man agrees. “It’s hard for a bird to sing if it’s lost it’s entire vocabulary.”   
They look at me. 

I feel sick. 

The moment stretches on. 

“He doesn’t even try to defend himself. He thinks this the truth.” 

Romulus walks past me and towards the other room. “It is the truth. He’s worthless. Get him out of here. Away from me. A closet, a hole- somewhere where he can’t be seen. He is a disgrace and I don’t wish for anyone to associate him with me for the time being.” 

“..but-“ 

“Now he speaks.” 

“I-“ 

“Silence.” The man puts a hand on my shoulder. “Do what you’re best at- obey. Like the trained animal that you are.”

Romulus chuckles, but it moves further from the room. 

The room is quiet for a few seconds. I close my eyes and listen. The fire… the wind outside… the man’s breathing. 

When I open them Romulus is gone. The man is staring at me in a different way. The change is almost frightening. “Come.” 

I shake my head. I’ll die- here. At the table. Right in this very spot! I’ll not go an inch further. I can’t. 

“Daken,” 

I continue shake my head.

“Don’t you want to rest? That was rather harsh. Come lay down and sleep it off.” 

“…leave me.” 

“And have you sitting in this same spot when he’s so clearly said he doesn’t want to see you?” 

“….yes.” 

“Child, don’t be stubborn. I’ve just saved both of us from a horrible evening of torture.” 

“…” 

He sighs. “You know I did not mean what I said.” He tries to explain. “You’re reacting too much to the pain medication. If he had kept you with him, he would have noticed. You would have been punished. Because I was the only one in the room with you, he would have known that I was helping you. If he finds that out- then I cannot help you anymore. Do you understand?” 

But… no. I can’t trust him. I can’t trust anyone. 

“Oh child.” He sighs. “Come. I’ll take you to the servants quarters. It’s not a bad place to rest.” 

“…” 

“Yes.” He sighs. “I suppose after what I’ve said I do deserve your silence. It was not the truth of course, but I suppose that means little to you right now.” He bends down beside me and rests a hand on the hilt of one of the blades. “Hmm… you’ve healed around them.” 

“…” 

“It will hurt when I remove them.” He explains. 

I knew that. I know I know that. That’s common sense.

“On the count of three then.” He says gently. 

He may have started counting, I don’t know. 

Things are hazy. I like hazy. 

Foggy is a better word. 

Back to that stupid word. 

I feel like a child. I know nothing. I am not even permitted to be in the same room with others. Not a child- no. I am less than human. 

Humans have the ability to think. I have the ability to obey. Like a dog. 

A mutt. 

Truly A daken now. It’s not just a name… it’s a trait. 

I’m… not angered by this…. I’m cold. People don’t care for mutts. 

Especially poorly trained ones who’ve lost the ability to learn. 

Cold- physically, emotionally- cold. Freezing even. It’s as if I’m carrying this wound that refuses to close. 

I don’t really remember if this coldness was there when I started my training. 

But then death is supposed to be cold… isn’t it. I suppose that it makes sense that I would be colder now than I was in life. 

“Last one.” 

I zone back in and look down. Most of the blades are gone and the wounds are healing as if Romulus has forgotten to do whatever it is he does to block my healing factor. 

“You must be tired.” He comments. 

“….” 

He sighs. “Daken, please. I do not mean you harm. I have been given very specific directions as to your treatment. My master was quite clear.” 

“…who is-“ 

“You know.” He says lowly, hand on the blade he’s just pulled out of me. “She is very interested in you. After failing to retrieve you, she asked that I look out for you as best I could without giving myself away.” 

So many questions… but the only one I can manage is, “…Is she nice?” 

“…. Nicer than him…. at times. She would not seek to dehumanize you- if that’s what you mean to ask.” He nods. “She has a temper. But she cares for what’s hers.” 

“And I’m hers?” 

“Do you want to be?” 

“…I don’t know.” I look down at my lap, I wish I had some jeans. I died in my uniform. That had to be removed from me. Now All of got are these thin gray short like things. They soak up blood too easily. I’m always covered in it. 

“I would make up my mind if I were you. Soon you will have very important decisions to make.” 

“…she wants me?” I venture. 

“Yes. She wants you. And she usually gets what she wants.” 

“Is she here?” 

“You’re speaking.” He says with a smile. “Good. I had feared you would not talk to me for the night. It makes very boring conversation.” 

He didn’t answer me. “Hela- is she here?” 

He sighs. “No. She’s been forbidden to come back so long as Romulus’ contract with Mephisto stands.” 

“Me- who?” 

“He’s…. a demon, I suppose you could call him. He resides over a more hellish part of this place- one filled with anguish and torment. Only those who truly deserve punishment… or fail to complete their end of his bargain- go there.” He watches me for a second. “He’s only involved with this because your master is. He will have no interest in you, I assure you.” He adds with a smile. “I’ve already told you- you do not belong here. Or there. You were meant to be left alone. Him taking you is a crime within itself. What’s he done to you since, even more so.” 

“…” 

He sighs raggedly. “More silence. The other servants refer to this as ‘black outs’. I find it fascinating. I was never alive when electricity was- but some of the more modern servants say that a ‘black out’ is when major portions of cities lose power. So when you stop speaking for extended periods of time and seem to collapse in on yourself- we call them ‘black outs’. It was one of the cooks who started it. He’s quite a clever fellow.”

The servants.

They must talk about me dreadfully. I truly am an embarrassment. And so publicly too. I have no shame. No tact. 

Raw. I’m raw and bleeding for everyone to see my weakness. 

“One of the others suggested that food would help bring you back to your senses quickly during your blackouts. She’s also very clever. I think we’ll give her method a try.” 

Alright…. 

“Am I going back in the kitchen?” To the closet. I don’t mind the closet- but he’s sure to find me there.

“No.” He assures. “No. I’ll take you to my quarters. You will be permitted to sleep there.” He eyes me in a very sort of wise way. “If you’ll move from that chair- that is. You are no longer bleeding and I will not carry you.” 

I don’t want him to carry me. But I can’t seem to get my legs to work. 

“Daken, please. I know you’re tired- Just stand up, please. It’s not a long walk from here, I promise.” 

I feel like I’m dead weight. I use my arm to push off from the table. Only having the one makes the chair behind me a little crooked. 

“Let me help you.” He pulls the chair out fully. “…are you well?” 

No. I see spots in my vision. My stomach churns. 

“I’m going to be sick.” 

“Oh no.” He assures. “It will pass once I get you some food. You took that potion with an empty stomach. That’s all.” 

Things like that should be said before medication is given. 

I know this. He should know this. 

Since he obviously knows more than I do. 

“Come now.” 

Like I have another choice? 

The slowly walks in front, occasionally looking back as we go through the dimly lit halls into the very belly of the castle. “A little further.” He says at one point. “… lean on the wall if you must. Just keep moving.” 

We pass no one. They’re all out serving. I’m grateful for this. I can’t stand their gazes anymore.

“Here.” We stop in a hallway with several large, heavy, wooden doors lining it. “Mine is the first door on the right.” He taps on the door with his finger. “I tell you this, but make myself very clear- you will not leave my room. Do you understand?” 

“…yes.” 

“You will be quiet.” 

“…yes.” 

“You will obey.” 

“….yes.” 

“You will trust that what I am doing is in your best interest.” 

I shake my head. That’s too familiar. This man… he sounds like-

“Daken-“ 

His massive hand grasps my arm… where I just realize I’ve been backing away from him. “I will not hurt you.” He repeats from earlier. “I know what you are thinking, I can see it on your face. I will not hurt you.”  
A door down the hall opens and emits a small, red headed woman into the hallway. She eyes us with a chuckle. “I see the pet has been misplaced again. Do take care, I doubt your master will intervene a second time…. the first shock of her arrival is the only thing that kept you from the dungeon after so cleverly hiding him last time.” 

The man sighs. “Go about your business. Things are well in hand now.” 

“I’m sure.” She sneers. “I work a long hour tonight…. Do not let his screaming wake me.” 

“He will not scream.” He assures, looking at me. 

Scream? I pull away from him harder. 

“There will be no reason for him to.” He grits, restraining my arm with just one of his massive hands.

“Like that stops him. He was quite vocal last time.” 

The man nods to her. “I will see to it that this is a more peaceful rest than last time.” 

“You do that.” 

She walks past without a second glance. 

He rummages in his pocket and pulls out a key. “Daken, be still.” He soothes. “You will not suffer tonight.” 

The door opens and he’s pulling me inside whether I want to go or not. 

I find my eyes closed as soon as I enter. I know this will end badly. I refuse to look at him. 

There’s a hand on my face. “You are fine.” He soothes. “Relax.” 

“…don’t.” 

“Don’t? I’m not hurting you.” He drags on my arm, and I’ve yet to open my eyes.   
“Daken,” He sighs. “Open your eyes. You’re going to trip.” 

“Let me go!” 

“Shhh!” He says harshly. “What did I tell you about being quiet??” 

“Please- let me go.” I try quieter.

“…. You are a bit of a mess. Luckily for you, the best way to help you is rest. You’ll not be called upon for a while yet. I will allow you to rest as much as you need to.” 

“Let go.” My voice wavers. 

“You… what are you doing child? I’ve already told you- I mean you know harm.” 

“I will stab you,” I say lowly, “if you do not release me.” 

“Stab me??” He chuckles. “What ever for?” 

“I know what you’re doing!” 

“What I’m…oh to hell with this.” He lets go of my arm briefly. 

I open my eyes just in time to see the room go sideways. 

I can’t… I can’t understand… 

His face is over me now. I’m… 

He’s toting me. 

“I knew you would only come if I carried you.” He teases. “Such a pain.” 

“..don’t.” I say weakly. 

“Yes, Daken, please continue to plead with me. You prove yourself to be helpless… and then refuse to be helped. What a strange man you are.” 

“….” 

We move for a while, dark ceiling over head, dim shadows on the wall cast by about twenty well placed candles. 

“Here.” He lowers his arms until my back meets a mattress. “See? No harm done.” 

As soon as he lets go, I back away from him as quickly as I can manage. Though it’s a little messy. I end up tangled in thick blankets. 

“What are you doing now?” He chuckles. 

“Stay away from me.” I growl weakly. 

“OH yes, Daken. I’ve heard you.” He tugs at the blanket, trying to remove it, I quickly grab it and tug back. 

“You are so complicated!” He fusses. “Won’t you allow me to untangle you?” 

“No!” 

“Daken, when I start the fire, you will over heat under that. Please-“ 

“Stay away!” 

“Child- please. This is foolish.” 

I can’t go back any further. My backs to the wall already. Panic is making things move slowly. 

“Don’t.” I warn as his hand tries to remove the blanket. 

“Relax.” he soothes. “Just breathe.” 

“If you come any closer I will stab you!” 

“No more yelling.” He continues to soothe. “Please. You’ll draw attention.” 

He’ll soothe me into sleep and then hurt me. He’ll do it when I put my guard down. 

I unsheathe my claws and messily swipe at him. He jumps back with his hands in the air. “Child- child- please. Relax. I mean you no harm.” 

He tries to walk back, but I take another swing at him. 

“I am your ally.” He tries again. 

“Stay over there!” I yell. 

“You are threatening the only person in this castle who wants to help you.” He says quietly. “Please think wisely about your course of action. Be quiet and rational. Take a second to think.” 

He… he … no. he helps me. Would he hurt me? Everything hurts me. EveryONE hurts me. This is a test. Like when I was younger. They made me love the people who cared for me and then had them attack me! He’s…. god . I’m in the cycle. My childhood fears and worries back in full force so many years later. 

My metaphorical bogey man in charge of it all. 

“Stay away.” I manage weakly. 

“Retract your claws.” He says gently. “Please. Allow me to help you.” 

I pull my arm into myself. My claws are cold against my skin. The pain that comes with them is a welcome one. 

“…alright.” He soothes. “Feeling better?” 

I shake my head. 

“You’d feel better if you withdrew your claws.” He tries. 

“No.” 

“No? Okay then. Keep them. If that makes you feel safe.” 

I set my head against the cool stone of the wall. 

“You need food.” He soothes. “Stay here quietly. I will retrieve some for you.” 

“…wait-“ 

“Yes?” He sounds gentle. 

“Please- don’t tell him where I am.” 

He smiles sadly. “Of course not.” 

“Please.” 

“Okay, Daken. I’ve already said I wouldn’t.” 

“You don’t understand.” I try. “he’s… he’ll hurt me.” 

“He’s always hurting you.” 

“He’ll hurt me worse.” 

“…how so?” 

I look to the side. He… no. “He just will.” 

He looks me over for a second. “My mistress would care for you in this. She has knowledge of your suffering on all levels.” 

“…how?” 

He smiles. “One of my fellow servants cleans Romulus’ chambers. We know just about everything he does. We observe quietly and report to her.” 

“…” 

“Rest.” He commands softly. “I will return momentarily.” 

The room is dark as he leaves. 

It’s been… too much . It’s always too much. 

I shouldn’t sleep. I can’t account of what will happen to be if I’m not conscious. 

…but I’m so nauseous. And it’s been so long since I slept. 

It can’t hurt just for a moment…. Just for- 

\--------------

“What do you suppose?” 

He’s back. I wake with a start. 

There’s…. someone else in the room. 

MY first thought is that Romulus has changed his mind and come to collect me… then I realize it’s a woman. 

“We’ve had cases like his before back home.” This woman sounds… very modern. “I mean, when I was alive. It’s just a good dose of trauma.” 

“How would you treat that?” 

“Right now? A really good therapist and an IV drip of some kind. Something strong. Thorazine would probably be best.” 

“… I’m not quite sure what that is.” 

The woman sighs. “ya I didn’t think so. Failing that, I suggest we get some food in him and put him to bed.” 

I can barely see her face…. 

Dark skin, dark eyes… she’s pretty. Angelic even. 

“Hi.” She greets. “Look… your buddy here said you’ve been having a hard time. I’m going to get you something to help you sleep… you’ll need to eat before you can take it though.” 

Not knowing what to say to her, I nod. 

“Good. We’ve got some left-overs from the kitchen. Eat that. It’ll help.” 

I doubt it. 

“When you’re done, take this.” She presses a vile, much like the other one, into my hand. “It’s a lot stronger than anything you’ve ever had- I guarantee it.” She smiles. “Take that and rest.” 

The two of them leave an assortment of food and the vile with me and go into the other room. 

I think they don’t know how well I can hear…. But the thought is appreciated. 

“I’d call her.” The woman is saying. “Poor thing won’t last much longer….” 

“There… is a development that is intriguing. I’m holding off just for that.” 

“…. Intriguing?” 

“Someone is outside.” 

“…outside where? Here? Someone’s outside here?” 

“Yes. I saw them. They’ve… enticed the creatures into a small battle.” 

“Those damn things.” the woman hisses. “I’d call her. There’s no way they’re getting past them.” 

“I’ll give them two hours.” The man says calmly. “Mephisto, I’m told, is actively seeking to nullify his contract. The boy seems to be a key to that.” 

“oh?” 

“It’s very interesting.” The man sounds excited. “I’ll tell you once he’s sleeping.” 

Foot steps come back into the room and the man stares at me expectantly. “You haven’t moved.” 

“… who is outside?” 

“…. We don’t know.” He says cautiously. “We have a suspicion. But we do not know for sure.” He looks at the food and sighs. “Eat this bread. It will be heavy enough to take the potion on… but easy to eat.” 

“…” 

“You promised to obey.” He says sternly. 

“…” 

“Obey, Daken. You promised.” 

“Yes.” 

He smiles. “Good. Hurry up. Things will go a lot smoother for you if you’re asleep.” 

What will go smoother? 

He watches me to make sure I do what he’s said. I can barely stomach anything because of the nausea. 

But it makes it down. 

“Now the potion.” 

He unstops it for me and hands it back. 

The second the liquid touches my tongue I feel it’s effects. 

“All of it.” He instructs. “Come on…. a small fraction more…. more… there.” 

I’ve just enough time to let go of the glass before my entire body collapses back to the bed.


	10. Inhale and Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our trio makes headway on their journey. 
> 
> (which sounds a lot more formal than I intended it to. :P ) 
> 
> Enjoy! Thanks for reading, leaving kudos, and comments. It's good incentive to keep writing!

“Block!” I growl at X, who seems to be having too much ‘fun’ to fight properly. 

“… with what?” She grunts. “My hand is occupied.” 

“For Christ’s sake-“ The second creature strikes at me, missing by inch. “Where is Itsu?” 

“She’s over there.” X nods with her head while she holds the first beasts mouth open with her hands. “Some help would be appreciated.” 

“Kinda got my own thing going on here.” I grunt, rolling to the side as the snake like beast goes for another attack. 

They’re big- but I’ve fought bigger. A few minutes in it was obvious that they’ve got a huge blind spot. If I could just get behind it- I go to jump when it lunges, but the lunge stops midway. 

Istu jumps on it’s lowering head from the spot we were standing on about thirty minutes ago- the overhanging above us, and she stabs the fuck out of it. She rides it all the way down to the water, holding the monster’s mouth shut with her weight and sword. 

And holy fuck. 

The thing twitches for a while as the water turns that pinkish color it usual does when blood is introduced. When it stops moving, she turns around and smiles at me. 

“That was exhilarating. I can see why you enjoy it so much!” She’s kinda doing this little bouncing move. Like she’s having the time of her life and can’t hold still. 

All I can do is stand there. This… I don’t know fifty foot… creature is dead under her feet… her tiny little feet. With almost no help from me- she killed a Kraken. 

……… I was gonna kill that. I swear. 

“Get off of it.” I order. “In case it revives.” 

She looks down at the beast, pulls her sword out and stabs it through again. “I think it’s dead.” She smiles. 

“I still require assistance.” X calls from behind me. 

Itsu jumps on the embankment and starts to go towards her. I quickly grab her arm, “I got this one babe.” 

She raises an eyebrow. “Of course, love. You’ve been such a help.” 

I spare her a smirk. “You’re getting a mouth on you- you know that?” 

“Isn’t it wonderful?” She teases. “Talking back is my new favorite past time.” 

“ ‘ Wonderful’?” I snort. “That’s one word for it.” 

She sticks her tongue out at me. 

She’s…. beautiful in every sense of the word. A proving to be kinda vicious when it comes to fighting. It’s a good package if you ask me.

I lean forward and kiss her, letting her wrap her arm around my neck. 

She’s more alive than she ever was. 

It’s an amazing sight. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt- but I could really use a hand over here!” X grunts, we break apart to look at her. 

She’s got her hands pressed on the roof of the Kraken’s mouth and her feet on the bottom jaw. 

Which is a tactical move…. 

If you want to be eaten. 

“Shall we?” Itsu smiles. 

“After you.” 

This time the two of us attack at the same time- her going in through the head, and me coming in through the bottom. X adds insult to injury by stabbing through the head at the same time Itsu does- 

All in all the thing is very much dead by the time it falls to the water. 

X untangles herself and looks between us. “The two of you fight well together.” 

We look at each other. 

“I guess we do.” I feel myself smirking. 

“Akihiro is lucky to have the two of you.” 

“…who?” Itsu ponders, still smiling.

X looks at her oddly. “Akihiro.”   
“Who?” She asks again, she stops smiling and gets this look of concentration on her face. 

“Akihiro.” I repeat X’s statement from before. 

Itsu looks at us in confusion. “I do not know this name.” 

“Baby, our son.” I say with caution. “We’re here to save him.” 

“OH!” Her face falls. “Of course. My Akihiro. Of course.” 

That’s odd. She’s been so focused this whole trip. Did she… “Honey… did you forget?” 

Her lip starts to tremble. “I…. suppose I did.” She sighs raggedly. “How could I have forgotten that?? I even forgot his name. I’ve been playing it over and over in my head so I’ll know what to call him when I see him- and I forgot. I almost forgot the whole reason we were here. I’ve come all this way…. And I forgot.” 

That strikes me as odd… 

“And… I know I had a plan.” She continues… ‘But I can’t remember it?” 

“… Itsu?” 

“It’s like someone wants me to forget.” Her eyes are wide. “Someone is actively trying to make me lose focus.” 

“Who would do such a thing?” Laura ponders. 

Itsu bites her lip. “Someone…. Someone is in there.” She points across the moat to the castle.

“Romulus is in there.” I growl. 

She shakes her head. “No love… well yes, of course- but he is not alone.” 

“It’s with someone else? He always works alone. Who could he have with him?” I wonder out loud. 

“I know this person.” She says sternly. “I’ve felt them before.” 

“ ‘felt’ them?” 

“You don’t feel that?” She asks with a raised eyebrow. “That force? The very air we breathe is full of it. Someone is in there. And… they don’t want us to join them.” 

“…Daken has pheromone abilities.” Laura ponders. 

“….pheromones?” 

“It’s is mutant power.” I supply. “Along with the healing and the claws. He can impose what he’s feeling or make people feel a certain way.” 

She smiles a little. “How talented he is.” 

“Yea he’s pretty good at it.” I allow it. 

“So….?”

“So…” Laura says thoughtfully. “What if he’s using them on a greater scale than usual?” 

Itsu shakes her head violently. “Why would he try to keep us out? We’re saving him!” 

I look up at the castle. The dark sky around it makes it look even more ominous. “Maybe he’s not trying to keep US out. Maybe he’s defending himself against someone else.” 

“Who would take that much power?” Laura says carefully. 

“Romulus?” I offer. “If he’s in there- then he’s hurting him in some fashion. It may make Da-“ 

Itsu coughs. 

“Akihiro,” I correct. “If he’s scared enough, he could be losing control of his powers and pushing too hard... When we fought against Romulus, I never felt him use his powers. He never even tried. Maybe…. Maybe Romulus takes a lot of power to sway him.” 

“We must go to him.” Itsu says quickly. “This much power… he must be very frightened.” 

“Alright….” I look over the water. “So how are we getting in?? We can’t go up to the gate and knock.” 

Itsu taps on my shoulder- turning me around to the very front of the castle. “We don’t have to, my love.” 

“We… don’t?” 

“Look.” She points to the bridge lowering. Figures on horse back are waiting on the other side. Figures in black, riding in a pack… in the middle of the formation is a large man. A really tall guy. Red skin, pointed hair…. 

“Shit!” I growl. “Everyone down!” 

“…Logan?” 

I pull on her shirt and bring her down to the ground, concealed by the ledge of the over hanging on our little embankment. 

She huffs and readjusts the top while glaring at me. “Too much skin.” She mutters to herself. 

“What are we doing?” Laura hisses, sparing Itsu a look of sympathy. Maybe having X around will be good for her as far as dressing. It might help to have a more modern woma- I can’t think of X and a woman. Not fully. I still want to call her a ‘girl’. But she’s not a girl- is she? She’s a – oh fuck it. It doesn’t matter. Draw bridge- Logan. Focus.

“I know who that is.” I whisper.

“Who, who is?” 

“The man.” I point in his direction. “The tall guy on the horse?” 

Itsu, tries to move to where she can see, but I pull her back. “Who is it?” She huffs in frustration. 

“Mephisto.” The name sounds like a curse. It should be a curse. One of the worst things that could possibly happen down here is to run into him. This guys foul- bad as they come. And he’s… he’s in the same place as Daken? That can’t happen- I need to save him. He can’t be taken by this monster. I won’t let this happen to him again! I won’t allow some bastard to hurt him for the sake of hurting him.

“As in…” Laura thinks for a second. “Ghost Rider’s Mephisto?” 

I stare at her for a second. I wonder just how many people in the super hero circle she’s run into. Ghost Rider’s kinda off the beaten path. Not really a guy you’d invite to a party. I hope she’s only heard of him. That dude’s got some fucked up ways of thinking…. And that’s saying something coming from me. “Yup.” 

“Why would he be here?” 

“The ‘why’ isn’t important.” Itsu says lowly. “Look.” she points in the opposite side of where we’re crouched. There’s someone literally walking over the water-Right up to the castle wall. “He’s not alone.” 

“…. I don’t know that… woman?” Yea, that’s a woman. I hope Itsu feels better about her outfit choice. This chick has left nothing to the imagination. 

“I do.” Itsu says lowly. “She’s not of earth. She comes from somewhere else…. somewhere…. ‘Asgard’. Yes, Asgard. Like in the old Norse stories.”

I forget just how well read she is sometimes. 

“Holy fuck.” I breathe. 

The woman, dressed in mostly black with a long green cloak and the most ridiculous head gear I’ve seen in a while- all points and wide, sticking off to the side of her head in both directions and pointing up… damn do Asgardians wear some weird shit- she walks up to the stone wall- places her hand against it, and melts through- she’s phasing to the other side. 

“Logan…” 

“He’s invited.” I point to Mephisto… “But I’d bet money that she ain’t.” 

“Hela.” Itsu whispers. “Her name is Hela. In some small part of eternity- she is queen.” 

“Like Mephisto.” I conclude. “He’s a ‘king’ of sorts. Passes himself off as the devil.” 

“Hela is no devil.” Itsu continues to whisper. “She is a goddess.” 

“…. We have to get in that castle.” X says after some thought. “Whatever is going on can’t be good for Akihiro.” 

“No…. I fear not.” Istu, starts to creep along the embankment. “If we sneak across the water, we can climb up the side of the castle onto the opening while the bridge is down.” 

“That’s risky.” I warn. 

“It’s our only option.” She presses. “Wait until this Mephisto person is in the middle of the bridge. “We’ll move quietly underneath it.” 

“…” 

“Do you have another plan?” She snaps. 

“…no?” 

“And you, Laura?” 

“I am content with yours.” 

“Alright.” Itsu nods. “Now get into the water.” 

It takes some grumbling from my part, but soon the three of us are moving fairly quietly through the water, I hear no conversation from the party on the draw bridge, even as we get closer. 

The water is cold… colder than cold. I half expect there to be some kind of iceberg floating around. 

We make it under the bridge, following quietly beneath the loud stomps on the horses. 

“Take the horses to the stables.” A deep voice from over head orders. “I will not need to use mine in my departure.” 

“…then why bring them in the first place?” Someone questions. 

There’s a chuckle. “I do love to make a good show.” 

With that the voices and the noises disappear into the castle. 

I can hear that they’re getting a good distance away from the draw bridge…. So we wait a few moments until I can’t hear them at all. 

“Now.” I order. 

The first one up is X… she’s going to be the scout. 

She climbs up and is silent for a few seconds. “The coast is clear.” She says, hanging her head over the draw bridge and looking down at us. 

“You next.” I nod to Itsu. 

She’s not as graceful as Laura was in getting out of the water. When she’s finally pulled herself up, the bridge begins to creak and move. 

Fuck.

“Hurry.” She whisper yells. 

“Give me a minute.” I growl back. “I’m covered in metal.” 

She looks over the gap and raises an eyebrow. “Metal?” 

“Yes, metal.” 

“I don’t think I knew that.” 

“Well….” I put an hand on the wall, and another on the bridge, hoisting myself up and over just in time for it to start lifting. 

I jump off before it’s too step and land in the courtyard beside the two women. 

The courtyard is stone. There’s nothing remarkable about it. There’s a main building- the main castle I’m presuming, and then two building on either side of the castle connected by arches. It looks… dreary. I remember Romulus always having nice things though. This doesn’t seem like something he would pick for himself. 

“Okay…. That worked. I can’t believe that it worked- but it did.” 

“I have good ideas.” Itsu smiles. “This should not surprise you.” 

“Babe- you’re full of surprises right now.” 

She goes to respond but then stops. “That song.” She whispers. 

“…is it near?” I press. 

“No.” She looks pale. “It’s changed. It’s… broken.” 

There’s a small ‘whooshing’ noise beside us. “It seems that someone has tried to smother my little birds song.” 

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I jumped. 

That woman- Hela is standing beside us. And she doesn’t look happy. 

“Mortals.” She greets. “This is not a place for any of you to be. This is not a place for any to be. Go back to whence you came.” She goes to walk away from us, but Itsu grabs her arm. 

“…wait.” Itsu says. “My son, that’s his song. Can you tell me where he is?” 

The woman turns to her. “Then this is going to be a most interesting encounter-mortal.” She glances at her hand that’s holding on to her arm. “For that song belong to my little bird. I’ve made plans to take him from here.”

“No!” Itsu says quickly. “I’ve come a long way to see him.” 

“I know.” Hela says gently. “You are the missing mother. The one he’s been calling for….” 

“How did you hear him?” 

“I hear all.” She dismisses. “I plan to take him. I fear you have come all this way in vain… take comfort in knowing that his oppressor will soon suffer.” 

Itsu grabs onto her cloak. “Please. You would not separate a mother from her child.” 

“I am not.” Hela says gently. “I shall be his mother. He will not know the difference. I shall care for him and have his song in my own palace. I promise to care for him, mortal. He will be cared for with the utmost consideration for his… condition. Honestly from what I’m told, he won’t care so much as to WHOM does the caring. Any woman could step in at this point. Related or not. And blood is such a meaningless thing here.” She finishes wistfully. “I’ve as much a claim to him as anyone else.” 

Itsu looks at me helplessly. 

But I’m too stunned to move. 

“Logan.” She’s tearful. 

I clear my throat. The worst thing you can do with these people is show fear. “You…. you can’t take him with you.” I try. “He doesn’t belong with you.” 

“And he does you?” She spits. 

“Yes. We’re his family. He belongs with us.” 

“Family?” She spits. “I know of you ‘wolverine’. And I have seen how you treated my little bird.” 

“I…” I swallow, trying to ignore Itsu’s pointed glare. “he gave me no choice. I would have given him the world.” 

“My bird deserves not the world, but rest. How can you care for him better than I?” 

“He… he needs his mother.” Laura tries. “The bond between a mother and a child is special! He deserves that.” 

“I am his mother.” She says coldly. “Hold your tongue little girl. You’ve no business in this conversation. You are childless. You will never know the depth to which we speak.” She looks at Itsu. “I will be a good mother to him. It will take time…. but I shall make him see my way of thinking. I will be the best mother he could ask for. And all I ask in return is that he sing for me. When he’s healed, he will grow into a youngling of much wealth and power. It will be all that he’s ever desired.”

“No,” X says clearly. “I knew him when he died. He doesn’t want that anymore. I think…” She stops, “No… I KNOW that he’d want to go with Itsu.” 

“I repeat- the boy’s mind is broken. Any woman can fill the mold at this point. When he’s more of sound mind- I’ll have cared for him so much and so well that he won’t even question it. With his poor broken mind- I will give him a new past. He’ll not remember his time on earth…. And he’ll have no need of any of you. He’ll have me.” She smiles. 

“But you aren’t his mother!” Itsu insists. 

“And you are? You didn’t birth him.” She spits. “You never held him. You never cared for him. How should you have any claim to him at all? You argument is just as valid- nay weaker than mine. I have done things to protect him. I have put a servant over him to care for his wounds. I have already done more than you.” 

Itsu chokes on her words. “I… I carried him for as long as I could. He grew inside of me! I have had to love him from a distance his whole life!” 

“Technicalities.” Hela walks past us. “I will take him- mark me.” She looks at us coldly. “I spare you for what your torment might do to my little one if he were to discover it. I only ask this small token- stay out of my way.”   
She disappears in a puff of green smoke. 

“We have to beat her to him!” Itsu says raggedly. “This place… though- it’s huge.” 

“We got this, babe.” I motion for x to follow me. “Pick up his scent. Changing pheromones- anything.” 

“You’re…” 

“We can track.” Laura soothes. “We will find him.” 

I hope she’s right. Though the chances aren’t good. 

If Hela has a servant over him, then she knows exactly where he is. 

We have to move fast. 

A scent… shifting pheromones- anything at all! 

… a sudden scream pierces the air. 

X and I look between each other. 

“IS that…” 

“That’s him.” I say gently. “We’ll find him, baby. Don’t worry.” 

I left out the part about him needed to keep screaming for us to find him… but I’m betting she’ll fill that part in for herself. 

We’re running off in the direction of an alley way, a space in-between two buildings that are connected by an over hanging arch. 

Another scream pulls us to a door that is kind of hard to see. “Stand back- I’ll bust it down and-“ 

“Try opening it first!” Itsu interjects. “We don’t need to cause more commotion than we should.” 

Alright. I pull on the iron handle and it starts to creak up. 

The three of us step inside a busy looking kitchen. All the cooks- servants I guess- stop what they’re doing and stare at us. 

“We’re looking for someone.” I clear my throat. “He’s Romulus’ protégé.” 

“Protégé?” A red- headed woman laughs spitefully, going back to kneading the dough in front of her. “You mean the pet.” 

“The ‘pet’?” Laura growls 

“Oh yes. Let me see…. where would he be today? Not with that dreadful piece of Hela’s garbage… no. Master put an end to that. No… he’s been moved. Where would he put the naughty pet this late in the evening??” 

There’s another scream. 

“Oh. That way. Probably in the dungeon. Or his master’s chambers. If I were you I would avoid the latter. Unless you wish to share in his torment.” 

“X- take the dungeon.” 

“I don’t know where it is!” She growls. 

“Down this hall,” The servant points, “ And down the stairs. All the way down. It’s at least four flights.” 

X nods. “Thank you.” 

“Oh don’t thank me child. You’ll most likely find things you do not wish to see. And then you will most likely suffer at the hands of another. I’m not sure who’s down there… but the dungeons are off limits. Anyone who enters who is not expressly sent there is punished most severally.” 

“X- wait-“ 

“I’ll be fine.” She asserts, running off in that direction. 

“I’d leave the woman if I were you.” The woman at the dough continues. “She’s very pretty. He’ll break her.” 

This isn’t wrong. 

“Itsu-“ 

“Don’t even think about it.” She growls. 

Alright… try again. 

“I know this man, honey. He’s no joke. He will hurt you if he gets the chance. It would hurt me, it would hurt Akihiro-“ 

The woman at the table snorts. “So the pet has a name now? Oh please take him away. His screaming gets most tiresome. Take him to some nice little farm house far away from her so his tiny little brain can rot in silence.” 

Itsu turns to the woman. “Be silent.” She hisses. 

The woman takes her in. “This is the bitch then. Surely the two of you see that you’ve sired a mistake. Such a pitiful thing he’s become. Take him. No one will stop you. We’ll all be pleased to see him go.” 

Another scream issues from somewhere in the castle. 

Itsu turns back to me. “Run.” 

I nod, taking her hand. “Stick with me.” 

And we start almost racing towards the sounds of the screaming. 

Down halls and halls and dank smelling wooden doors…. All the way into the belly of the castle. 

In this lone hallway, there stands one door. An old one. Ancient looking even. It’s inlaid with some kind of metal that shines in the torches sitting in brackets beside it. 

There’s no doubt- the screaming is coming from there. 

Sighing, I put my hand to the door, and start to push.


	11. Exhaling in confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a lot in the comics on Mephisto. 
> 
> My personal fav is a story from "Journey into Mystery" where he goes into a bar, talks to a bar tender, and then ends up damning that said bar tender for not offering him peanuts. 
> 
> So ya. 
> 
> Anyway, this is a bit of a long chapter. It was surprisingly fun to write though! I hope yall enjoy! Thanks for reading!

So much… 

Blood pours from my above my eye, splashing down my face in currents of copper scented agony. 

…pain. 

So much…. 

“Worthless.” He growls, grabbing on to the side of head in a odd jerking movement. 

More blood. My… ear is missing. 

It falls to the floor, temporarily deafening me to the sound of my own screaming. 

God. 

At least I can’t hear what he’s saying. 

At least I can’t hear my own pathetic whimpering. 

He grabs me under the chin, using his height leverage to throw me to the ground. 

The floor feels slippery…. 

Why…? 

Blood. It’s my blood. 

Why is he doing this?? What have I done to enrage him? 

His words are short and clipped. Like he’s too angry to be bothered to speak rationally. 

I turn my head to the side, just in time to get a strong kick to my jaw. 

More counting. 

Three.

Teeth this time. Three teeth come out. I have to spit them out of my mouth, issuing more blood to the floor. 

That makes six I’ve lost during this beating. 

What did I do? Please- please just tell me what I’ve done! 

But I can’t say this. He ordered me not to speak. 

Disobeying at this point isn’t an option. 

He bends over and puts his hand around my neck, pulling me up from behind as his other hand engulfs my throat. 

And all I can think of is this- I’ve done nothing. I was sleeping. 

He dragged me here. 

He’s explained nothing. 

“Insufferable…” Fuzzy. I can barely hear him. “Insignificant…” More fuzzy words. 

He throws me to the other side of the room- making me crack my head on the hearth of the fire place. 

I don’t dare look at him. 

Lay still. Still as death. 

It was a game I used to play as a child. 

‘playing dead’ always happened after a vicious beating. If I did it right, he’d leave. Lesson learned. 

“You think to destroy me.” He hisses from above me. “Your weak self. You worthless animal. You think you have power? Sniveling little infant.” 

“…no. Master. No. I would never- please.” He stops momentarily. “I wouldn’t. Please. Stop.” 

He smirks, putting his hand under my chin and shredding the flesh there, just pulling my skin off as if it were tissue paper. My skin- my literal skin, falls to the floor. Air hits the exposed muscle and bone… and it’s all I can do not to pass out. 

I scream. He likes it when I scream. 

“After all I’ve done for you.” he sneers. “You’re nothing without me!” 

There’s a new sound in the room. A popping. He turns his gaze from me with a wide eyed look that could almost be funny.

“Well… Hela, my dear, is this the soul in question?” 

Another pop. “Yes, indeed he is.” 

Romulus takes a step back from me, letting me collapse to the floor. “What are you doing here?”

A red hand comes into my line of vision, it takes my healing face by the chin and turns it to the side. This raises me to where I’m on my knees, barely holding myself up with my good arm. “Tut tut. That looks raw. I don’t suppose you could speak for yourself at this moment- could you boy?” 

“He’s mute.” Romulus lies quickly. 

The man chuckles. “The mute do not often scream as spiritedly as this one.” 

“It… is a mental ailment. It comes and goes.” 

“An ailment? One you yourself should acquire until I am ready to speak to you.” He growls. 

Romulus actually shuts up. 

The room is fuzzy and dark. I can barely see this man’s face. He’s bent over at the waist, holding me up by my chin. “Speak up, boy.” 

I open my mouth as far as I can… but nothing comes out but a pained whimper. 

“Words- boy.” the man insists. “Words. Use them. Is this a normal experience for you?” 

I shake my head. 

“No?” 

I try again. Romulus will be angry. I know he will. I’ve got to make him look like he was in the right. 

“Let’s ask that again, shall we?” he chuckles. “Is this, this beating and dismemberment, a normal experience for you? Don’t lie boy. You’re not in trouble now. that will not be the case if you lie to me.” 

“…no-normal.” I affirm whilst spitting up blood. 

“I thought so.” He thumbs my healing flesh. “that looks like it smarts.” He comments. 

I nod, feeling sick again. 

“Oh don’t hold back on my account.” The man allows me to lean over and vomit messily onto the floor.   
And I’m going through this motion thinking…. I’m going to have to clean that up later. And my blood. It’ll take hours. 

“feeling better?” 

I start to nod, but he smiles. “NO lying.” 

So I shake my head instead. 

“Good boy.” He praises, putting his hand back on the almost healed flesh now, once again holding me in place. “Were you spawned here, child?” 

“What is the meaning of this?” Master growls. 

“I’ve told you to be silent.” 

“This is my dwelling. I’ll say what I choose.” 

“Then you choose foolishly.” The man turns to look at him. “A wiser man would have waited patiently to gain my favor.” He drawls. “You are obviously not a wise man” 

“Leave.” Romulus orders. “Now.” 

“No.” The man defies. “When I made my bargain, with you,” the man squats down on my level now, running his hand through the various puddles of blood with mild disinterest. “It was agreed that you would accept to rule no other souls in this place other than the ones I would grant to you. You would take what I gave you and punish them as I deemed fit.” 

“…and?” 

“And…” the man laughs. “I didn’t give this one to you.” He turns to Hela. “Hela, dear, did you give this boy to him?” 

“No.” the woman chuckles. “I did not.” 

“So it stands to reason that not only have you acquired a soul on your own, but you’ve taken it upon yourself to dole out means of punishment. Punishment I do not think this one deserved.” He looks at me. “Do you think you’ve deserved this? What he’s done to you? All that he’s done to you?” 

“…all?” 

“Every bit of it.” 

“Leave.” Romulus repeats. 

“Silence.” The man shushes. “I will answer for you boy as I know far more than you do…. ‘no.’ No your crimes on earth did not warrant what he’s done to you. Especially since a little birdie told me that half of said crimes were committed on his behalf.” He chuckles a little bit. “You were a rather good boy towards your death- weren’t you? This should have been like Christmas for you. Instead you’ve found yourself dropped into a horror movie. Do you like horror movies child?” 

That’s… random. 

“Uh-“ 

“Simple question.” He continues. “Do you like them?” 

“…no?”

“No? Well why not?” 

“… I don’t… watch movies.” I have to swallow copious amounts of blood to speak… but when I do I feel that my teeth are starting to regrow. Small miracles.

“NO movies?” He gasps. “Hela you must see to it that he sees some….” He turns back to Romulus, who looks a cross of annoyed and frightened. “You’ve nullified your bargain. You are forfeit to me. If you are wise you will come along willingly. Since you, as we have previously stated, are not a wise man, then I suppose we shall have some kind of altercation.” 

“He was in the void.” Romulus growls. “He had no place. It should not matter if I stole him from nothingness.” 

“But there in lies the problem-“ The man reaches out and touches the nub of my missing arm. “You stole him.”   
he makes a small tutting noise again. “Did you take the arm or did he come like this?” 

Romulus looks confused. “..what?” 

This man has a way of rapidly changing topics. It’s a little hard to keep up with him.

“Have you,” The red man enunciates, “Taken his arm, or did he come like that?” 

There’s a pause. “I found him like that.”

What a strange change of conversation. The phrasing doesn’t sound right. It sounds to odd. Like Romulus is a child being reprimanded. If I wasn’t so frightened, I’d be somewhat amused. 

“Did he?” The man asks me. 

I nod. 

“Hmm.” He looks at Hela. “My lady, would you have the power to tend to your birds broken wing?” 

“If he was behaved good enough, I should be persuaded to try.” She walks further into the room. “I’d rather like it stay off though. The look becomes his state quite nicely.” 

“…please…. don’t…” 

“Don’t speak, little one.” Hela coos. 

Speak? I want to die. All I want is to die. NO more of this. Just let me…

“Unless it is about where you’ve come from, that is.” 

“…I don’t know.” I shake my head as much as I can with him holding me. “..death.” I .. . yes. … please. “Mercy.” 

“My child,” The red man laughs. “You’re already dead.” 

“no… no..” I feel like I’m crumbling in on myself. 

“Yes, child…. For the moment I think silence would be best from you.” The man says in thought. “Unless you could answer where you were before here. Could you answer that?” 

“See how my little bird struggles to speak?” Hela says softly. “Mephisto don’t question him.” 

Mephisto? This is the man… 

I feel sick again. 

“A ‘bird’ would at least sing. Do you sing, my little chick?” 

I can barely manage to shake my head. 

“You don’t?” he gasps. “You’ve been misnamed.” 

“I propose a new deal.” Romulus growls, putting the table between himself and Mephisto. “One that you would benefit from greatly.” 

“I’m not ready to talk to you about this again.” Mephisto dismisses before turning his head back to me. “Where were you little bird?” 

“I will not be so easily dismissed.” 

“You will be quiet.” 

“And what would you wager on that?” 

“You have a serious betting problem.” The man laughs. “Seeing as you yourself are no long your own. Then you have nothing that I do not own. Therefore you have nothing to bet. So be silent.” 

I can’t help but let my mouth fall open. 

This man is fearless. 

NO- not fearless. He is fear itself. 

“Where did you come from , child?”

“He doesn’t know.” Hela interrupts again. “Poor little thing was lost.” 

“Hela, dear, let your chick sing for me. I’ve yet to hear his voice fully.” 

He looks at me. His eyes are black. 

“Where were you?” 

“…please.” I beg. “don’t hurt me.” 

“Hurt you? Wouldn’t dream of it.” The man rubs his thumb against my cheek again. “Where were you?” 

“I… please.” I feel myself starting to tear up. 

“Oh no.” Hela says, walking over to the hearth. “Do not upset my little one so! He is incapable of answering your questions!” 

“He will answer no questions at all if he knows what’s good for him.” 

Hela huffs. “You would do well not to threaten my little one.” 

“He’s not your ‘little one’. Not yet.” 

“Oh what are you going on about now?” Mephisto sighs in aggravation. “You do love to hear yourself speak.” 

“If he says nothing, then you will have no grounds for proof and our contract still stands” 

“Proof? Is that not his blood on the floor?”   
“But can you prove that it’s his?” 

“Well is it yours?” Mephisto asks incredulously. 

“Perhaps.” 

“Little one, please speak.” Hela encourages. 

“Don’t.” Romulus orders. “Say nothing.” 

“….” 

“His fear of me is greater than anything he harbors towards you.” The man taunts. 

“And why would he fear you?” Mephisto questions. 

“Because he is wise.” 

“Because he is scared.” Hela corrects. 

“Right-o my lady.” Mephisto holds a finger up. “He holds his tongue out of fear. He holds his words out of trauma. Since he is in your care and he has suffered this great trauma that has robbed him of his own words to speak to us and caused him this great fear- one must stand to reason that you’ve done nothing to care for his condition.” 

“….and?” 

“And if you’ve done nothing to care for him, knowing so obviously that he required the attention- then you were in some form of negligence- punishing him.” 

“You can’t punish through negligence!” Romulus demands, sounding very much annoyed now. 

“I have about thirty lawyers I could bring in here to prove otherwise.” Mephisto smiles. “So you punished him knowingly and with forethought, or you did so ignorantly and with sheer stupidity. Either way, through your own admittance, you’ve broken your contract.” He pauses. “Also your squabbling has cost me an important meeting. We shall discuss that later though as it means little to the conversation at hand.” 

“I demand to see the contract.” 

“Ah.” the man smiles. “But we didn’t write it down. If you were as smart as you think you are, you would have gotten it writing.” He turns to me. “Settle one tiny portion for me little one…. Where were you before now?” 

“This is unimportant.” Romulus growls.   
“Your location?” Mephisto sighs. 

“Say nothing.” 

“You are getting on my last nerve.” The red man sighs. “I don’t have many to spare… so when they’re stepped on, it makes me a little more than aggravated.” 

“Mephisto.” Hela begs. “The little one cannot speak. He’s too frightened.” 

Frightened? More like confused. 

Well… frightened too. Yes. 

But mainly confused. 

“Just one little nod then.” The man sighs rolling his eyes and glancing over his shoulder at the tall woman. “Where you in another place?” 

“Stay still.” Romulus growls. 

“YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO THIS CONVERSATION.” Mephisto yells towards the ceiling. “Boy- answer me this before I’m driven to the very brink of insanity! WERE YOU SOMEWHERE ELSE?” 

Slowly I nod. 

“Good.” He sighs, much quiet than before. ”Very good.” he sounds happy. “Now tell me- was it a dark place?” 

I nod again. 

“Wonderful. Thank you so much.” 

he’s… oddly polite for a demon. 

“Oh look at this mess, little one.” Hela soothes from above Mephisto. “You’ll require bathing before I can put you to rest.” 

“… pl-“ 

“Please? Oh yes. You will be pleased. A warm bath. Something to soothe you. I’ll have my healers fix something for you to help you relax. Little birds sing better when they’re relaxed and comfortable.” 

“I… don’t sing.” I try. 

“he doesn’t even speak.” Romulus says off handily. “Why would you give him to her?”

“Right now?” Mephisto chuckles. “Mainly out of spite for you.” 

“He’s ruined. All of this for him? He’s nothing. Less than nothing.” 

“Then it shouldn’t bother you for us to be taking him.” Hela says with a smirk. “Since you’ll have no need of him now. Tell me- did your plans for him come to fruition? Or did you get frustrated like a child and decide to break him? Had you held your temper your eternity would have been much better.” 

“He was broken when I found him.” He insists. 

“Oh. I see.” Mephisto sits up. “So did you just find him then? Because he was very much bleeding when we came in…. and the room is very much still coated in blood.” 

“That you can’t prove is his.” 

Mephisto sighs. “I am surrounded by lawyers literally ninety percent of the day. I can do this all day.” 

Hela dismisses the two of them with her hand. “Please move away, Mephisto. Let me take my little one and leave here.” 

“We’re having a discussion.” The man says, turning his head to her. “He has vital information that I still need. If someone would shut his foolish mouth, we could extract the information and move along.” 

“Then ask him already!” She snaps before turning to Romulus. “Stay silent.” 

“Alright. If you are capable of answering,” He turns back to me. “What has he done to you?” 

That.. that I can’t answer well enough. Does he require a full list? It will take an hour at least. Words- it will take words. Words that I don’t have anymore. 

“…everything.” I settle for. 

“Everything?” He muses. “Vague- but just enough to work for our intent and purposes.” 

“That is not an answer.” 

“If you say one more thing I will wound you.” Mephisto growls. 

“Move.” Hela orders. 

“Oh alright.” The man grumbles, standing up and allowing her to trade places. 

She runs her hands over my scalp. “So messy, little one.” She chides. 

That’s… not my fault. 

“We’ll have to get you new clothing.” 

“… I-“ 

“Shush. New clothing. Yes. And a bath.” 

I feel like she wants a pet. Or maybe a child. 

“I will not let you take him.” 

“I swear to god I will kill this man.” Mephisto grits through his teeth. “Fact- You-“ Mephisto points to Romulus. “Have nullified your own bargain. Therefore everything you have is forfeit. There fore the boy will go where we say he is and right now he’s going wherever I deem would be most annoying to you!” 

“I fail to see the logic in that.” He snarls.

“You have stolen a soul. Though in the void he may have been- the fact is that you still took him. Now you yourself are forfeit. The rules were quiet clear! Are you really this dense??” 

“But you never specified the-“ 

“Take your bickering else where.” Hela orders. “Remove him from my little one. The sooner they are separated, the safer the little one will feel.” 

“Hela… you’re too soft on him.” Mephisto chides. 

“of course I am.” She affirms. “he’s my child.” 

“….Your?” 

Child? I’m… I’m not her child. 

I’m not a ‘child’ at all! 

“Oh shush little one. Maybe not yet you aren’t. But you will be.” 

No. no. I’m not her child. 

I can’t trade my own heritage for one she gives me! 

…can I? 

Would it be so bad to let someone else take control? 

I could be what she wants me to be if she’d give me back my voice. 

“I see the wheels turning.” She smiles. “Come with me.” She puts her arms under me, pulling me into them. “Let me take you to my kingdom…. Where you will live not as a prisoner-but a prince.”

A…. prince?

I need to think. I need to rationalize.

Hela’s skin is cold. Like ice. 

She lifts me like its nothing.

“No… no. Please- no. Not yet. I haven’t…. I haven’t decided.” 

“Shhh.” She soothes. “You have nothing to fear.” 

There’s a noise outside the door. It pushes inward and there’s… 

“I warned you to stay out of my way.” Hela hisses. 

“Put him down.” The person growls. “Or I’ll make you.” 

Logan? 

“Oh wonderful.” Romulus growls. 

“One more word.” Mephisto threatens. 

“But he’s agreed to come with me.” She smiles. “haven’t you little one?” 

“…I don’t understand.”   
Logan? Here?

Its… its too much. This isn’t real. This cant be real.

There’s the sound of claws being extended. My father’s claws. 

“OH this is dreadfully melodramatic.” Mephisto says from his side of the room. “If you’ll kindly stop wasting my time enticing me into a battle we can get this over with.” That wasn’t said in our direction. 

“Put him down.” Logan repeats. “You have no claim to him.” 

“…. You are not a fit parent.” She says while looking at me. “If we were on earth, he’d be taken from you for what you’ve done.” 

… “He’s not a child.” Logan tries again. “He doesn’t need parenting like you think he does.” 

“Of course he does.” She shushes. “He needs mending. I will mend him.” 

“Do come on.” Mephisto again from the other side of the room. 

There’s a growl and a hiss from the red man. “You’re going to regret that.” 

The two of them are fighting now. 

It’s an awful noise. 

“Then let us mend him.” Logan tries again. 

Us?

Yes. There’s… someone with him. Someone who smells so familiar yet so strange. They smell…. Like me in a way. Like me but not like Logan. There’s no Logan mixed in that scent. It’s not Laura then… though I’d been hoping I’d find her some day if I ever got away from here. 

“Enough of this!” Mephisto yells, blasting energy that knocks Romulus off his feet.. “Hela end this! I will take what’s mine, you will take what’s yours and we’ll be done with these mortals! You’re too fond of them woman!” 

“Just this one.” She soothes, running a cold finger over my shoulder. “Pay no attention to them, little one. They abandoned you. I would not do that.” 

“Put him down.” A woman comes into view and orders this harshly. She’s who was standing outside the door. The person who smells like me. “You have no right to him.” 

She’s… like an angel. The most beautiful woman..

An angel. Her skin is so pale and soft… and her eyes lock onto mine with a kindness I don’t feel that I deserve. 

“Oh little bird…. Enough. You’ve suffered much.” Hela coos from over me. “Let me take you home. To our home. I’ve made a room especially for you. You will sleep like you have never slept before.” 

“Let him go!” The woman orders. “Now!” She’s got a sword now, it’s tiny, but it’s got dried blood on it already. This weapon has been used. And from the sight of it, it’s been well used. 

“You’ve become quite bothersome my lady.” 

Mephisto turns around. “Why are you allowing her to speak to you that way?” 

Hela says. “She’s the mother.” 

The… mother? 

Who’s mother?? 

“And…” He makes a noise of disgust. “You didn’t tell me he was spawned of that.” 

“Fuck you too.” Logan growls. “Put him down lady. This shit ends now.” 

Mephisto directs his full attention to us. “So that’s the father and that’s the mother… Hela dear, I think they have a case against you.” 

My mother? 

“You fool.” Romulus coughs up blood. “I’ll-“

Mephisto growls and blasts him again, rendering him unconscious. “Ah.” Mephisto abandons his conversation with Romulus as if it were nothing. “That I find interesting.” 

That’s my mother?

“She is no mother to him. She’s never seen him before.” Hela hisses. 

“Woman- mortal. Do you claim him as your own?” 

“Yes.” The tiny woman does not hesitate. 

She wants me. She’s here.

“And you would stand against Hela?” 

Mother. My mother.

“Yes.” 

“Hela a claim such as this should be taken into account.” 

The woman sighs. “Oh not again.” 

“Why… it’s only fair.” The man says in mock awe. 

“And who would judge?” 

“Myself, of course!” 

“I’ll not play your games.” She growls. “I am not fond of them and I will not be tricked from my prize.” 

“Of course not.” The man smiles and raises an eyebrow. “Your place our mine my dear?” 

“Oh I wish you wouldn’t.” Hela groans. 

Wouldn’t what? What are they talking about?? 

“What else have I do to do? Even torturing that one will get old quickly. I fear he’ll break too easily.” He jerks his thumb in Romulus’ direction. “Let us have a trial.” 

“…. My place then. So little one can rest.” 

“Agreed.” 

Hela looks over them… my parents. Both of them. 

“Where’s your third?” 

“She’s in the dungeon.” Logan answers. “If we’re doing a trial, you have to promise that no one will get hurt.” 

“What a strange man to make demands of me.” Hela ponders. 

“Promise it.” Logan presses. 

They’re too far away now. I can’t see what he looks like. 

“Alright. You, the woman, and the girl shall not be harmed.” 

“…girl?” 

“Oh! Yes.” Hela says excitedly. “We shall interview her to see if she’d make good company to keep in your court little one. She seemed rather fond of you.” 

My… court? 

“We shall have to retrieve her….” Hela says with a nod before looking back to Logan. “Go do so and come back here. I will take my little one to my palace and come back for you.” 

“… wait!” The woman steps forward. My mother. Oh mother. She’s…. please don’t let this woman take me. Not with you so near. “Allow me to go with him.” 

Hela sighs… looking down at me. “I suppose he would need the supervision…. And if I win this trial you will not be permitted to see him again…. It’s only fair.” 

“Thank you.” The woman nods her head and reaches out for Hela. 

We disappear with this odd floating sensation. 

When I open my eyes we’re standing in a large well lit room. “Hmm.” Hela ponders, looking over me. “Little one, forgive me, but you’re far too filthy to lay on the bed.” 

“…floor?” I offer. I’ve been sleeping on the floor for months. Another night won’t kill me. And I really want Hela gone as soon as possible. I need to speak with my mother. I have so much to ask her… so much to say. 

“Of course not!” She assures. “We’ll have to bathe you.” 

“I can do it.” The woman… mother. Yes. That seems right. She steps in. “While you return with the others and finish your business. NO servants need be bothered.” 

Hela regards her for a second and nods. “Very well…. I doubt you can lift him though.” She looks around the room. “follow me.” 

We move out of the room and down equally bright hallways. This place… it’s so bright. 

“Here we are.” she opens a door and leads us into a spacious bathroom. Sinks fill one side of the room whilst the middle is taken up by a large circular tub. 

“Water has already been drawn.” Hela bends over and places my feet to the floor. “Wash him well. I don’t want any filth on his bedding.” 

“I… can wash-“ 

“Shush.” Hela says. “Behave. I’ll come back for you in two hours time.” 

She leaves… and I’m left standing… 

I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know… 

There’s a hand on my shoulder and I don’t even want to look at her. 

“It’s okay.” She soothes. “You’re okay.” 

“….” 

“It must be jarring.” She continues. 

“…” I swallow spit. 

Inhale. 

Breathe. 

Choke down whatever it is that is crushing you. 

Mother… my mother. And I’m like this. 

She’s meeting me at my lowest point! I barely speak. How can I convey what this means to me? How sure am I that this isn’t another of Romulus’ head games? 

“You do not have to speak if you do not wish too.” She comforts. 

But I do wish to. I want to talk to you. 

She’s behind me. “Can I look at you?” She questions. “Will you allow me to see your face?” 

I stand stiff… so unsure of what to do. 

“Let me look at you darling.” She presses. “Just for a moment.” 

I nod slightly, trying not to tense up when she starts to turn me around. 

She’s so small. So delicate. 

It’s a little jarring to see her in modern clothing…. And I’m probably chalking that up to Logan’s doing. 

“There you are.” She smiles brightly. “You could be my twin.” 

“…help.” Is all that comes out. 

Her eyes hold this terrible kindness. “Of course my darling. I’m going to help you.” 

Her hands are still on my shoulders. I crave that contact. Don’t let me go. 

Mother please. 

Don’t let me go. 

“Let’s get some of this blood off of your face to start with.” She lets go and I almost panic. 

She walks across the bathroom to the tub and retrieves a cloth, wetting it in the water. 

She winces. “The water’s a little hot, yet. We shall have to wait.” 

It’s fifteen of her small steps back to me. One tub. Three sinks. Eight bloody foot prints- those are mine from the small distance I’ve moved. 

I find that I’ve moved closer to her. 

She turns to look at me. “Would you like to come over here?” 

I shake my head. 

“Then stay put, darling, I’ll join you in a moment.” She picks something up from the side of the tub and pours it into the water. 

“Here we go.” She steps up to me and brings the cloth to my face. The movement is too quick and I find myself flinching- bracing for impact. 

That impact never comes. 

“I’m not going to hit you.” She whispers. “I would never do so.” 

“…please…” 

“Please what darling? What do you want so badly?” 

What do I want? That’s a question no one has asked me since I woke up here. What do I want? 

“…mercy.” I choke. 

She nods. “you deserve mercy. I will go above and beyond that.” 

I start to tremble. 

“Darling… you aren’t saying much. I’ll be honest, I expected more from our first encounter.” 

She doesn’t understand. It’s been a hard day. I’m so…

The shaking intensifies. 

“Akihiro?” She questions. 

She knows my name! She’s learned my name. 

I fall to the ground, unable to support myself. 

“Oh no, no, no. “ She comforts. “Oh Akihiro, don’t cry.” 

I hadn’t realized I was… but now I can’t stop. 

“Oh darling.” She comforts, going to the floor on her knees as quickly as she can manage. 

“….I called.” 

“And I heard you.” She soothes. “Let me hold you.” 

I shake my head. I’ll not show this kind of weakness to her! I need to… straighten myself. 

“Please, for my sake?” She asks gently. “Let me hold you until this passes. Allow me to comfort you- please. For me. I’ve waited to hold you for so long… let me hold you Akihiro.” 

I find myself offering my arm. She takes it gently and pulls me into her, resting my head on her stomach and most of my torso on her lap. She wraps my arm around her back, and then her arms over mine. Or what would have been mine. 

“There.” she soothes. “Doesn’t this feel better?” 

It’s all I can do to nod. 

“I will find a way to come see you.” she says gently. “As often as I can manage.” 

“…how?” 

“I’m very determined.” She chuckles. 

My body continues to shake. “You’re freezing.” She notes. 

“…blood loss.” 

“Of course. That monster’s been at you again.” 

“…master?” 

She hisses. “Don’t call him that, love. He’s no master to you.” She smirks. “He’s no master to anyone now.” 

What… what will happen to him? I was so caught up with Hela that I forgot to pay attention. 

“Shhh, my love.” She comforts. “Shh.” 

She sways a little, back and forth… and back and forth. It’s calming in it’s own right. Her hand makes comforting circles on my back. I find the crying stops, leaving me aching and empty. She however does not stop when it does. 

“Relax.” She soothes. “Relax and let today be a bad dream. He cannot hurt you here.” 

“…but…” 

She’s silent. 

She didn’t interrupt. 

She’s… waiting for what I have to say. 

“…he’s already hurt me.” I finish. 

“I know baby.” 

Baby. Yes. I was her baby. This is the woman who made me. 

I don’t like that word… but I don’t mind it when she uses it. 

She rocks some more. “But I will not let you suffer anymore.” 

How can she stop it? The suffering is set in my bones. I will never forgot what he’s done to me. 

“Your father and I are going to protect you.” 

“… x?” 

She smiles. “Her too. She’s quite a fierce fighter- isn’t she? It was amazing to watch. She has courage in a way that I find contagious.” 

I feel a faint smile on my lips. 

“She’s going to live with us.” She continues. 

She… I don’t know her name. 

“…your name…” 

“My name?” She chuckles. “Itsu. And yours is Akihiro.” 

“…yes.” 

“It’s wonderful to meet you.” She continues to chuckle. “My that sounds awfully formal.” 

“…it does.” I laugh quietly. 

“Then I shall not be formal, darling. You may call me as you wish.” 

“…mother?” I offer. 

“Yes.” She smiles. “That would make me very happy.” 

We lay still for a while. Today… yesterday… all my days play through my head. 

The trembling starts again. 

“We should test the water.” She says gently. “If for nothing else to raise your body temperature.” 

I shake my head violently. 

No. She can’t.   
“Now, now.” She chides. “We have to do what will keep us safe. I told Hela I would wash you. Let me wash you- baby. Let me take care of you.” 

“…” I go to say something, but just end up whimpering again. 

“You’ve been hurt so badly.” she soothes. “The water will feel nice on your skin. IT will take away the blood… you won’t have a physical reminder of what he’s done to you.” 

“…please..don’t go.” I try. “I can’t… please. You- you’re here. Please-“ 

“Oh darling.” She soothes. “My little one, you are fine. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Please don’t leave me.” I beg. “I’ve… I’ve wanted this for so long.” 

“Me too love. Now sit up. I’m doing what we need to do to keep the two of us together. You will listen to me- won’t you?” 

Obey. 

Listen and obey. 

“…mother?” 

“You will go with Hela.” She says gently. “You will do as she says. You will not- however- ‘hold anything back’, as your father would say. Don’t pull your punches. Let her see this rawness.” 

“…no. how?” 

“Like that.” She smiles. “Just like that. Use your words Akihiro. As broken as they may be. Use them for her. Gain her fancy…. She’s quite taken with you. Use it to your advantage.” 

She’s… scheming. Like… me. 

“Your brain- my love. It’s one of your last weapons of defense. You’re very smart.” 

I shake my head. “I’m not.” 

“You are.” she insists. “You are. They’ve made you think you aren’t… but what they said doesn’t change what you are. Think- my little one. Gather information for yourself. You’ll have more run of the castle than your father or I.” 

“Where will you be?” 

She smiles softly. “I don’t know yet. You don’t worry about that. You focus on what you need to love.” She pats my back a few times. “And rest, dear. Sleep as much as you need to. Take the food they give you… take her comforts. Rest.” 

“…why?” Why should I? Itsu… mother is here. We can leave! Why are we staying?? 

“Because mother is telling you to.” She chuckles. “And you’ll learn quickly enough that I am very much in charge of our little family unit.” 

That makes me chuckle. “…Logan…” 

“Will do as I tell him.” She laughs good naturedly. “That’s the power women have over men…” She stops. “I suppose you’ve got that as well- don’t you?” 

“…what?” 

“You’re preferences. You’re quite good with men.” 

Oh. Oh. She’s…. that may not be- 

“You’ve got so much of me in you.” She praises. “That little part that makes us what we are. The beauty of it…. use yours for good, little one. There is great power in physical attributes. That’s only skin deep though. Use your mind. Your skin will draw them in, but only your mind will keep them there.” 

IS she… she’s teaching me. 

I can’t learn. 

“…I-“ 

“Lessons over.” She almost chirps. “You’ll learn more as we go on.” 

Wait! Go back. How is she in control? How did she get that way? Did she trick Logan into loving her? 

NO. that can’t be. 

“do.. you love him?” I stammer. 

“More than my life, love.” She soothes. “We love each other very much.” 

“..and.” 

“As it’s said… ‘baby makes three’.” She raises an eyebrow. “Your water is cold enough now, Akihiro.” 

She starts to push me out of her lap. I resist, clinging to her back. She chuckles. “Darling, let go now. It’s time to get clean.” 

Her clothes…. They’re starting to get red stains wherever I touch her. I let go of her as if I’ve been burned. 

“That’s better.” She soothes. “Give me your hand. Let me take you to the tub.” 

“…” 

Flashes of the last few hours steal my breath. 

Choke. 

Inhale. 

Gasp. 

And Choke. 

“Akihiro?” She puts a hand on my face, directing my eyes to hers. “It will be alright, son. No harm will come to you so long as I’m around.” 

I swallow back another whimper and let her man handle me to my feet. 

The stone feels weird underfoot. Like it’s not really stone but something softer. 

When we’re at the tub, I glance at the vile she poured in the water earlier. 

She catches my gaze and smiles. “I used to use something similar. It’s good for relaxation of the muscles.” She nudges me to the edge. “It will feel wonderful- I promise.” 

“…” 

“Would you like me to turn away while you undress?” 

“…” 

She hums to herself. “Do you need help undressing?” 

I quickly shake my head. 

“There’s no shame it in if you do.” 

The servants words from the other day echo in my mind. When he was talking about my uselessness. Talking about how it was a surprise that I managed to dress myself. 

Bad memories. I’m full of them. 

I feel something warm on my legs. Shocked I look down. 

“Sit.” She orders, pushing on my shoulder. 

How….?

“You were distracted, love.” She informs. “Do you do that often?” 

“…maybe.” 

“Is it something you’d like for me to keep an eye out for?” 

“….” 

“When you start to get distracted, I will make sure that no harm comes to you.” She smiles. “I will move you until you are yourself again.” 

A… 

“Sit.” 

Protector. 

Mother’s… mother’s should protect. 

But then… my mother is human. I should be protecting her. She was in the same room with three powerful beings today. Armed only with a sword. 

She smiles, I hadn’t noticed that I’d been staring. “Yes, dear?” 

“You’re… human.” 

She nods. “Yes.” 

“But.. today… you weren’t scared.” 

She laughs loudly. “Not scared?? I was terrified!” 

“…” 

“Your father says I ‘talk a big game’.” She takes on a deep voice. It’s… funny. She’s funny. 

“Heh.” 

“Sit.” 

I do as she says, letting the water come up to my chest. There’s strange feeling of ease here. 

She starts to hum something. It sounds vaguely familiar. 

“Do you know that one?” She pauses. 

“…I think.” 

“I sang it when I was pregnant. You were a very active baby at night.” She pauses, and wrings out her cloth- not hiding the fact that it is now deep red with blood. “Are you still active at night?” 

“…no.” 

She nods. “We were up all night together you and I. Your father and I had many fights over it. I was so enraged that he could sleep.” She giggles. 

She goes back to humming. 

The water is warm and calming. I feel like I’m boneless. 

“Head up.” She says after a minute. 

I open my eyes and see that I’ve sunk down low, I’m almost reclined at this point.

“Mother…” 

There’s a knock at the door. “Is my little one ready?” 

No. It can’t have been two hours already! 

“Mother- I,” 

 

“I know.” She comforts. “Dear, I know. Go with her. Do as she says.” 

But… but why? 

“He’s been cleaned.” She calls back. 

Hela opens the door, having removed her headdress and most of her costume. She dresses in a simple clothing now… the only thing left from her ‘battle gear’ (I guess) is her cloak. “Good.” She looks me over. “You look much better clean, my little one.” 

“…” 

“Have you used up your words talking with her?” She sounds spiteful. “Then we shall rest you until you have new ones. Then, on the morrow, you will use them on me.” 

“He’s a little weak.” Itsu warns. 

“Did you use the vial left out for you?” 

“Yes.” 

Hela nods. “Then he should be very much ready for sleep.” 

That…. Is not a lie. 

There’s so much to take in. 

Mephisto, and Hela, and Romulus… Logan and Itsu… something about X. Contracts and voids and bargains. 

And pain… but then not pain. 

“Allow me to bed him my lady.” Itsu says, looking at me slyly. 

Hela seems happy at her phrasing. “His clothing.” She drops some cloth on one of the sinks. “His room is the one down the hall we were in earlier. You’ll find everything he requires in the room itself.” She directs her attention to me. “Good night. I hope you sleep well.”

I think she’s trying to sound sincere…. But it’s coming off stiff and formal. She leaves without much very preamble. 

“Mo-“ 

“It’s okay.” She shushes. “I’ve found an angle, my love.” 

“Angle?” 

“Get dressed.” She smiles. “I’ll take you to your room.” 

What angle? 

If there was an angle wouldn’t I have seen it? 

“What angle?” I try again. 

She smirks… and it looks very, very familiar. “Let me worry about that, love. You need rest.” She helps me out of the tub. “Your father and I will be to see you very soon.” 

“… and the trial?” 

“We will cross that bridge in time.” She smiles again. “No worries, love. Rest.” 

That… she sounds like I used to . She sounds like the nicer version of me. 

Maybe… maybe I am a little more like her than I would have thought. 

It could be the fear… there is a lot of that. Or the exhaustion- which is also a lot. Or maybe just the liquid in that vile… but I’m exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a year. 

My mother takes my hand. I realize that I’ve spaced out…again. And she’s dressed me. 

“This way.” She soothes. “It’s past time for you to get some rest.” 

I’m… yes rest. 

This is too much. It will take a week to dissect today. And the main part of the day I’d rather forget. 

I’m in a large bed now, surrounded by at least twenty bracketed torches on the wall and large hanging tapestries. 

“You’ve gotten distracted again.” She teases. 

“I’m sorry.” I mutter.

She nods. “Good night my love.” She soothes. “Think on your moves wisely.” This is a whisper. 

“..yes.” 

“Good.” She smiles. 

My moves. 

First words and then moves. 

Take it slow. Take your time. 

She’s leaned over me and kisses my forehead. “Go to sleep, love. I love you very much… and I will see you very soon.” 

That shocks me into silence. Thousands of people have told me that they love me… but this one… it’s got a ring of safety to it. 

It’s… 

Oh hell. No more thinking. 

Please… 

Finally… 

Rest.


	12. Plots, plans, and corsets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is prompting me to re read Beowulf. Which I love an think everyone should read at least once! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> The amount of research that is going into the next few chapters is ridiculous! 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

“This place is deceiving.” Laura complains from her seat. “Nothing feels as it should. I feel like my footing is not secure. The stones are too soft.”

“Ya… well it is what it is for right now.” I grumble. “No need to complain about it.” 

We’re seated in this dinning hall. 

A lot like the one’s Thor likes to frequent. 

It’s brightly lit with rows of long wooden tables and benches. 

In the very front of the room there’s a table on a raised platform that our hostess probably seats herself at. 

Very Beowulf-ish. 

“…. But it’s well lit.” She continues. “At least that’s something to be thankful for. Romulus’ place was quite dreary.” 

“…. Yea.” I don’t mean to sound short with her, but Itsu and Daken have been gone for a very long time. It’s making me nervous. 

“You never said what happened to him.” She presses. 

What happened to him? 

Something very unpleasant that I would pay money to see. 

Apparently, from my understanding- the idiot made a deal with Mephisto. Something anyone in the super hero circle can tell you is a bad idea. Those deals never pan out. 

He ended getting dragged back with Mephisto to go be the man’s ‘guest’ for pretty much all eternity. 

Knowing what this entails- I’m almost happy about it. 

But no amount of torture can atone for what he’s spent my son’s lifetime doing to him. For what he’s spent his lifetime doing to me. For turning us against each other time and time again. 

But at least the fucker is suffering. That’s a small step in the right direction. 

“Knowing Mephisto’s usual tactics,” I drawl, “Probably something involving fire.”

“It’s less than he deserves….” 

“Well… yea.” And we haven’t even seen Daken yet. Not fully. Who knows how he’s holding up? 

God I hope he’s at least semi- pleasant to his momma. That he’ll at least listen to her. 

I’ll admit that there was a moment of panic watching Hela hold him like that. 

A goddess of death…. And she’s cradling him. He seemed so detached. But not like his usual detachment. 

His eyes… well ‘eye’… he looked so beyond grief at that moment. 

“…am I bothering you Logan?” Laura asks gently. 

I sigh. “I’m sorry Laura. I’m worried.” 

“… Itsu will be fine.” She assures. “Hela wants Daken functional. He’s probably not right now. Exposing him to Itsu will make him happy. Hela will see that. Eventually…” 

The door opens to the dinning hall, admitting a very large- very, very large- man with Itsu behind him. 

“The three of you are to follow me.” He says, his voice is deceptive. It’s gentler than it looks like it should sound. 

I stand up and go to my wife, who smiles at me. “Darling.” She greets. 

I could ask a million things. I settle for, “How is he?” 

She smile fades a little around the edges. “He’s been hurt very badly… but he let me talk to him. And hold him. And… it was wonderful. You never told me he was so much like me.” 

I snort. “Ya he’s got a few of your more clever traits. Figured I’d let you find that out on your own.” 

“He is very clever- isn’t he?” 

“How’s he holding up?” Laura questions joining us. 

Itsu directs her attention to Laura. “Hela had me put him to bed. I stayed with him until he fell asleep- which is what’s taken me so long.” She smiles again. “He claims to not be active at night- but even with the muscle relaxant he fought sleep very harshly. He seemed determined- when he discovered that I was staying until he slept- to not sleep.” She looks at me. “Very ‘bull headed’ my love. Much like you.” 

“Stubborn and Akihiro go very well together.” X nods. “They had to force him to sleep when he lost his arm… he was trying to chase down the man who did it.” She smoothes her hands over her uniform, which is very bloody at this point. 

I bet it’s what she was wearing when he lost the arm. 

It’s a lot more concealing than her old one, white too. I really like this one. It looks like she got to pick it herself. 

They were on the same team…. I can see her being there when it happened. 

And I can definitely see him going after than man who did it.

I can see that. It makes me smile. 

You can say a lot about Daken, but the boys got balls. I’d like to think he go that from me. 

“Then they had to force him to sleep several more times during his recovery.” Laura continues. “He’s very willful.” She smiles. “I’m sure he’s doing fine, Logan.” She assures, looking at me.

“He didn’t seem very willful earlier.” 

“He is though.” She insists. “He can do this. He has strength.” 

“I didn’t see much of that.” Itsu says softly. “But he’s promised to do as he’s told.” 

“…and who’s doing the telling?” I wonder out loud. 

“Hela.” She raises and eyebrow, before knowingly looking at the man behind her. 

Hela my ass. Itsu is up to something. 

“Really now?” I laugh. 

“I’ve told our wonderful hostess that I would help any time she needed it. Akihiro seems to me like he’ll be requiring a lot of attention.” 

“Attention that he will receive in spades.” The man from behind us assures. “Now do come. I will take you to your quarters for the time being.” 

“Of course.” Itsu nods, holding a hand out to me. 

I look at her for a second. 

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed,” She whispers. “But we are in very dangerous territory and I’ve all but used up my courage.” She leans into me. “Please hold me as often as you can.” 

Like I need telling twice. “You got it.” 

We walk after the man for a while. 

The castle is impressive. The lighting is something you really wouldn’t expect. It keeps dragging my mind to it. Like she’s purposefully keeping out the dark. 

“Hela,” The man in front of us says when he notices me staring at the millions of torches, “thought that her new prince would not take kindly to the dark. She’s had the whole castle redone to suit his needs.” 

“She’s done this entire thing for Daken?” 

The man snorts. “IS that is name?” 

“NO, it isn’t.” Itsu says quietly. “It’s Akihiro.” 

“Whatever you want to call him will not matter. She’ll likely change the name.” 

I almost stop moving. She can’t just change his name. 

She doesn’t want to parent him…. she wants to own him. and I really don’t think she knows the difference between the two…. 

And knowing him, I know he’s bound to show her. 

We turn down a hallway that houses only one door. And I’ve got this sinking feeling that that’s going to be us. 

I was kind of expecting a dungeon of some sort…. Preparing for the worst and all that. 

When we get to the room, I’m pleasantly surprised. 

It’s.. spacious to say the least, high ceilings supported by strong wooden beams, floor well polished and smooth... Well lit… it’s got actual furniture… 

Rugs on the stone floor… three fire places…. 

Leather Couches seated around one of the large fire places… that already have fires lit in them- as if they’d been prepared for us. 

It looks like a hotel. Basically. 

A hotel in the underworld in the palace of a death goddess. 

Just another normal day. Nothing to see here. 

…. I almost wish we were still fighting Krakens at this point. 

This is the oddest feeling I’ve had all day. 

“Are we guests or prisoners?” Laura wonders. 

“Right now?” The man chuckles. “Guests. If you prove yourselves bothersome, you will be prisoners.” 

“Good to know.” She mutters. 

“Your living quarters are separated into three rooms.” The man explains, turning to me. “One for the two of you, one for the young lady, and a communal living room. A room for bathing has also been provided.” 

He looks between me and Itsu. “Until you’ve come to a decision about what to do with your first child, I would remind you that you are very much on the brink of losing him. I would not consider it wise to try to make another.” 

Itsu blushes, the heat creeping down her entire body. 

“We won’t.” I growl. 

“Very good.” The man says dismissively. “Should you require clothing- which you will if you wish to be presentable at my lady’s court- you will find them in your respective rooms.” 

“Thanks.” I go to close the door, but his hand stops me. 

“I am not finished.” He says pointedly. 

“Ah-“ 

“Continue.” Itsu says, looking at me with a clear ‘say nothing’ kind of look. 

“You are permitted to move about this hall, the dinning hall, and the courtyards. Her highnesses ward of the castle is strictly prohibited.” He pauses. “Unless you are called for.” 

“Understood.” Istu says softly. 

“The trial takes a while to begin. I will provide you with the documents for which you are to study to make your case. In this documents will be list of etiquettes for both the court room and the actual court itself. I strongly suggest you read these rules to avoid getting yourselves killed.” 

“…we’re already dead.” I point out. 

“You will find that there are worse things than death in this place.” 

“… what about Akihiro?” 

“What about him?” The man asks patiently. 

“Is he going to be with us? Is he going to stay with her? How does this work?” 

“Until the court date and a decision is made, Akihiro belongs to Hela. You are not to interact with him unless told to do so.” 

That makes me a little concerned. “Wait a minute- if we’re not to talk to him until the court date- why does she get to?” 

“Because right now,” The man sighs, “He is what she says he is. She has declared him her son. Since this is her court, and her KINGDOM,” He says that pointedly, “obviously it stands to reason that what she wants she will have.” 

“But…” Itsu mutters. “What chance do we have in court if she is in charge of everything??” 

“Mephisto will be in charge of the court.” He assures. 

“Oh and that’s sooo much better.” I groan.

“Hold your tongue.” The man advises. “If a decision is not reached between the two parties, Akihiro himself may be forfeit. He’ll be taken away from all of you.” 

“…what?” My voice is low. I wasn’t expecting that outcome of the trial. 

“Mephisto will take him… or he’ll be put somewhere where no one can reach him.” 

“….no.” Itsu gasps. 

“Think wisely, mortals.” He leaves, closing the door behind him. 

….. 

“We’re not prisoners.” Laura says, in a small almost helpful tone. 

“Nope.” 

“That… is good.” Itsu says carefully. 

“So…” I drawl. “When do we go get him?” 

“…did you not hear the man?” 

“Oh I heard him alright.” I grunt. “But we’re not going to play this ‘who’s the baby daddy’ day time TV shit.” 

“Logan…” Itsu warns. 

“No.” I cut her off. “We’re going to go get him and then get the hell out of here.” 

Itsu shakes her head. “Go look out the window, love.” 

“…what?” 

“The window.” She presses, pointing across the room. “Go look out of it.” 

I look at X who shrugs. 

The two of us go to the window, one of about five with large, well cleaned slates of glass held in at the top and bottom by large wrought iron configurations. 

Outside there’s a courtyard, green, garden- all that shit. Beyond that…. 

“There’s nothing.” 

“Right.” 

I turn back around. “Itsu- where are we?” 

“Hela sits on the brink- my love. That is nothingness- nonexistence. The ‘void’. ” 

Laura makes a small noise. “That would make your escape plan a little more complicated, Logan.” 

I snort. “Tell me about it.” 

“We play by their rules.” Itsu says clearly. “And to do so, we must learn their rules.” 

“Alright….” 

“I suspect that these rules will be somewhat old.” Itsu continues. “Hela is asgardian… which is what was worshiped in … Norse mythology… correct?” 

I think about it. Thor… Loki… Odin… “Yea.” 

“Okay then we can assume her ‘court’ runs by the rules of those ancient times.” 

“Alright.” 

“And we can expect… a few changes to have been made assuming power shifts and the insertion of magic.” 

“…you’re losing me honey.” 

“Hela is very talented in the arts.” She explains. “She has complete control here.” 

“… we need to make her like us.” Laura says thoughtfully. 

“Right.” Itsu smiles. “Very good. She already has proven a fondness for mortals in some sense… she’s taken Akihiro. She’s… she thinks to be is mother.” 

“….which is weird.” I comment. “She seemed to talk to him like she’d met him before.” 

“She said something about his ‘song’. In the courtyard.” 

I shift my weight from one foot to the other. “Right.” I remember. 

“So she’s a fondness for him in particular.” Itsu continues, walking over to the couches and taking a seat, folding her legs up underneath her. 

“We should find out why.” X suggests. 

“Right again.” 

“Okay… “ 

“Laura, she said something about you being in ‘his’ court. Play that up. Be charming.” 

Laura sighs, taking a chair opposite the couches, toying with the yellow streak in her hair. 

Which I haven’t really noticed until now. There’s a blue one too. I wonder what made her decide to do that? 

Part of that teenage ‘I’ll dye my hair whatever I want!’ phase? Does X have phases? I’m a little worried that I can’t answer that. 

“…. I don’t charm well.” 

Itsu sighs. “Then I will teach you.” 

“And me?” 

She looks at me. “You and Akihiro don’t have the best of relationships….. so you will be my escort.” 

“escort?” 

“If this is run like a court… then ladies are within their rights to have an escort.” She smiles. “I’m not sure of course- but I have a ‘hunch’. If Laura is to go somewhere, you will go with her. And be silent. If I go somewhere you will go with me.” She looks at me with a raised eyebrow. “And be silent.” 

“Wait-“ I growl. “Hold on-“ 

“This is not run by men.” Itsu insists. “Your input and over all roughness could be seen as undesirable.” 

Right. Now I’m the odd man out. Chicks before dicks. 

Woman power and all that. 

“Right, right. Okay. So I stay quiet.” 

“We will all look for ways to insert ourselves in Hela’s life.” 

X and I look at her oddly. 

“I already have.” The woman smiles. “I made myself available as a nurse of sorts…. He seems unsure at the moment, but I’m sure Akihiro will catch on and work the angle from his end.” 

“The two of you… plotting together.” I laugh. “I should have seen this one coming.” 

Itsu chuckles. “Oh hush. You know I use my powers for good.” 

“True.” 

She runs her finger over the back of the brown leather. “I will be his nurse, Laura will be his companion… and you?” She asks pointedly. 

“Will be silent?” I offer. 

“Right.” 

This is gonna be a hard few… wait. “How long did he say this would take?” 

“A while.” Laura answers. 

“So… we’ll just live medieval for a while?” 

“I suppose.” 

I join Itsu on the couch. 

It’s been a long day. 

I suppose… 

“No chance you still have that bag with the food in it?” I ask Laura, closing my eyes and leaning my head back. 

“…eh no.” 

“I could use that beer.” I kick my boots up on the table in front of me. If we weren’t’ bone tired, I’d guess that Itsu would say something about that. As is, she just leans back heavier against the couch. 

“I’m sure you could find some in the dinning hall.” Itsu says helpfully, leaning her head on my shoulder. 

“Yea?” I lift my head a little and look at her. 

She chuckles. 

“Should we….” Laura stops and puts a finger to her lips. “Is it safe to sleep here? Should we take shifts?” 

Practical. 

“You are fine, dear.” Itsu assures. “Go to bed if you wish. This has been a trying day.” 

Especially for X. She was kicking the shit out of some ten guys in the dungeon when I found her. 

Krakens and giant men… she’s gone from doing nothing to doing everything. 

“I would very much like that.” X smiles. 

“Do remember to change your clothing.” Itsu instructs. “Ladies probably shouldn’t be walking around in…” She motions to X’s very tight uniform. “That.” 

“Then what do I wear?” 

“A dress of sorts, I suppose.” 

Laura glares at her. “I don’t do ‘dresses’.” 

“Now you do.” I laugh. “If I gotta be quiet then you gotta wear a dress. Finally someone else is getting the shit end.” 

Itsu rolls her eyes. “God forbid you not have the chance to speak, my love.” 

“You got that right.” I lean over and kiss her cheek. “Shows yours babe. We’re at your command.” 

Itsu chuckles. “Then I think sleep is in order.” 

X nods. 

“Laura, tomorrow, you will wear what has been provided for you.” 

Laura grumbles her consent. 

“Good.” She looks at me. “Tomorrow, you will… well we’ll play that out as it comes.” 

“Alright.” 

“Good.” She kisses me again. “Come to bed.” 

It’s such a strange concept. I didn’t think when I got up this morning that it would end up like this. 

Part of my unfairly blames Daken. 

Of course he’d make Hela fall in some kind of love with him. 

Of course he’d put us all through this. 

…. But then I remember what he was like today. 

He didn’t ask for this. 

I’m sure he’d like to be home right now too. 

I wonder if Itsu told him about home. The room, I saw it the other day- we’re going to have to make it more… ‘grown’. It still has the crib in it. She kept it like that… from the sound the door made, I think she closed the door and never went in it again. 

We get to take our baby home… 75 years later. 

If we even get to do that. 

What does Mephisto have to do with this? is he really that bored? 

Wait… yea. Yea he would do this because he’s bored. That’s what he does. 

So the question is – who does he find more entertaining? A happy Hela or a pissed off one? 

“Come to bed.” Itsu says soothingly. 

I look up and notice that Laura’s gone from her chair. Her door is closed and there are no noises coming from the other side. 

“Honey… I don’t know what we’re going to do.” I confess, closing my eyes again. “I can’t fight our way out of this.” 

“I can.” She insists. “I can out think this.” 

“…” 

I open an eye and look at her. 

“Trust me.” her eyes are so hopeful. “I will put all of us back home.” 

“…alright.” 

Alright. This is not in my control. 

Our best running plan is to do exactly what Itsu’s said. 

It’s logical. 

It’s well thought out. 

This is not in my control. 

God I hate things like that. 

Usually it’s stab it and move on. 

I mean I COULD stab Hela… but she’d probably get a little mad at that. 

I COULD grab him while she was sleeping… but then where would we go? 

NO… this isn’t in my hands. 

That’s the hardest thing to realize. 

 -------------------------

There’s a persistent knocking on the door… which fucking pisses me off because I just feel asleep. 

“Darling,” Itsu groans. “The door.” 

“ ‘men’ aren’t in charge here.” I groan back. “You get the door.” 

“Logan.” She growls. 

Groggily I open my eyes. “Fine. I’ll get the damn door.” 

The torches are low and it’s hard to see. 

I hit the wall, the bedroom door, and several pieces of furniture on the way to the outside door. 

I yank it open so hard that the hinges moan. “What?” 

The man from before stands there. “It’s time for breakfast. My lady thought it’d only be polite to extend a hand to you.” 

What? “NO fucking way it’s morning.” 

“4:30 am.” He insists. 

I blink sleep out of my eyes. “And that’s… you’ve got to be shitting me.” 

“…I do not know this phrase.” 

“That’s early for breakfast.” I try again- politely this time. 

“Her highness requires less sleep than most. Our days begin when she wakes.” 

“….fine.” 

“Proper dress is required.” He informs. 

“Right, right. I hear ya.” 

“Also,” He shoves something in my direction. 

“What is that?” 

Looking at it, it looks like a tome. AKA- Big ass dusty book. 

“It’s the documents I mentioned last night.” 

“The…” I groan again. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding.” 

“…I do not kid.” 

I take the book from him, resisting the urge to slam it into his face. 

“We look forward to your company’s presence.” He dismisses. He fucking dismisses me. 

I drag my feet back to the bedroom. 

Itsu’s gone back to sleep. 

“Honey.” I call over. 

She makes a small grunt. 

“It’s time to wake up.” 

“No.” she groans. 

“Yea.” 

She tosses away from my voice. 

I put the book down on a chair by the door and go to the bed. “Wake up.” I grin. This is fun. I always enjoyed waking her up…. just because she hates so much and it’s kind of adorable. 

I give her shoulder a shake. 

“Logan… stop.” 

“It’s important.” 

To that, she makes a small noise. 

“It’s about Hela.” 

She groans again. “Can’t it wait until morning?” 

“According to the big Godzilla man, it is morning.” 

“…Godzilla man?” She groans. 

“The guy from last night.” 

She rolls over onto her back, blanket sliding down her exposed chest… making me think of things that have nothing to do with breakfast. 

“What is it?” She rubs some sleep from her eyes. 

“The day starts when Hela does… and apparently her sleep cycle is super short.” 

“…” 

“The man dropped off the documents too.” 

“Alright.” She yawns. 

“I’m going to go get Laura.” 

She nods. 

“Okay. Don’t fall back asleep.” 

She nods again. 

“Really.” 

“I’m awake.” She promises… though she doesn’t sound like it. 

I leave the room to go towards X’s and there’s a sound from her door. “Do not come in here.” She growls. 

“You’re awake. Saved me some trouble.” 

“I heard you at the door.” 

She sounds funny. Even more muffled than she should be by the door. 

“…you alright?” 

“No.” She growls again. 

“…need help?” 

“No!” 

“…” 

“Laura what the hell are you doing?” 

There’s a full on snarl. “I’m putting on this stupid dress! I hate it and I’d be very much more comfortable in my uniform!” 

That makes me laugh. 

“I’m sure it’s fine.” 

“It’s not ‘fine’.” She growls. “It’s not even half way ‘fine’. It’s got layers.” 

“ ‘layers’.” 

“Under layers.” She informs. “As if wearing Feminine support weren’t bad enough already!” 

‘feminine’ support? 

This sounds like something Itsu should deal with. 

“And I don’t even know how to put this corset on by myself!” 

Definitely an Itsu problem. 

“Hold on a minute.” I say through the door. “Be right back.” 

I go back to our room. 

“X needs help with her clothes.” 

Itsu looks up from were she’s putting her own on. “I can see why.” 

“…wow.” 

The dress is very low cut…. Very medieval looking. Itsu’s is a bright blue… something she never complained about before. It’s very tight around the waist and the hips, making her look even more slender than she is. 

Again my mind goes to things that have nothing to do with what we’re doing. 

“…how long did it take you to get into that?” I grin. 

“…a few moments.” She raises an eyebrow. “Why?” 

I walk into the room and close the door. “Just wondering how long it would take you to put it back on if I took it off.” 

“You’ll do no such thing!” She chuckles. “We’ve got business to do.” 

“Right. ‘business’.” I grin. 

“Not that kind of business.” 

I sigh. I’m not getting any this morning. I didn’t think I would… but I saw that dress and got hopefully. Maybe Hela will let her keep it when we leave…. 

“Fine.” I laugh. “X needs help getting into hers.” 

“It’s easy enough to figure out.” She runs her fingers through her hair for a few minutes, untangling it. “I’ll go help her.” 

“…watch the claws.” I chuckle. 

She stops in the doorway. “Surely she’s not that mad.” 

“You’d be surprised.” 

My clothes are pretty much what I’d been wearing but a different material. So I guess I’m not getting the shaft anymore. 

“Please open the door.” Itsu says from the other room. 

There’s silence and then a creaking. 

“Oh dear.” Itsu laughs. “That’s backwards.” 

Sounds like our day’s off to a good start already.


	13. Of security and invasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this in class... which I shouldn't have done... but hey I write best in philosophy.   
> enjoy! Thanks for reading!

Every time I’ve slept for the last few months, I’ve awoken in pain…. When I started to gain consciousness, I expected nothing less…. Except this time- This time is different. 

The fear is there- and fuck it’s strong. But the imminent sense of danger is gone. 

I’m not on a floor. I’m not chained to some wall or even a bed post…. I wake up in a soft over sized mattress. 

I can’t seem to clear my mind. Yesterday flashes through violently, stealing my breath and choking me with a fear that is very well learned. 

He’ll be along any second. 

Any…. 

Time ticks by. 

Second… 

Inhale. 

Prepare yourself for what will come. 

Usually the first blow is to the head. 

But then- I’m on the bed. Maybe he doesn’t exclusively want violence this morning. Maybe he’ll just fuck me and get on with his day. 

Those mornings are rare- but they happen. 

……….

More time. 

He’s lingering. He’s waiting for me to feel safe… he’s…. 

Gone. It takes a second for all of it to register. I am not his prisoner anymore. 

It takes another, much longer second to clear the haze and panic from my head.

When I do I quickly realize that I’m not alone. 

My mind automatically snaps to thoughts of Master. I cringe without meaning to. 

“Oh little one.” There’s a woman in bed with me. She’s dressed in a low cut, barely draped dress and cloak that really ought to be covering more. Her long black hair falls around her shoulders- 

and she should be beautiful. I should find this woman attractive. 

…but I don’t. 

I don’t have the single feeling for her other than this crushing fear. 

Her voice is deep and soft at the same time…. And it’s got an odd accent to it. 

Old- her voice sounds old. 

Like Romulus’…. Only not. From a different region. Somewhere cold- I’d bet. Somewhere…. 

Vikings come to mind. 

I can’t clear my head enough to make these connections! 

I am in danger! I need to be thinking on how to protect myself! 

The woman has a cold gaze that softens the more I stare at her. 

“Oh my little one.” It soothes. “You’ve awoken.” It sounds happy. “Very good. I feared I’d have to bring you to.” 

Think… think. 

“…Where… where am I?” I croak.  
My own voice startles me.

There’s a chuckle. “Spooked? By your own voice? How precious.” 

Precious?

NO. try again. 

“Where am I?” I try to sound stronger when repeating myself- but my voice wavers at the end. 

“Words? Oh beautiful words. Are you going to talk for me in the mornings- dear? When you’re too sleepy to guard your precious words?” More chuckling. “Breathe darling. You sound like you’re frightened.” 

“…please tell me where I am. “

The woman- wait Hela. That’s Hela! Pale white skin, dark hair, pale face with distractingly beautiful features- Hela. She smiles gently, taking my confusion in her stride- seemingly unbothered by it. “You’re in your room my dear. In mother’s palace.” 

“My... room?” If this is mine- why is she here? Why is she in my bed? Does… she wouldn’t-would she? She couldn’t…. 

She sees me as a child. Right? 

“Do you like it?” She smiles. 

Please… 

All I can think- all I ever think lately. 

Please don’t hurt me. 

I’m not anything. 

I can make myself useful to you. Please don’t hurt me. 

“Little one… do you like your room?” 

Her voice suggests that saying ‘no’ isn’t an option. 

“…yes?” I venture, staying on the safe side.

“Very good!” She says cheerfully. “That’s conversation and answers! Very good, little bird! Perhaps after some tutoring we can have your verbal skills up to par.”

Tutoring? On speaking? 

Am I that bad off?

“…. it’s bright.” I try to shake my head to clear it- but it refuses. 

“Mommy gave you some potion while you were sleeping to soothe you.” She informs. “You were having a nightmare.” 

“….” 

“It may make your head a little ‘fuzzy’ as it were.” 

It’s so bright. How did I fall asleep here?? 

The covers on top of me are fur… lots of fur. The room is all stone, though it’s hidden under colorful tapestries with odd patterns and symbols embroidered into them. 

“…where is she?” 

“And questions!” She sounds very impressed. “Oh little one, you are full of surprises.” 

“Please… where is she?” My voice breaks.

“More words!” 

“The…. Oh please tell me where she is.” 

Mother… yes mother. 

My mother. Here. Somewhere here. 

She bathed me last night…. I was so comfortable… 

And held me- now that I remember it. Her smell, her touch, her face- mother. She was safe. So safe. I long for that.

“Ah, ah, ah.” She chides. “Speak clearly, love. No crying.” 

I’m shocked at her statement. “I’m… I didn’t mean to sound-” Fear mounts in my chest.

“Shh.” She soothes. “Oh little bird, Mother is merely teasing you. Don’t rile so.” 

“Where is she?” I plead. 

Hela’s eyes soften. “Who are you referring to my dear?” 

I swallow spit. “My mother.” 

“I’m right here.” She smiles sweetly. “Don’t you see me?” 

“no… no…” it can’t have been a dream! It was too real. “My mother… the small woman…. With the long hair.” The woman who looks like ME. 

Hela is beautiful- but her features are not like mine. She’s too European. 

Europe and Asia have to very different looks. 

My being mixed makes me a shade different from her…. A difference mother seemed not to care about.   
All that time… in that time I was raised in… she would have stayed with me. Regardless of what other’s thought. She’s yet to refer to me as “Daken”. She insisted on “Akihiro”. 

“Your nurse?” She offers. 

“…no the woman who was with me.” 

“Your nurse.” She insists. 

Nurse? I haven’t had a ‘nurse’ since I was young. Romulus put ‘nannies’ over me… but even then it was a test. A lesson. I couldn’t trust them. 

“…nurse?” 

“Oh you’re so confused.” She coos. 

“Last night…” I stop to think. “Back at Romulus’ castle… there was a woman. She cam with me… With us.” 

“This is quite … adorable.” Hela chuckles. “Yes, the woman who was with us was your nurse, darling. You’ll require a lot of mother’s attention- I’ve employed a woman to help me.” 

Mother…. She wants me to think she’s a nurse? 

“NO… My mother.” I try, lost for words. Was that woman… was she faking? Did she lie to me on Hela’s orders? 

NO. no. 

She was with Logan. It had to be her. 

“She was with me last night.” 

“Your nurse bathed you last night… does that aid in your confusion?” 

“Yes.” I say to appease her. 

I try to move away from Hela, but she puts a hand on my chest and draws me into her. I freeze completely. 

“Relax, my little one. Don’t stiffen so. I’m merely holding you.” 

Eh…. No. I don’t need to be ‘held’ right now. 

“Hela- “ 

“Mother.” She corrects. 

“You’re not my- “ 

She sighs. “Oh little one, I’m trying to make this a seamless transition for you…. I wish you hadn’t had to run into those nasty creatures.” 

“…creatures?” 

“Your so called ‘parents’. They don’t love you.” She sighs. “Not like I do. They left you- poor little thing. My poor little frightened chick. Left you to the hands of that monster. Let him break your poor little wings. I would never do that. I’ve freed you of him… and he is suffering greatly for the damage he was caused you.” 

She… loves me?

“Hel-“ 

She hisses, and it’s a cold, harsh sound. “Mother.” I try again. “Where… are we?” 

“Your room.” She repeats as she wraps an arm around my waist. “Are you hungry, my little one?” 

“…please, I don’t understand anything.” 

“Of course you don’t.” She soothes. “You’ve been tortured by that beast.” She chuckles. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore.” Hela smiles. “Your senses will come to you in time. You are in healing, my little one. Let time heal your wounds.” 

Romulus? She knows what’s happened to him? 

“Romulus… where is he?” 

If I’m here… and last night wasn’t a dream- then he’s….

“I sent him away.” She continues, waving her hand as if she was dismissing the very notion…. As if he was something you could just forget. “For you, my love.” Her arms tighten around me. 

“…” 

“Don’t you want to thank me?” She teases. 

“…thank you?” 

“For taking care of your demons- my dear. That’s what mother’s do. And soon you will find that it will all fade into a nightmare. A simple dream.” Her cold fingers caress my shoulders. “A bad dream. Him, your life before, everything. This is all you’ll know.” 

That… sounds like brainwashing. 

“Mother,” I say carefully, “I…. don’t want to forget.” 

“Of course you do.” She chuckles. “Trust me darling, I know best.” 

“…” 

“Won’t you eat for me?” She changes topics. “That beast barely fed you.” 

“…”   
My mother… she’s here. 

Think! 

Angle. She said she was working an angle…. 

And if she’ my nurse…. 

“I’m not feeling well.” I try, thinly guessing at her game plan. 

Hela lets me go and leans over, placing her chilled hand on my forehead. “Are you feverish?” 

“…it’s not that kind of illness.” 

“No?” She strokes some of the fallen hair from my eyes. “What do you need darling?” 

“I…” 

“Are you thinking of him?” 

“… well-“ 

“Probably fearing what he’s done to you…. mornings were very hard on you- weren’t they?” 

“…” 

Yes. They were. Very, very, ‘hard’. 

“He would hurt you very badly wouldn’t he, my dear. Very intimately.” 

“…please,” I shake my head. If she keeps going I will need a nurse. 

“Oh my love,” she coos. “It’s hard burden to bear when your body is stolen from you.” 

“…stop.” I plead. 

“No.” She shakes her head. “No, you can talk to mother about these things.” 

I can’t… 

Not her. 

Not my real mother. 

Not anyone. 

“You fear that someone will hurt you like that again?” 

“…Hela- “ 

She grabs my arm. “Mother,” she emphasizes, “Will dismember anyone who touches you against your will. It will by my order. No one touches you without your consent…. Or- when pressed- mine.”

So… when would she be ‘pressed’ to give consent for me? 

“Does that settle your mind?” 

“….” No. I need to be sick. How sick do I have to be to get my ‘nurse’ called?

“It’s breakfast time, my love. Everyone has already been seated. They wait for us.” 

No. NO. My mind refuses to move past this bedroom. My body simply will not allow it. I need to think. 

I need… 

I need to breathe. 

God. 

What is this? 

I feel… I feel like I’m having a … panic attack? Is that this feeling? 

“Oh little one.” She soothes. “Oh please do breathe.” 

I gasp. 

“Breathe.” She soothes. 

“…help.” I gasp. 

She takes her hand and presses me to the mattress, rising above me and putting her fingers on my throat. “Ease your mind.” She coos. “Let mother help you.” 

…. “I can’t move.” It’s not a lie. I’m not getting out of this bed. “I’m too tired.” 

She pauses, looking me over before smiling gently. “Of course you are. Of course. My little one requires more sleep than I. How thoughtless of me.” She turns her head. “Tell all that we shall push our schedule back by four hours…. So our prince can rest.” 

I startle when I realize that someone else was in the room. The man… from the castle. My lack of awareness is astounding this morning. 

“Yes, mistress.” 

“Now,” She turns back to me. “Let me put you back to sleep…. You sing best when you’re sleeping.” 

Again with the ‘singing’. 

“Close your eyes.” She soothes. 

“…mother I- “ 

“Shhh.” She sounds like she’s trying to console me. “Shhh. Close your eyes. Close them and quiet your mind.” 

I exhale slowly and do as she says. 

“Good.” Her voice sounds closer to my ear, as if she’s leaned over further. “Now focus on your breathing.” 

“…I-“ 

“Shh.” She chuckles. “You can’t sleep if you’re speaking.” 

“I’m not tired anymore.” 

“Of course you are.” She soothes again. “You just don’t want to sleep now. You’re testing mother’s boundaries. Children do that.” Her cold hands trace my shoulders. “I’ve heard tell that this is when mother’s need to be persistent for fear that their offspring will become ill behaved.” Hela chuckles deep in her throat. “Are you going to be misbehaved, my dear?” 

That… no. NO. It sounds like something he would say. Right before he… 

NO. 

This is a safe place. 

…. but it’s not- is it? 

Am I safe here?

Will I ever feel safe again?

“The notes to your song are jumbled.” She sighs. “Tell me little one, are you trying to be naughty?” 

 

“no.” I say quickly. “Of course not.” 

“You will find that naughty children- however noble they may be- are punished.” 

…punished? 

And ‘children’? 

I’m not a child! 

“… I think you’re…” I stop. “I’m not…. a child.” 

“Of course you are.” She shushes. “You’re my child. And we’re setting boundaries.” Her hand stills on my back. “Now, when mother says ‘go to sleep’… you go to sleep. When mother says ‘rise’ you rise. Unless you are feeling ill that is. When you are feeling ill I will do everything in my power to see that you feel better. Which includes speaking with you about why you’re feeling ill. When mother says ‘speak’ you….” She prompts. 

“Speak?” 

“Very good.” She smiles. “Now my little one, what vexes you? Tell me so I can make it disappear. You shall know no sorrow in these walls.” 

“…thank you.” And I mean that. In a way, a very odd and fucked up way, she’s been nicer to me than almost everyone I’ve come into contact with. 

“It’s nothing my love.” She leans over and places her lips to my cheek. They’re cold… cold like ice. There’s not a drop of warmth in her. “Close your eyes.” She coos. “There’s still much darkness outside. The sun will not rise for some while. You can sleep comfortably if you do so now.” 

I do as I’m told. 

“Very good…” She praises. “Now sleep. Sleep and sing for mother.” 

“…. I don’t know how.” I try to explain. 

Hela chuckles. “That’s what makes your song so pure. It’s unhampered and free of manipulation. You sound like you feel little one.”

I close my eyes, trying to block this room out. 

A while back the man- the one she just ordered out of the room- he told me to listen. Listen and think. I need to heed his advice. 

So listening… what do I hear?   
I try to read Hela- but what I don’t hear becomes much more interesting than what I do. 

In other words- Hela has no heartbeat. Her blood does not pump. 

She is breathing- however. 

How can the lungs work but the heart not? 

“Hmmm.” She murmurs. “Curious little bird. Have you questions for mother?” 

“….no.”

Can she read my thoughts?? 

“Your song,” She clarifies, “Has taken a rather curious turn. You’ll find that it often has to do with your emotions….” 

“My…” 

Then my pheromones have to do something with it to most likely. That’s why it’s so intriguing! That’s why she can hear me so well. 

“Does the little one have questions?” 

“…no.” 

“You’re not curious about your new mommy?” She asks with a lilt to her voice. 

I exhale slowly. “Why…. Doesn’t your heart beat?” 

She smiles. “Maybe I don’t have one.” 

“…” That shocks me into silence…. Which isn’t hard at the moment- given. But this is a lot to take in after just waking up.   
I’m a ‘son’ to a death goddess… my own parents are somewhere in the castle… I mean I think both of them are. It wouldn’t make sense for Itsu to be here without Logan…. 

I mean where does he play into this? I saw him for a second and then he was gone…. He didn’t even put a fight to stop Hela from taking me. 

And X is here too? Right? They came together. They have to be together. 

“Does the thought jar you that much?” Her hand traces the outline of the tattoo on my back she makes a humming noise to herself. “I don’t much care for this. My little bird should not have marked himself so boldly.” 

“…I like it.” 

She sighs. “Do you now? It’s a rather odd pattern.” 

“…. yes. I… picked it.” 

“Did you really?”

This has nothing to do with the heart issue. I’m quickly learning that keeping up with the train of thought of others is pointless for me. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t predict where they’re going to go like I used to be able to. 

I just hold onto my own words and hope what they’re thinking doesn’t lead to any pain on my part. 

“I couldn’t persuade you to rid yourself of it?” She… sounds so soothing. 

“...no.” 

“It would be painless.” She assures. 

“… it took a long time- “ 

“I’d imagine it did.” Hela chuckles. “My strange little one. Letting another mark his skin with steal and ink.” 

…

“In older times tribal warriors marked themselves.” She smiles. “Were you a warrior, little one? Before you were killed.” 

“…” I just nod. 

“You died in battle.” She says gently. “I saw it. Battle’s interest me greatly. I’m always fonder of the causalities than I should be.” She traces my tattoo again. “Tell me about your final battle little one.”   
“…my battle?” 

“How did you die?” She presses. 

“I was stabbed.” I recall. “By a shape shifter.” 

“The woman in blue.” Hela smiles. “She is long due for a spell in the afterlife…. Long has she delayed her own demise.” 

“yes…” Mystique is known here? “You know her?”

“No, but I should like a talk with her.” She muses. “More so now that I know it was she who ended you. Such brutality to my little one should be repaid three fold.” 

“….” 

“Was your battle worth it my little one?” 

“…no.” 

“No?” She laughs. “They never are- are they?” 

I think for a second. “I woke up… to him.” 

“You did.” She says somberly. “And now he is suffering as well.” 

I stare at the wall, ignoring her. 

“He does suffer my little one, mark me.” 

“...for how long?” 

Her hand rests on my face, turning my head towards her at an odd angle. “For ever. His eternity, unlike your own, has been set in stone. He has a lived a long time and acquired many enemies. Even if he were by magic to be released from Mephisto’s grasp- he would not make it far past his gates. He is a marked man.” 

“…he’s gotten away before.” I try. “I’m not safe here.” This sounds like a plea. 

I need her to understand. 

This has to be understood! 

“If I am here- he will get out. He will come for me.” My voice trembles again. 

Hela’s face is soft. “Hush, hush, my little one.” Her finger traces my face. “I’ve told you- this shall be a bad dream to you. He cannot harm you here. He cannot harm anyone.” 

“Please-” My eyes well up. “Please-” It’s broken. 

“My love, what would you have me? The man suffers. What more can I offer you than that small comfort?” 

What can she offer me? 

“The two of us can’t exist together.” I find myself shaking. “He’ll destroy me.” 

“My dear,” She coos. “He’s already done that. What more harm can he bring?” 

“No, no,” I sit up, letting her hands fall off of me. I clutch at my chest, feeling tighten again. “You don’t understand… you can’t- “ 

Hela allows me to sit there for a second, before sitting up. Her hand rests on my shoulder, but she doesn’t try to turn me. 

“I shall speak with Mephisto.” She promises. “We shall render this fear fruitless.” 

“…how?” 

“You need not worry. I shall throw the beast into the void myself.” She motions for me to give her my hand. “Come to bed, little one. Lay down for mother.” 

“…I can’t.” 

“Of course you can.” She takes my arm in her hands and gently maneuvers me to the bed. “No more thoughts this morning. Just sleep. You’re behaving- remember? And when mother says sleep…” 

“I can’t.” I try again. 

“Now, now.” She chides. “When I tell you to sleep…” 

“I can’t shut it off.” I fruitlessly try to explain to her. 

How can I not think of it? It’s everything. Every breath I take. Every thought I can spare…. 

“You’re still worried.” She notes. “I find when I’m worried or upset a cold bath helps. Would you like one?” 

Cold? Why is she always so cold? Maybe it has something to do with he non beating heart. 

“…don’t you mean ‘hot’?” 

She looks at me in a puzzled look. “No, I do not.” 

Eh… no. that sounds tortuous to me. 

“I don’t like ‘cold’ baths.” I settle for. Hopefully it will put this idea out of her mind. She wants to keep me happy- right? Or am I supposed to be keeping her happy? How does this work? 

“It might be what you need.” She offers. 

“…. no.” 

“No?” She chuckles. “My, my little one, you’ve rather a mouth on you today - haven’t you?” 

“I don’t like the cold.” 

“How precious.” Hela laughs. “You’d hate my other realm then…. I’ll take you there for a vacation sometime- if you find yourself putting aside your hatred for the cold and wish to see the snow.” 

Other realm? 

An asgardian one, most likely. 

“You’ve said much this morning, little one. I have high hopes for your recovery.” 

Well…. 

“I will leave you to your slumber.” She rubs my shoulder with her hand. “Should you have need of me; I will find you.” 

That’s… not creepy in the slightest. 

The door to the room opens and emits the man from before. “The castle staff is most pleased with the delay, Mistress. Though the cooks should like to know what to do with the food that has already been prepared.” 

Hela sighs. “Mother has to go attend to business, darling. Do try to rest.” 

Resting is the last thing on my mind right now. 

Hela rises from the bed, the mattress being sturdy enough to not register her movements. Which is good. It’s better than any of the ones I had back home. 

“Stay with my little one. Keep him in his room, for the time being. I should like to show him his new home when he’s feeling a little better.” She orders. 

“Yes, mistress.” 

She walks to the door. “Oh, little one.” She calls. “Do remember that I will speak to Mephisto. Should you wish for your play mates fate to be a permanent one, you might have to think of a way to verbalize the harm he has done…. Mephisto will not be relieved of his prize without valid argument…. And he can be quite mischievous with his questions.” 

Right…. 

Verbalization of what’s happened to me…. Where does she want me to start? 

The door closes behind her and there’s silence. 

“I am glad to see that you’ve taken the shift of scenery so well, highness.” 

I roll over and stare at the man. “…don’t call me that.” 

He smiles. “You are a prince now. Royalty has come with a title.” 

“…it sounds weird when you say it.” 

“I’d get used to hearing it if I were you.” He advises. “It will be less jarring when your own party addresses you as such.” 

“my… you’ve seen them?” I demand, getting up from the bed sloppily and going to him. “Please- where are they? I need-“ 

“To rest, highness. Your mother’s orders were clear.” 

“Please-” I exhale slowly. “Are they hurt?” 

“No. They are quite comfortable.” 

“…” 

“Not happy with the early morning awakening…. Your father was most unpleasant…. And cursed me with words I am not sure that I know.” 

That… does not surprise me. 

So that settles the ‘is Logan here’ question. 

“And… my mother?” 

His face softens. “She’s fine.” He holds up a hand to stop me from my next question. “The girl is fine too. Your mother is interviewing her today to see if she’d make good company for you.” 

“My…” 

“It’s easier on all if you refer to your biological mother as something else.” He puts a hand on my shoulder. “For the time being, anyway, highness.” 

“…. “ 

“I’ve been anticipating a black out.” He teases. “I am glad that you have held off until now…. Your mother seeks to have conversation with you on all levels. You will be her companion as well as her child. She seeks to teach you on how to rule here…. It’s a privilege that no mortal has ever attained.” 

“… I don’t want to rule.” I confess. “I want to go home.” 

“And where is home, pray tell?” 

“…. Wherever they are.” 

He nods. “Well, I hate to be the bearer of unwanted tidings, sire, but this is very much your home now…. And it’s not a bad one by any stretch of the imagination. Make yourself comfortable. I’m sure it’s what your parents would wish of you.” 

That’s true. Mother said something about it last night. 

And they’re safe. 

‘Comfortable’ even. 

We’re all here… we’re halfway to being able to go home…. 

I need… to keep it together just a little longer. 

Just… 

“Rest.” The man instructs, Guiding me by the shoulder back to the bed. “Highness, your mind is very fragile. I fear if you upset yourself too much, you will black out more permanently. Broken is fine- Hela finds it endearing. Ruined- on the other hand….” He sighs. “Watch your symptoms, little one. Let them show if need be… but do not let the extremeness I have seen at the castle be your only state.” 

“…yes.” 

“Yes?” he repeats. “I thought we were done parroting.” 

“…it’s better than singing.” 

“Not true.” He chides. “To sing, you just need to exist. Parroting takes much more effort.” 

“….” 

“Sleep.” He insists. “You will see your company soon enough. And you will see for yourself that they are unharmed.” 

Yes. I think that’s very much something I would need to see.

“…alright.” 

“Very good.” He straightens himself, back flush to the wall, and stands at attention by the door. 

“…are you going to stand there?” I question weakly. 

“I’m your mother’s top guard.” He informs. “While you are recovering, she has leant me to you.” 

“…what do I call you?” 

He’s silent for a second before exhaling. “In truth, it’s been so long since my name was used- that I’ve forgotten it.” 

“You... don’t have a nickname?” 

“…no.” 

“Codename?” 

“…. ‘codename’?” 

Right… normal people don’t have those. Just us freaks. 

“Forget it.” 

“Sleep.” He insists again. “You can have your ponderings at a later hour.” 

“…. ‘ponderings’?” 

“Your inquisitions.” He raises an eyebrow. “You’re quite a curious thing.” 

I would respond… but I feel very tired suddenly. 

He chuckles. “Your mother has grown tired of your delay.” He notes. 

“… but she’s not here.” 

I lay my head on the pillows. 

“Hela does not need to be present in her castle to effect you. She listens to you, little one, and judges your needs based on what the situation is.” He chuckles again. “Also, if it helps to note, she asked me about thirty seconds ago, if you were still delaying your rest.” 

“… telepath?” 

“No.” He assures. “I am the telepath.” 

“…. what?” 

“That’s what makes me a good guard. She arranges her thoughts and then projects them onto me.” 

“….” 

“It’s how I know you so well.” He informs. “And how I also know that she’s lulling you to sleep. Take her offer, little one. She has a powerful magic. Fighting it will get you nowhere.” 

That sounds factual. 

Plus, it seems early. 

A few more hours couldn’t kill me. 

…. kind of funny if you think about it. 

For me at least…. 

But what do I know?

This has been an overall good morning so far; I’ve not made a complete fool of myself. 

But that can change very quickly if memory serves me correctly.

I need to speak with my mother. I need to know her plan. 

He tisks. “Daken, rest. Do not bother your mind so.” 

“…” 

“I’m going to tell her to hit you with another wave.” He threatens. 

I close my eyes and try to think of nothing. 

But the others keep coming into my thoughts- whether I want them too or not. 

Another wave of exhaustion rolls through me, bringing a small sigh from me. 

The man chuckles. “I warned you.” 

We’re going to have to have a little talk about privacy when I wake up. 

“I’m charged with your protection.” He laughs. “You will have no secrets from me.” 

He’s still chuckling when I roll onto my side. It’s the last sound I hear before nothingness.


	14. Inhale and reasonably settle your differences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little personal note here to explain some shit 
> 
> A lot of times when dealing with people who are hurt- people tend to get angry. There's a whole bunch of studies on it and i won't bore you with the details- but that's the main focus of this chapter. It's a little heavy on the raw side of things... but hey. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

I’m not sure if we were supposed to actually sit at the tables in the dinning hall… because it seems that everyone else is standing. 

But… it’s about five in the fucking morning, so I’m sure as hell not going to stand at attention for god knows how long. 

The people- servants I guess- around us are talking in hushed, tired, voices. Little snippets of gossip and bits and pieces of Hela’s endeavors. 

A lot about Mephisto- surprisingly. 

And, surprise here, A lot about us. 

I never got the experience to go to high school… but I’m pretty sure it would feel like this. 

We’ve been waiting for a good thirty minutes- and from the sound of it, that’s not normal. 

They keep saying something about their new princes ‘refusal to rise’. 

And if all this waiting is because Daken can’t be bothered to drag his ass out of bed- I’ll stomp him into the ground. 

We will definitely be having words- I can tell you that. 

The man from earlier, walks in through the set of wooden doors opposite all the tables, and goes to the front of the room. 

He doesn’t say anything, just lets people notice him and stop their conversations on their own accord. 

“Our mistress,” He says loudly when all conversation has stopped, “Has decided to push our schedule back by four hours.” 

There’s a lot of hushed talking around the hall. It sounds very happy. 

“She seeks to grant his highness more rest before he is to come to court.” 

Several people say something of agreement. The general consensus being that Daken is far to fucked up to be joining polite company anyway. 

That takes me for a second. 

Surely he’s not that fucked up. 

He’s healed. 

He’ll be fine- right? Give him a few nights to sleep it off- he’ll be fine. 

“So,” The man drawls. “Please go back to your respective days.” 

He dismisses everyone and the hall empties around us as the scurry back to bed. 

“… did Daken just cancel breakfast?” Laura asks with humor in her voice, looking down at the empty copper plate in front of her. 

“…. I believe he did.” Itsu muses- apparently too tired to correct the name this time. 

“…. Very thoughtful of him- right?” I snort. 

Little shit. Getting everyone down here and then not wanting to get out of bed. 

“Should we retire?” Itsu asks, standing up from the table and moving in a slightly less graceful way than usual. “I’d like very much to crawl into bed.” 

“…maybe. We should use this time to plan- I think. Gather intel.” 

“No, I think my plan is better.” Itsu teases.

“Would retiring mean taking off this outfit?” X grumbles, motioning to the obscenely low cut, and tight, dress- that’s barely a dress. I can understand Her discomfort- I’m embarrassed looking at her. “I’m full heartedly for a plan that takes off this…” She stops midsentence, looking at the doorway. “Do you see that?” 

I look at the empty hallway she’s looking at. “…see what?” 

“I thought… I saw a shadow.” 

There’s a cough from behind us. “Our lady projects herself at odd times around the castle. She’s trying to rise the little one, so her physical body is needed elsewhere.” This older looking woman with long blonde hair is sweeping up the floor behind us. 

“… astral projection?” Chalk that up to something that could come in handy to know. 

The woman speaking to us nods, placing her broom against the wall. “Quite right. It seems she’s been observing you, my lady.” She says to X. 

“…should I be concerned?” 

“Not at all.” The woman smiles. “I do believe you’ll be holding court with her some time today, though.” 

Laura looks between me and Itsu. “Is this good news?” 

“Excellent news. “The woman intercepts our question. “She’s determining whether or not you’re fit to join our court.” 

“And this is… good.” 

“Of course.” The woman smiles. “Hela seems to believe that her youngling will need companions. Since you are already familiar with him- and from his own time- you are of course the perfect fit for the job.” 

“…. I suppose.” 

“So unsure.” The woman laughs. “Trust me, dear, it’s a good thing. Mark me- she’ll be talking to you very soon.” 

“How soon?” 

I watch X try to put together this future encounter. From an outsider’s perspective she might seem scared…. But I know X. She’s not scared- she’s calculating. She’s gathering information to be used later when she actually encounters Hela. 

“I-“ 

“Where do you think you should put it??” Someone thunders from down the hall. 

“Oh dear. Her highness is about in full form now.” 

Hela stalks into the hall looking nothing like she did yesterday. Out of the freaky head dress- it’s hard not to notice how beautiful she is. 

Plus, her choice of ‘clothing’ helps with the illusion of beauty. X looks down right modest next to Hela. 

“Why are you still here?” She demands. 

“I’m sorry, milady. I held them behind.” 

Hela glances at the woman for a second. “The cooks require assistance. Do go and give it to them before I have to start banishing them for their foolishness.” 

“Of course.” The woman bows to Hela, then to us, and leaves the hall. 

Hela looks between the three of us. “I have need of the girl.” 

X steps forward. “I am here.” 

“Indeed you are.” She looks at Itsu and myself. “You are dismissed.” 

“We are not servants.” Itsu says with little hesitation. “If milady would be so kind, we are guests and going through the process of being assimilated into your court.” 

Hela smirks. “That you are. I see that you’ve received those documents I sent for you.” 

“Indeed.” 

“Then pray tell, lady…. What was your name?” 

“Itsu.” 

“Ah. A name from the east.” 

“Yes.” 

“I’ve always enjoyed names from the east…. I’m working my little’s one’s name from him at a leisurely pace. From the sound of your own name- I’d wager that it will not disappoint.” 

“As flattering as that is-” Itsu smiles. “I did not name him.” 

Hela nods in her direction. “So you didn’t.” She smiles a little. “Pray tell me what business you wish to conduct with me that requires me to stray from my agenda.” 

“No business.” Itsu is scaring the hell out of me. She barely glanced at that book- maybe skimmed three pages. And she thinks that’s enough to take on Hela?? 

I don’t know what scares me more- the fact that she thought that… or the fact that it seems to be working. 

“Really?” 

“Just putting into mind the fact that Laura, this young lady, is indeed very young. And while in foreign territory is within her right to request an escort.” 

Hela smirks and nods again. “I rather like the gull of this one.” 

Itsu does a sort of curtsey. “If I might be so brave as to suggest my husband… who acts as a father of sorts.” 

Hela loses some of her smirk. “But of course.” 

She doesn’t look directly at me. 

I think I remember dealing with her in the past…. I’m pretty sure I did anyway. 

If I did- she remembers it more than I do.  
“Then, the two of you shall follow me.” She addresses Laura and I. “And you milady?” 

“If it pleases you, I’d rather go back to my chambers.” 

“Of course. Enjoy your rest.” 

Itsu nods, looking at us with a smile and turns around and leaves. 

I don’t know about X… but I’m a little unnerved. 

“Laura- was it?” Hela questions. 

“Yes…” I subtly jab her with my elbow. “Oww!” She growls at me. 

“Charming.” I whisper. 

“Yes.” She says with a smile. “That is my name.” 

Hela raises an eyebrow at our display. “Walk with me.” 

We start to move, but Hela looks at me pointedly. “You are not part of this conversation. Please stay back.” 

Like I needed to be near them to hear. 

“Of course.” I try not to sound pissed. It’s clear that she doesn’t like me that much. 

“Young lady,” Hela takes Laura’s arm in hers and they start to walk around the hall. “I have need of your assistance. See I have come into a particularly odd spot with my son.” 

“Dak-” she stops because of a look Hela gave her. 

“Do not interrupt.” The woman says coldly. 

Laura bows her head. “You have my sincere apology.” 

“Apology accepted.” She drawls. “My little one is in a position where his mind has been all but damaged. This damage is manifesting itself in an amount of lethargy that I find disturbing. Especially for one who looks so… fit. His lack of physical and mental movement- as it were- I find disconcerting.” 

There’s a long pause. 

“You may react now.” She grants. 

“Of course.” Laura seems thrown. “When he is hurt, he seems to stop moving altogether. It is how his mind works.”

Damaged? How damaged? I’ve been on the fence about this whole thing. I mean… I’ve never seen him show a moment of weakness. The way they’re talking he’s a complete and utter mess. It almost makes me not want to see him. It makes me think that I won’t know what to say to him. I’m still actively trying to figure out how to start our encounter. “Hey son, sorry about your torture. Why don’t you come live with your dead mother and I and we can forget it ever happened?” That seems a little too… fucking weird. We’re doing weird again. 

It’s just not like him… this is a game. 

Part of me wants to feel bad for him…. To protect him. 

But I know if I allow myself to do that that he’s going to throw it in my face at some point. 

All of this and we haven’t even gotten to the damn trial yet. 

“Then you have knowledge of this type of…. ‘shut down’.” 

They stop moving around the hall, pausing by Hela’s portion of the room. 

“To a smaller extent.” Laura says carefully. 

“Very good.” I can almost hear Hela smiling. “This is good news. See, my little one seems to go into spells where he simply cannot speak. Not well anyway. His song is so pure,” She pauses, “But his voice is weak.” 

Which is probably a good thing. If Daken is as I left him- Hela would probably throw him in her dungeon. 

“And you wish for me to aid him?” 

“I think,” Hela drawls, starting to walk again. “That some social interaction would do him some good…. But because of his fearful condition, I feel that bringing in too many outsiders would just aggravate the problem, making him worse.” 

“It is a wise thought.” 

“Indeed.” Hela smiles. Her ego being firmly stroked seems to be the best way to please her. “So I am reaching out to ask for your acceptance in a proposal. My little one, while being part of my court, should also have a court made up of his own peers. Since his condition seems to be rendering him incapable of making new peers- I would like to add you to it. With a somewhat authoritative position on his behavior when it comes to inducting new members. Once he is introduced to my court, I fear that people will try to sway him, to sway me.” 

“Daken is very strong willed.” Laura says gently. “He is hard to sway.” 

“For mortals- perhaps. But my court is not mortal. There are Hell Lords, giants, demons- people of every race above mortal. I fear that if I do not have some semblance of control over him- he will become greatly upheaved at the sheer mass of it and make himself ill.” 

“So… you want a baby sitter.” 

Hela smiles. “What a smart little girl you are.” 

“Does he know about this?” 

Damn it Laura! What part of ‘charming’ did you not get?? 

Hela looks surprised. “Why should he know? These are my orders. He is under them just as much as anyone else… albeit they’re more gentle on him. My little one needs order around him at all times.” 

“Of course.” 

So this is ‘parenting’- huh? Complete control of your offspring. Leaving him out of big decisions…. Placing him under constant supervision…. I can see this ending just wonderfully. 

“Were you to have a problem with his ‘state’ you should contact me. I will deem if it is necessary for him to stay in my care or go with his nurse. In those occasions, you are dismissed if you cannot prove yourself to be of use.” 

“Understood.” 

Hela smiles again. “Very good. I think my little one shall be most pleased by this.” She pauses walking again. “Of course the rules for court will be somewhat more informal where he is concerned. More so, you are allowed to touch him as need be in cases where he’s decided to be more difficult than others. You’ll also note that he is to be accompanied by an escort of his own. A servant of mine whom I have charged with guarding him.” 

“Alright.” 

Hela nods her head. “Good. Then you shall meet with him after he has risen for the day. I myself will be quite busy. If you could call for his nurse to ready him…. He seems most adamant on not doing so himself.” 

“...can’t his ‘guard’ do it?” 

Laura…... don’t. Itsu will skin you if you take this away from her. 

“No. That is why we have a nurse. The guard is for protection. The daily upkeep that our young prince shall require is beneath his station.” 

Laura nods. 

“I’m told… my dear, that you have some sort of protective weapon on your person. Much like my little one.” 

“…yes.” 

“Good.” The woman chuckles. “Extra protection is never a bad thing.” 

Not to mention the three ‘protective weapons’ Daken’s got stashed away in his arms. Arm. Right. He’s only got the one now. 

“I shall do my best to heed your wishes.” 

“See that you do.” Hela releases her arm. “Do tell his nurse to arrive in three hours’ time. I suspect he’ll require rousing once again.” 

“Yes, milady.” 

Hela turns away from her. “I quite like you.” 

Oh god. Hopefully not enough to decide she wants a full set…. 

Fighting for X would be far trickier seeing as both Itsu and I technically are not her parents.

 

Not that that seems to be helping us any with Daken. Itsu isn’t being validated because she didn’t give birth and died before she could hold him, and what I have to say in the matter really doesn’t seem of any importance. 

I almost wish we could just get a paternity lawyer or some shit. 

Tell the crazy bitch that we are biologically related… and therefore have the only right to him. 

“You may go.” Hela dismisses. “I shall see you in a few hours.” 

X walks very slowly back to me, not saying a word or even looking at me. 

She grabs my arm starts pulling me out of the room. 

“…are you okay?” 

“that…. That was very unnerving.” She exhales when we’re past the dinning hall doors. 

“…. sorry about that?” I offer. 

“NO, it is as Itsu said it would be. I am his companion; she is his nurse…” She pauses. “What will you be Logan?” 

“Hopefully the dad who gets to do nothing but sit around and drink beer.” I snort. “She obviously wants me nowhere near this.” 

X chuckles. “I just think you’re trying to have an excuse to drink.” 

“Well after the last few days- I think I deserve a drink.” 

She laughs this time, a sharp, joy filled sound. “Maybe you do. Maybe we all do.” 

“You’d have to be drunk to understand this book she left us. There’s like three chapters dedicated to how to greet someone without getting your neck slashed open for disrespecting them.” 

“… I think we should read that.” 

I chuckle. “What do you have to be scared about? Your court is ‘informal’.” 

“…true. Probably because Daken and I aren’t over a century yet. We are still ‘young’.” 

“You are young.” I point out. “Daken’s got a good fifty something years on you.” 

“But Hela has a millennium.” 

“…true.” 

“Technically, you’re still young too.” 

“…. right.” 

“Itsu has passed a century, just barely. So she’s not considered in our social circle. You’ve far past a century, so you’re not either.” She pauses. “But neither of you are near the age to be considered ‘old’. Or even ‘middle aged’ at this point. You’re both young.” 

“Heh. Young.” 

She nods. 

We continue walking to our door, her still holding my arm. I notice that her hands are trembling a little. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” 

X shakes her head. “That woman scares me.” 

“Good.” I Encourage. “She’s a death goddess- being scared of her is a good thing. It will keep you on your guard around her.”  
“… Does Itsu fear her?” 

That takes me by surprise. “Honestly? I don’t think so. I think she sees her as competition.” 

“Competition?” Laura sighs. “That will not be pleasant.” 

“Itsu is convinced she can win this.” I say quietly. 

“And if she can’t….?” 

“Don’t think like that.” I turn to look at her, not sure of what to do with my face. She looks so lost. 

“I’ve been helping him Logan. He needed me…. And I him. When I awoke, I wished nothing but the best for him.” 

“He’s fine.” I try. 

“NO, he’s not. He’s become ‘damaged’.” Her eyes are wide for a second. “What if he has to stay here Logan?” 

“X…” I sigh. 

“No really.” Her small hand grasps my arm, turning me to fully face her. 

I have to duck my head so as not to be hit by a torch. “Watch it!” I growl. 

“He is in danger- Logan.” She says urgently. “It’s been my job to protect him.” 

Okay…. “…does Daken know that that was your ‘job’?” 

She let’s go. “Well… no. But someone had to! He was all but suicidal!” 

“…suicidal?” 

She nods. “He stopped moving. He wouldn’t speak- he wouldn’t eat- he went into these fits of rage for no reason….” Laura shakes her head, sending hair across her shoulders in a tangled mess. “I was quite worried.” 

“I…” I didn’t think Daken let things upset him so badly. 

I mean having a body part dismembered is extreme… but I wouldn’t have guessed it fucked him up that badly. 

“…. He buried you in a sense- you know.” She says, putting her hand on the handle of the door. “He mourned you.” 

But… the last time we met… 

Why would he do that? Why would he seek to honor me? 

He tried to torture me the last time we met…. I mean I deserved it for killing him- let’s be honest. And then the whole thing about Creed manipulating him into it was a bit of a low blow- he deserved his anger. 

But here he is. Looking… normal. 

“…. He buried me?” 

She nods. 

“…was he blue at the time?” 

“…blue?” She raises an eyebrow. “As in sad?” 

“As in skin color.” 

She nods. “…no. I don’t think he was. I don’t’ think that’s a natural color for him.” 

…. So he stopped being ‘death’. He fought his way out of it. He returned his own humanity. 

Maybe that’s why he buried me. Maybe that’s why he seems to have this connection with Laura. He’s found a piece of his humanity. Finally- he’s becoming a functional person…. Or he was. We’re dead. He’s as he is…. Who knows what he’ll be like now?

“How do you think he’s doing?” I ask after a second of thought. 

“I think…. I think he’s doing poorly.” 

“…ya?” 

“I think he’s scared.” 

“… who wouldn’t be?” I grouse. 

She smiles. “Itsu is waiting for you- most likely. We’ll have to tell her that her presence is requested.” 

I smile back at her. “She’ll love that.” 

She nods and opens the door. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Baby, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” I try. 

Itsu frowns. “I know, I know. But what if she’s there? And Laura said something about a body guard…. What If I can’t comfort him like he needs because of it being in front of a stranger?” 

“I’m sure the stranger will understand his need for comfort.” That sounds wrong to me. There shouldn’t be a stranger involved. No one needs to be involved with this but us. All of this is so fucked up that I can’t begin to straighten it out. 

Itsu straightens her dress, combing through her hair with the sole comb we’ve managed to find in this place. 

That doesn’t effect me- of course. But we gotta look well put together… and between Itsu and Laura- that’s a lot of fucking hair. 

“How do I look?” 

I smile at her, hoping to calm her nerves. “Very nice, dear.” 

“Well put together?” 

“Yes.” 

“…motherly?” 

“Comforting?” I try. 

That seems to do the trick. 

“Darling, escort me to his chambers please. I want to be early.” 

I take her arm and walk her through the door and into the hallway. 

We walk for a bit, her hands starting to tremble. 

“He’ll be fine.” I soothe, putting my free hand over hers. “And if not- you’ll be right beside him.” 

“Right.” She tries to smile, but it’s pale. 

I can tell when we get to Hela’s ‘ward’ because of the ornate, black, stone laden, decorations everywhere. 

The tapestries on the wall are all green with black designs- her color scheme basically. 

There’s several compartments, but Itsu stops in front of the one with a door that has a black symbol burned into its surface. 

“What is that?” She whispers. 

“It’s a spell.” A gentle voice calls from the other side of the hallway. The man from this morning, and the dinning hall, comes walking up to us. 

“For what?” 

“It keeps him in the room. Hela placed it so he would sleep. When he goes to leave- it will be removed.” 

“…why would she do that?” 

“To make him rest?” Itsu questions. 

“Exactly.” The man nods. “Hela thinks he will be prone to… altered states of thinking.” 

This guy… this behemoth of a person…. Why do I get the feeling that he’s the ‘guard’ we were told about? 

He’s… impressive. I’ll give him that. Very… tall? Built like a mountain… with an average face. Forgettable even- the only thing making him stand out is his size. 

“Milady,” he turns to Itsu, “I’m glad you’ve come. I’m having a problem with his majesty that I think you could settle for me.” 

“Problem?” She sound worried. “What kind of problem?” 

“He’s having some kind of …. Fit. He cannot be calmed.” 

“A ‘fit’?” Itsu swallows. 

The man nods. “His breathing is labored and he refuses to speak coherently. I was helping him sit up to alleviate the breathing trouble, and he started trying to fend me off.” 

The man’s hands are wrapped in gauze. It looks like Daken not only tried to ‘fend’ him off- he succeeded. 

 

He catches my glance. “I’ll heal.” He assures. “He- however- seems to relish in his powers.” 

“The claws?” 

“The claws.” 

Itsu looks puzzled. “I haven’t seen his claws… are they like yours dear?” 

“Ya… only…” Wickeder. More black. More… everything. Sinister even. “Different.” 

“…like Laura’s?” 

“…no.” 

She cocks her head to the side. “Did you know she has some that protrude from her feet?” She sounds excited. 

 

“…ya.” I nod. “It’s cool.” 

“She is a marvel.” 

“Well….” 

“Science has come so far!” 

That it has. 

“To think… she’s come from you- my love. She’s so much like you… and yet so much her own person.” 

I smile at her excitement. I just recently told her that X was a clone. Not in front of X, of course. But it made its way into pillow talk. 

“That’s interesting, milady, but your son is throwing a temper tantrum. Maybe you could intervene?” 

She glares at him for interrupting- apparently “Do you know what started it?” Itsu sounds thoughtful. 

“… well… I noticed that he was turning a lot in his sleep. I went to give him the sleeping potion we keep for him…. And he woke up suddenly. I suppose,” The man drawls, “That he did not take kindly to me hovering over him.” He sighs now. “I am to protect him… but he will not allow me in the room. Perhaps you could speak with him.” 

“Of course,” Itsu says gently. 

I look at the man, trying to judge if he’s going to let both of us in. 

He nods and opens the door- saying nothing as I walk past him. 

Daken’s hunched in on himself on the bed… arm stretched away from him as if he had been reaching for something. 

“…Stay out.” He sounds breathless. 

“Darling?” Itsu questions. 

“Don’t.” He stammers. “…. come near me.” 

“Easy, love.” 

His breathing is sharp and pained sounding. 

“Akihiro,” She says sweetly, “you need to breathe. Can you focus on that for me? In and out darling.” 

“…please.” 

“No one is going to hurt you.” She assures. “Can I move closer to the bed?” 

“He can’t.” Daken breathes. “He can’t. She said… she said.” 

“Who said?” She takes a few steps closer. 

“The… mother?” he stops. “No… not her. Not…” he shakes his head. 

“You may call her what you wish.” Itsu says gently. “It won’t change anything between us.” She smiles. “Now what’s wrong? Why are you so upset?” 

“That man.” He says quickly. 

“That man is not trying to hurt you.” 

“…. No one can touch me.” He mutters.

“I can.” She says gently. “Remember?” 

He holds a shaking hand out in her direction, blankets sliding off of him slowly. “Mother?” His voice trembles. 

“Now the man,” Itsu walks towards him, “Your guard- correct?” 

“…” 

“Akihiro?” she prompts. “Did Hela say he was to guard you?” 

He bites his lip and looks away. 

“Son….” She says patiently. “Did Hela say that that man was your guard?” 

Slowly he nods. 

“Good.” She smiles. “Now he’s told me that you won’t let him in the room.” 

“…no.” 

“How can he guard you if you don’t let him?” 

“….” 

Why…? This is Daken. Why is he acting like this? He should be cursing. He should be foul. 

But… not to her. 

He… seems passive. He looks at her like she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Like he’s automatically safe when she’s here. 

I feel… jealous? 

That’s not right- but that’s how it is. I feel like he should feel the same way about me. 

I tried to save him! I tried to help him. 

All I wanted was for him to have a functioning life. Something close to normal and adjusted. 

…. And he hates me. 

She…. She’s had one conversation with him. 

“I know your worries, son.” She sits on the edge of the bed, smoothing her hand over the fur blankets. “But don’t you think Hela would punish him if he tried to hurt you?”

“…he can’t.” 

“And he won’t.” She says simply. 

Daken moves a little closer to her. 

I’ve never seen him like this.  
So… vulnerable. 

And I feel as if I’m missing out on something important. Like they know something that I don’t… something that would make this make more sense.

“You’re soaked in sweat.” Itsu comments. 

“…” 

“Lets get you from under these blankets.” She starts removing layers, his heart beat starts to pick up. “Easy.” She soothes. “Mother’s not going to hurt you.” 

There’s a knock at the door. “Majesty?” 

I open the door a little, having to look up to look at the man in the eyes. “She’s trying to talk him down.” 

“Ask him if I can come into the room.” The man says softly. “Hela will have my head if I’m not in the room with him.” 

I nod before closing the door and walking over to the bed. 

“Honey, the guard needs in the room.” 

“Alright,” Itsu looks down at Daken, “You need to let that man in the room.” 

“…no.” He shakes his head. 

“Yes, darling. It’s his job. Let him in the room.” 

He shakes his head again. 

“Akihiro, remember what we talked about?” She prompts. “You need to do as your told. That man is supposed to be in here- you can’t kick him out.” 

“…. no.” He shakes his head violently. 

“He’s not trying to hurt you.” 

The door opens again. “I’m sorry to barge in,” The man drawls. “But it is my job. I quite like not being in the dungeon, and doing my job keeps me from doing just that. So, sire, I must insist that you accept presence.” 

“Get out.” Daken warns. 

“Highness, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times- I mean you no harm. If I had wanted to hurt, you- I would have done it long before now.” 

“….” 

“What’s wrong with him?” I find myself asking. This behavior is too strange for him. And he’s done a lot of weird shit- that’s saying something. This… this weakness almost- he would never have shown. 

“He fears other men.” The man supplies. 

“…no.” Daken says passively.

“No?” The man raises an eyebrow. “You do not like other men near you- specifically when you are laying down.” 

Daken shakes his head again. “…It’s… not like that.” 

The room is silent for a minute.

“He fears… large men.” Itsu infers thoughtfully. “You’re about, Romulus’-” She looks between him a Daken, noting a look of terror that seems to flash across his features. “The other man was about your size; I mean to say.” 

“Ah.” The man nods. “I am aware that I can be imposing.” 

“He’ll calm down in a few moments.” 

“As he should.” The man advises. “It will take a while to get him out of bed I wager and Hela will not be pleased if he’s behaving like this.” 

“Maybe some kind of bargain can be reached to where he can stay in here for a while longer.” 

The man sighs. “I doubt that highly. Hela has business Today-She’ll want to take him with her.” 

“He’s not fit to go with her.” Itsu starts to argue. 

“It is your job to see to it that he is. Perhaps, we could arrange for you to go with him today. To ‘shadow’ him until he’s feeling better.” 

Itsu smiles a thin smile. “Could you?” 

“That is up to her to decide, but she will heed my advice on the matter.” He sighs. “If we could just get him to the dinning hall, then she could see for herself.” 

I look between the two of them and back to Daken. “He’s right there- you know. You two are talking like he’s not even in the room.” I point to his hunched form. He’s leaning very heavily on Itsu now, like he wants to have as much contact with her as she will allow. 

“He will not provide input into this conversation.” The man says. 

I look back to Daken and it seems the man is right. 

“He’s right, dear. Akihiro’s verbal skills have suffered greatly.” 

“He doesn’t talk?” 

She shakes her head. 

“Daken,” I try, “you don’t talk?” 

He says nothing. 

“Not even a bit?” 

The man walks past me and over to the bed, stopping just short of where Itsu is seated. “he talks in clipped phrases, as you heard. It’s hard to get him to respond.” Daken notes his presence and shuffles back further from the edge. 

He’s being difficult. 

What else is fucking new? He just has to make everything complicated. Even when the people around him are bending over backwards to keep him happy. 

I nod. “I’ve never seen him like this.” 

This shit is going to stop today. He’s going to take charge of this and get over it. I’m going to drag him kicking and screaming into the right ‘state of mind’. Itsu’s being too soft. She loves him- hell I love him too, don’t get me wrong- but she’s never dealt with him. She doesn’t know how he can be. This just means that I’m going to have to show her. 

IF I don’t she’ll be wrapped around his finger…. And I won’t have that. 

“This,” The man drawls. “Isn’t the worst of it. You should have seen him a few weeks ago. He wouldn’t say anything original. He parroted phrases back to us. It was quite frustrating.” 

“…. frustrating?” He scoffs from the bed. 

“See what I mean?” the man asks with a raised eyebrow. “Majesty,” He addresses Daken, “You were talking so well this morning with Hela. Surely you can calm down and discuss these things with us.” 

“…what’s to discuss?” He groans. “… I … can’t.” 

“We could do it mind to mind.” The man offers. 

“No!” He says quite forcefully. 

…. Okay. “What’s that about?” 

“I am a telepath.” The man says quietly. “He seems to think that me acting on my orders has invaded his privacy. While understanding that it may seem that way, I explained to him that he has no privacy here. That someone is always going to be over him at all times.” 

“Why?” I growl. “Hela doesn’t trust him?” 

“Of course that is not her reasoning.” The man chuckles. 

“Really?” I snort. “She put a spell on his bedroom door.” 

“To see that he rested.” The man assures. “She knows he means her no harm. Quite simply put- I don’t think he means anyone harm. He just… can’t.” 

“And she put a telepath over him as a- what? Body guard? Nanny? Live in? What are you exactly.” 

“I’m a guard.” The man insists. “But I will fill any position milady requires of me.” 

That makes me chuckle. “Oh I’m sure you will.” 

The man sighs. “You are quite unpleasant.” 

“…heh.” Daken says from the bed. 

“Unpleasant my ass.” I growl. “We’ve been dragged into this shit storm of stupidity by force. This whole thing is stupid. We’re his parents! HE should go home with us! Do what we do on earth- draw some blood- run some tests, and let us take him home.” I glance over at him. “Trust me- the way he is- you’re all going to be tired of him soon anyway.” 

Itsu looks at me pointedly. 

“…unpleasant.” Daken parrots the man’s earlier statement. 

“Quite true, youngling.” The man chuckles. “He has quite a temper.” 

“…true.” 

“Your father seems to be a topic you are willing to discuss.” The man notes. 

“...heh.” 

“Hey,” I lean around the man and look at him. “You don’t get to do this half speak half not bullshit. You have to-“ 

“Logan!” Itsu growls. 

“Honey, he needs some tough love- trust me. I’ve dealt with him more than you have.” 

“‘tough love’?” The man questions. “I think not. I think he needs torn from that bed and forced into his clothing for the day.” 

“…. That’s tough love.” I supply. “Sometimes he needs a kick in the ass to get him moving.” 

Itsu looks between the two of us. “You most certainly will not do anything of the sort!” 

“…mother...” he gasps. 

“No, Daken, requires a tough hand- baby. He’s…. unruly sometimes.” 

“no…no... no.” He tries. 

“Yes,” I look at him. “You are. Why did you cancel breakfast? Why are you up here giving this man a hard time? Get out of that bed and dress yourself.” 

He shakes his head. “...I’m not… I didn’t! She… she did. Please- it wasn’t me.” 

“Daken, you’re a grown man.” I growl. “Get out of that bed and dress yourself.”

“.. I can’t.” 

“You ‘can’t’?” I snort. “Your legs broke now? You’re just being difficult- like you always are. We’ve come a long way to find you- Daken. You owe us at the bare minimum some effort in this. You can’t sit back and play the victim. You knew Romulus was here. You went with him knowing what would happen.” 

He… whimpers?

“Stop.” Itsu hisses. “That’s not true.” 

“You knew.” I insist. “And you went anyway. What did he promise you this time- Daken? What deal blew up in your face?” 

He shakes his head. “No…no. I wasn’t- I was in the dark.” 

“‘in the dark’?” I point at him. “No you weren’t. You KNEW he was dangerous. You KNEW what he would do to you. YOU did it anyway. Now you want to play the hurt little victim.” 

“Logan!” Itsu begs. “It’s not like that!” 

“…please.” He tries. “He… he stole me. He…. I wasn’t…. I thought… it was my eternity. But it wasn’t. I… was good. I tried- “ 

“Speak!” I groan in frustration. “You’ve always had a mouth on you- use it god damn it!” 

He swallows harshly. “Leave me alone.” He tries. 

“We’re already here.” I walk closer to him. “You’ve drug us all the way here because you couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed yourself. If you think your momma is going to get up this early every single fucking morning to paly nurse maid to you- you’re wrong. You’re a grown ass man. You don’t get to be coddled.” 

He makes this odd noise. “Please… stop.” He begs. 

“…Daken?” I question a little uncertainty before strengthening my resolve. He wants to play the victim- remember that. “Talk to me! You wanted us here? We’re here. Now talk to me.” 

“Logan- please.” Itsu tries again. “I know you and he have had some sorted trouble in the past- but why would he make this up? Think please- my love. You are hurting him.” 

“Get out of that bed!” I order. 

“…stop.” He tries again. “It wasn’t my fault. This…. It can’t be my fault.” 

“Right- right.” I chuckle darkly. “Because nothing is ever Daken’s fault- is it? You always have someone else to blame! There’s no one here now son. This is on you. Do what you’re told- Get up. Cut the bullshit and stop acting like this.” 

He leans into his mother, hiding his face. 

“Logan- He cannot.” The man whispers beside me. “I do not think your approach is helpful. Perhaps you should let your wife proceed.” 

I look around the room in frustration. “We are in dangerous territory, Daken.” I try to explain. “You are controlling more than we are. We need you to man the fuck up and take some of that control.” 

There’s… oh god. He’s curled up now. 

“Logan stop!” Itsu cries. 

 

“You’ve got thirty seconds to get out of that bed.” I growl. “Or I will pull you out.” 

Itsu sighs. “Akihiro… please try to remain calm.” She finally removes the last of the blankets, hand bracing his back to keep him upright. “You need to dress. Please do so before they force you to.” 

“….” He shakes his head. 

“You can’t go in your bed clothes.” The man tries to reason. 

“Twenty seconds Daken.” I warn, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. He’s going to make this messy. We can do messy. He wants to show his momma how messed up he is? We’ll show her alright. Change her mind about this ‘baby needs saving ‘thing. I love him- but he can’t be saved. 

“...please. Leave me alone. I haven’t done anything to you.” He… pleads? 

“Fifteen.” 

“Logan please-” Itsu says carefully. “Think- why would he make this up. He’s hurt! Let me take care of him.” 

“Let go of him, honey. He’s using you.” 

He presses more firmly into her. “No! No! I’m not!” 

 

He sags into her arms that are holding him… it’s an odd picture of need that I didn’t think he would posses. 

“I’m here.” She soothes, running a hand up his back. “Right here. It’s all okay.” 

“Stay away from me!” He orders from the bed. 

There we go. Something I know he’s capable of. Let’s see how his little act holds up when I push him. 

“Get out of that bed.” 

“Leave me alone, Logan!” His voice wavers. 

“Or what?” I smirk. 

“….” 

“Or what- Daken?” 

“Just don’t.” He says quietly. 

I walk over to him. “I’m going to pull you out of that bed. You don’t get to sit here and play the victim. I’ve had it up to here with your bullshit and you’re not going to fool your momma into swallowing it.” 

“…why are you doing this?” He… that’s not anger. I can’t decipher what emotion goes along with that. 

I spread my arms. “Because it’s bullshit. You know it’s bullshit. So get it over with. Get out of that bed. You get the first shot.” 

“…. no.” 

“No?” I chuckle. “More bullshit.” 

“I don’t want… to fight you.” 

“First time for everything. Why are you doing this? What is your game?” 

He shakes his head quickly. “I’m not playing.” 

“No you’re faking.” I insist. “Save it for Hela. You won’t get anything from us.” 

“What are you doing??” Itsu demands. 

“I’m showing you.” I turn to her. “He’s losing. Any second now he’ll jump outta that bed and be on me.” 

“…you want him to fight you??” 

“No,” I correct. “But he wants to fight me. He always wants to fight me. He’s probably trying to work an angle that puts you on his side. He’s using you dear.” 

“…using me?” 

“I’m not!” He says raggedly, grabbing her arm. “I wouldn’t.” 

“Bullshit and more bullshit. Why even speak at this point?” 

He looks away from me. 

“Well?” I demand. 

“...what do you want from me??” He asks raggedly. 

“I’ve already told you what I want. I want the truth. You’ve got everyone here fooled- but I know it’s not that bad. You may be a little ‘blue’… but you’re not bad enough for this kind of attention.” 

“…. please- “ 

“Not buying it.” 

Itsu looks at me imploringly. “Logan, stop.” 

“Out of bed, kiddo. Let’s get this over with.” 

“Don’t come near me.” He sounds a little panicked. 

“First shot.” I repeat. “I’ll go easy on you because of the arm.” 

He stammers over his words, before laying back against the mattress and closing his eyes. 

“You’re fine darling.” Itsu soothes. “It’s all okay.” 

“Hell no it isn’t.” I snort, walking over to the bed, and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Get up.” 

“No…no... please.” 

“Stop the bullshit.” I chuckle. “No one believes you Daken.” 

“…please- I’m not faking.” He tries. 

“Get on your feet!” 

“Please… please don’t.” He begs. 

“Get up Daken!” 

Itsu looks at me tearfully. “He can’t!” 

“His legs aint broke.” I grab his shoulder and lift him from the bed. 

“Logan please!” 

“I’m not hurting him.” I assure. 

He goes completely limp in my arms. “hey-” I growl. “Daken stop! Sit up!” 

He ends up collapsing on the floor…. Just laying there. 

“Perhaps- “ 

I cut the man off. “No.” I turn my attention to the crumpled figure on the floor. “Enough.” I demand, “Get on your feet.” 

“Leave me alone!” He crises loudly.

“Get on your feet!” I reply just as loudly. “Man up and deal with your ‘problem’ like an adult.” 

“This isn’t a wise course of action.” The man interrupts. “Please- his mental signals are not well right now.” 

“‘mental signals’ my ass.” I snort. “Get up Daken!” 

“Leave me!” He repeats, he pulls his arm into himself, looking like a little ball at this point. 

“Why are you making me the bad guy??” I laugh darkly. “I know your bullshit. Stop it and let’s deal with this like adults. NO one is going to believe you.” 

There’s a soft sound… almost… oh god. 

“Hey,” I try in softer tone… “Daken?” 

He makes a strangled sound. 

It almost sounds like… 

“Daken?” 

Itsu stares at me with a saddened look in her eyes. “Logan...” She whispers. “Perhaps you should leave.” 

“Leave? I’m trying to help him!” 

“You’ve reduced him to tears.” The man comments behind me. “This is… rather unexpected. I do not think your ‘tough love’ is of very much use.” 

Itsu tentatively gets to her feet and kneels on the floor. “Come on darling.” She puts hands on his shoulders, pulling him into a sitting position. She looks at me, a few tears on her face as well. “Leave him.” She begs. 

“I…” I stop. “Honey- “ 

She shakes her head. “This… is how you treat him?” 

“…. I mean in the past…” 

“That was cruel.” Her voice is raw. 

“It’s what’s worked in the past. He’s manipulative.” 

His sobs are harder now. 

“Hey…” I gently nudge him with my foot. “That’s enough- alright? You’ve proven your point.” 

He keeps going. 

Not ‘fake’ crying either. His whole body is shaking with the force of this little out burst. 

He’s not faking. He can’t be. Even he’s not this good. 

“I told you he was ill.” Itsu says, running a hand over his shaking shoulders. “He barely speaks- you saw that. You saw that and you continued to attack him.” 

“I didn’t ‘attack him’!” I try to defend myself. “All of our other times-” I stop. “He…. He didn’t give me a choice. He’s done so much shit- how was I to know that this was real??” 

“Because I’ve been telling you!” Itsu snaps. “I’ve told you he was stolen. I’ve told what that man was doing to him! You blamed his own assault on him when he had nothing to do with it! HE would not have willingly gone with that bastard! NO one would!” 

She… doesn’t cuss. 

“…you’re right.” I try to soothe her. “I’m wrong.” 

“Damn right you’re wrong!” She says heatedly. “You couldn’t stop and think for a second that he could have possibly changed! You didn’t even give him a chance. You haven’t since I told you we were going to find him!” 

The room is quiet except for Daken’s small noises. He’s quiet. Thank god for that. I hear him, but a normal person who wasn’t right next to him wouldn’t…. 

He’s learned how to silence himself. 

Probably…. 

Probably from Romulus. He’s probably done this countless times since he got here. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you apologizing to me??” She demands. 

“Because I owe you both an apology.” 

She freezes… her eyes softening. “Alright.” 

“Is he… is he okay?” 

The man behind me sighs. “He won’t speak to you after that.” He taps his foot on the floor. “He won’t speak to anyone after that…. Hela will be most displeased.” 

That… oh shit. I didn’t think… 

We’ve fought countless times. I’ve never once made him cry! He never gets upset about anything! 

“Hela… no wait. Wait. Tell her he’s had another episode.” 

“She’ll have your head if she knows you caused it.” The man warns. 

“Shit.” 

Daken… he’ll tell her. 

A simple “My dad was an asshole and made me cry” would put me in the dungeon.

Itsu looks a little panicked. 

“Akihiro,” She soothes. “You… you have a right to be upset…. But you can’t tell Hela that Logan caused it.” 

He’s still crying. 

“Darling? It would put all we’re trying to do in grave danger.” 

I look at the man beside me. “And you…” 

“What happens when my lady is not here… frankly I do not think is her business. I quite like the two of you and I want to see the youngling at peace. I think he has a better chance with you than he does her. My silence is granted to you in all things.” 

“Hey,” I bend down to the two of them. “Hey…okay. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I thought you just need a firm hand- that’s all.” 

“He’s had firm hands.” She presses. “He needs to be cared for. Not scolded.” 

“Alright,” I look at her and add softly, “We’ll do it your way.” 

She nods, looking down as he rests his head in her lap. “Shh.” 

“… his clothing is on the table by the bed.” The man says from further away. 

“We’re not worried about clothing right now.” I say dismissively. His body shakes as he lays there. “You’re alright.” 

All of our fights- all of our altercations- I’ve never once seen him cry. This is a new thing. 

“Let me take this off of you.” Itsu tugs at his shirt- some soft gray material that I’m not sure has an earth equivalent. 

“…. please.” He groans. “Leave me.” 

“Leave you?” She questions. “Oh no, darling. You should not be left when you feel like this.” 

“…please.” 

“You’re alright.” I repeat uselessly. “Everything is fine.” 

“…”

“Don’t cry.” I try again. “It’s fine. We’re all fine.” 

He either didn’t hear me- or he isn’t listening. 

“Daken- stop.” I try to sound gentle. “I messed up- I admit that. You aren’t faking and you aren’t working an angle…. So just calm down and let us sort this out.” 

My temper… I should have watched it better. How the hell am I supposed to figure out how to deal with him? 

He lets himself shake for a few more minutes before stopping altogether.  
“You’ve got a lot to learn about his care.” The man comments from behind us. 

“Ya.” I scratch my head in a semblance of something that could be thought of as thoughtful. “I guess we do.” 

“A united force,” Itsu says gently. “Is far better than a divided one.” 

I nod. “Alright.” 

“Your father and I are going to help you.” She soothes to Daken. “Would you like that?” 

He’s still for a second before nodding. “Good.” She smiles. “You lay here until you’re ready. If Hela is angry, we will explain it for you.” 

I get down on my knees beside them. “He could use a blanket.” I observe. “He’s shaking.” 

“Are you cold Akihiro?” 

Another nod. 

“Okay.” She looks at me. “Logan?”

I pull down one of the smaller blankets by the foot of the bed and drape it over Itsu’s occupied lap. 

“He’s….” 

“It’s a black out.” The man says gently. “You were quite harsh on him.”

“I didn’t mean to be.”  
“He… his abuse was not always physical.” The man tries to explain. “Do you follow me?” 

“…no.” 

“Romulus was quite… ferocious in all things. Not just his actions.” 

“….” 

“Words.” The man says slowly. “He was quite gifted with words… that’s the power he holds over Daken. He can reduce him to nothing with a few sentences.” 

“…. Words.” I state in disbelief. “he hurt him with words.” 

 

“He was forced to take the blame for almost everything that happened to him…. Even though in reality there was nothing he could have done to prevent it. It didn’t matter. A few words and it was all his fault.” 

“….” 

“He was right. He was stolen. Daken belonged in the void- waiting. Eventually he would have gone somewhere… and he was right. He was actively trying to be better when he died. His eternity would have put him at peace.” 

“…oh.” 

“Romulus found him… we’re still not sure how. It may have been a ‘happy’ accident. Maybe it has to do with some kind of bond between the two of them… whatever the reasoning- he found him. Daken did not have a choice. He simply woke up in the castle. He had no choice in coming here, either. Hela heard his song and decided to take him. His input was not required.” 

“…” 

“He needs to be cared for.” The man restates Itsu’s earlier comment. “Gently. He has suffered much. Coming off too abrasive will not be helpful.” 

“You’re the one who said to pull him out of bed!” 

“I didn’t say to verbally assault him while you were doing it!” The man fires back. “You are an abrasive, thoughtless, cruel minded man!” 

“…what?” 

“You would not believe that your own child was telling the truth in his suffering!” The man growls. “Even after I tried to warn you.” 

“…..” 

“You are thoughtless.” He presses. “And you should not be allowed to interact with him on the simplest of terms until you have recovered your senses.” 

 

“Okay- okay. I got it.” I sigh. “No more tough love.” 

“See? You do not like being berated either.” He says pointedly. “And YOU unlike him, have the power to argue with me. You knew for yourself that he wasn’t speaking. Now you’ve gone and forced him not only to talk to you- but into an argument that you KNEW he couldn’t hold his own in.” 

“I get it!” I growl. “I fucked up!” 

 

The man nods. “Yes, you did.” 

 

“Good- now that that’s out of the way- maybe you can tell me how to fix this.” 

Itsu looks at the man. “Please- please help us.” 

“He….” The man sighs. “There are things we can give him to soothe his mind.” 

“Pills?” 

“Potions.” He corrects. “Things that will ease his sadness.” 

“… could we get some?” 

“Not without Hela’s permission.” 

“Perhaps that’s not the wisest method of treatment...” Itsu strokes him through the blanket. “What do you think my love? What will put you at ease?” 

He doesn’t speak… he doesn’t move… he’s still. 

“You just need rest. That’s all. Rest.” 

He doesn’t say anything. 

“We will get all of this over and take you back home- where you can be a peace.” 

His breathing evens out. I think… 

He’s exhausted himself. And it didn’t’ take much at all. 

“Is he… oh my.” The man sighs. “He’s fallen asleep again.” 

“…. That was quick.” I comment. 

The man nods. “He usually does after an episode like that. The crying makes him tired. He associates the two almost exclusively.” 

“…. ‘associates the two’?” 

“He slept so infrequently.” The man explains, bending down and putting a hand under the blanket onto of Daken’s and taking his pulse. “That when he was actually allowed to sleep- it had to come from an event that proved him useless. As in a severe beating… or something close to it. Large amounts of emotional distress…. He was deemed worthless and sent away. When on his own, he would deal with his emotions as best he could and the action usually put him to sleep.” 

“He cries himself to sleep?” I infer. 

The man nods. “Sometimes. Other times he just blacks out and fades.” 

“…. Logan?” Itsu questions quietly. 

“Yea?” 

“Put him in the bed.” She strokes his head. “I’ll lay with him for a while. You and the guard watch the door.” 

“Alright.” It’s a plan at least. Better than anything I’ve come up with. 

Lifting him is odd. I place my hands underneath him and he’s so limp. He doesn’t weigh what he should. 

When he’s off her lap, Itsu pulls herself into the bed, rolling over so there’s room for him on the edge. 

He makes some kind of quiet noise when I move him, but other than that stays quiet. 

“Here.” I soothe for no one in particular. 

“Thank you.” Itsu smiles at me softly. She’s not mad… not like she should be. I deserve more anger for my actions. She wraps and arm around him, taking his limp hand in hers. “He sleeps peacefully.” 

Ya well… if you sob yourself to sleep I guess you don’t have much energy left for being bothered. 

I sit on the edge of the bed with them. I’ve never… I mean… I never got to see him like this. 

This is raw… human almost. 

“He will be fine when he wakes.” The man states, turning around and walking back to the door, taking the spot on the wall beside it and standing quietly. 

“Ya…I hope so.” 

We never settled the ‘is he going to tell Hela’ bit…. So there’s still a chance that my ass is on the line. 

But then after what’s happened… I guess it should be. 

I guess…. 

I mean after this I’m really not sure what’s what anymore. 

I guess we just wait. 

Which never sits well with me. I’ll have Laura keep a close eye on him. If I know how to treat him- then we can avoid episodes like this altogether. 

Hopefully.


End file.
